Pinocchio is broken; it’s strings have been cut.
Surely your colonel has a kind and loving heart and will let you come home. Sincerely, your loving, aggravated, broken-hearted mother.
“Dear mom and dad, I no longer fear hell. Because I’ve been to Kamp Krusty.”
Lesson learned: Never go camping with Fred Flintstone.
(muttering) Yabba, dabba doo…
I used to find enormous comfort translating Russian poetry.
- What kind of man writes poetry on a computer?
- You could’ve ended that sentence after “poetry.”
“Hey Richie, are computers going to take over the world?”
“A computer’s just a machine.”
(Note: This quote is from 1983.)
The Internet’s down. Also Sheldon may be a robot.
It’s a sign, that little white dot. It means something really heavy. It means: there’s no more telly. It’s time to go to bed.
It’s really nothing you want to hear before bedtime.
You can play with your toys tomorrow, honey. Right now, it’s bedtime.
Good night, John Boy
Good night, everyone.
- Anything else I should know?
- Yes. If you use my toothbrush I’ll jump out that window. Please don’t come to my funeral. Have a good night.
Good night, and good luck.
Can’t sleep. Clown will eat me. Can’t sleep. Clown will eat me.
Dental plan. Lisa needs braces. Dental plan. Lisa needs braces. Dental plan. Lisa needs braces.
I mean, you can see why I’m so hurt, can’t you? Sure I’m a husband and a father, but above all I’m a dentist. A family dentist.
Kirstie, give me a schtickle of fluoride.
Okay, fluoride is safe, it is good for you, and almost every town in America uses it.