It’s bigger on the inside!
Ah, it was your idea, Ralphie. We’re here to get the inside story.
Good luck, Ralphie! If your nose starts bleeding, it means you’re picking it too much. Or not enough.
Hey there, Ralphie boy! (you’re really old if you remember this)
Hi, there.
Hellooooo Nurse!
I’ve been doin’ this job for 17 years, honey. Doctors come and go, but nurses make this place run.
Mr. Bundy, I’ve been delivering mail to your door for 27 years, and today is- [Al slams the door in his face]
George: Shouldn’t you be at work by now?
Newman: Work? It’s raining! I called in sick; I don’t work in the rain.
George: But you’re a mailman!
What – qualified? You drop them in a slot. A chimp could do it.
side note – maybe ( shouldn’t have posted this – don’t wanna give Postmaster General DeLay any more bright ideas…
-“BB”-
Go on, Mojo. Show Marge your happy dance.
A free dance lesson!
Oh yeah? Do you know what Mary Ellen Rogers did? She used The Beaver in order to get Wally to take her to the dance tonight. And don’t look so shocked, because it’s exactly what you predicted she’d do.
Ladies and gentlemen, Carnac the Magnificent!
Sis boom bah … Describe the sound made when a sheep explodes.
(this line drew the largest ever laugh in a Carnac sketch, and caused both Carson and his sidekick, Ed McMahon, to break character and laugh along as well)
-“BB”-
“When they’re mixed, they explode.”
“I always say that when you’re locked in an escape-proof room, it’s good to have a physicist with you.”
MacGyver: Do you HAVE a paperclip?
Found it on an old drive. Sorry about the picture quality. Had to recover the data using quantum enfolding and a paperclip.
No, I’m making flower barrettes. See? I call them Penny Blossoms.
Knock, knock, knock
Penny!
Knock, knock, knock
Penny!
Knock, knock, knock
Penny!