What’s the story, Morning Glory?
All right. I met this girl tonight in a coffee shop. She gave me her phone number. So when I got home, I gave her a call. She said to come over. In the cab, all my money flew out the window. Then I got to know this girl, and I didn’t get along with her that well. It didn’t really work out, so I left. I tried to take a subway tonight. But the fare went up! Did you know that? You knew that? I didn’t know anything about that. I haven’t enough money to get home until I meet this bartender… a really nice guy who really wanted to lend me the money… they’d actually purchased this piece of work here. I didn’t know anything about that. She’s pissed off at me, and for this, I don’t blame her at all for the way I treated her friend. It was inexcusable. So I march right in there to apologize, but she’d already killed herself. I was too late. …he was about to give me the money, when all of a sudden, his phone rang. His girlfriend killed herself tonight. Is that a coincidence? No, because the same girl who I came downtown to see was dead, too. That’s because they’re the same person! They’re both dead! I couldn’t believe that. He didn’t know that I came down to, you know, his girlfriend; because he would have taken my face and he would have smashed it. Luckily, there was this girl, who saw everything, who let me use her phone. Really nice about it, too. Let me use the phone. That was it. Just use it. Pick it up and put it down. She’s the one in the Mister Softee ice-cream truck who’s trying to kill me! They’re all trying to kill me! I just wanted to leave my apartment, maybe meet a nice girl. And now I’ve got to die for it!
Next time, we don’t date the girl with eleven evil ex-boyfriends.
Maybe we could go out for coffee sometime?
Didn’t you see Fatal Attraction?
He must have seen Casablanca ten times.
Say, sport, don’t I see you sometime on television in old movies?
Wait a minute. I know you, you’re Kareem Abdul-Jabbar. You play basketball for the Los Angeles Lakers. I think you’re the greatest, but my dad says you don’t work hard enough on defense. And he says that lots of times, you don’t even run down court. And that you don’t really try, except during the playoffs.
Yeah. I been out there walkin’ around, thinkin’. I mean, who am I kiddin’? I ain’t even in the guy’s league.
I tought I taw - I did! I did! I did tee Michael Jordan!
It’s all in your head, Mr. Tweedy. Say it.
Do you have any idea how crazy you are?
Madness, as you know, is like gravity. All it takes is a little push.
You’re the man now, dog!
Like a seeping mist, I will creep into the dogs’ center of power, and make them quake in fear at the very mention of my name!
Macavity!
How’d you know my name was Mac?
What’s my name today?
Bond. James Bond.
Rambo is a pussy.