I can’t wait to see him tomorrow night!
On Halloween night, the Great Pumpkin rises from his pumpkin patch and flies through the air with his bag of toys to all the children.
If she wants to get her heart broken by a gay guy, she can do so when she’s 18 or 19 and can drink her way through it.
Remember when I told you that there was something about Josh that I couldn’t put my finger on? Well, I put my finger in it.
(some sort of lead-in, like “Once again, it’s time to present”) the Flying Fickle Finger of Fate Award.
-“BB”-
You know, [character], I think I’ll donate a million dollars to that new orphanage. (pause) When pigs fly!
Will you be donating that million dollars now, sir?
I’ve made a donation in your name to “The Human Fund”.
Something to do with interest rates?
They just write it off!
Did you know that alimony is deductible?
I’m more like my father than I thought. I wanted to be the lawyer he was, the man he was. Turns out we both just like to cheat on our wives.
Quick question, JJ: why is a great mortgage rate like your wife in bed? Once a month and low interest.
I don’t have to fall asleep after sex. I want to fall asleep after sex. I welcome the darkness.
Once you do it though, you’ll never have to do it again and there will come a time when your husband comes home smellin’ like beer and wantin’ some lovin’; you’ll follow that fat butt up the stairs because you’ll know that no matter how disgusting the next five minutes may be, it’s still better than work.
We went back to my place; yada yada yada, I never heard from him again.
If you to have sex with that girl, find out what cologne her father wears.
It tastes like feet!
You’re always complaining about how things smell, taste, or sound!
Picky, picky, picky!