What if I told you I was worried if the show went off the air, no one would recognize me at the mall?
That would be a selfishthing, yeah.
Throw every last care away!
Let’s go to the mall today!
We just hang out, and jump off things.
Thing ring, do your thing!
Thank you, Thing.
Let’s go up to the mountains,
Or down to the seas.
You should always say “thank you”,
Or at least say “please”.
Of course I’m not hurt. Mountain men don’t get hurt.
It looks dead. It smells dead. Yet it’s moving around. That’s interesting.
Dad! You killed the zombie Flanders!
Rotting zombie… Sheldon’s new Facebook photo.
[ after much angst over the nude baby picture June sent in, Beaver and Ward have a chat] Everything’s okay, I lost, and nobody laughed at my picture.
[in admiring a painting] I like the relationships. I mean, each character has his own story. The puppy is a bit too much, but you have to over look things like that in these kinds of paintings. The way he’s holding her… it’s almost… filthy. I mean, he’s about to kiss her and she’s pulling away. The way the leg’s sort of smashed up against her… Phew… Look how he’s painted the blouse sort of translucent. You can just make out her breasts underneath and it’s sort of touching him about here. It’s really… pretty torrid, don’t you think? Then of course you have the onlookers peeking at them from behind the doorway like they’re all shocked. They wish. Yeah, I must admit, when I see a painting like this, I get emotionally… erect.
(I’m sorry, that was a movie quote, not a TV quote. Please disregard.)
We need to laugh. Otherwise we’d never stop crying.
- Why are you crying?
- Because I’m stupid!
- That’s no reason to cry. We cry because we’re sad. For instance, I cry because other people are stupid, and it makes me sad.
Y’all don’t deserve to know my name.
Hey, Mom? How come when I was a little kid you guys started calling me “Beaver”?
… And John Candy as ‘The Beaver.’
Hey, Beav! What happened? You spend your money on candy or somethin’?
Oh, I’m sorry. Did I say, “invest it”? I meant, “Be cool and piss it all away.”