What I said was “God exists and he is American.” Now if you begin to feel an intense and crushing feeling of religious terror at the concept, don’t be alarmed. That indicates only that you are still sane.
And that’s why America has never, and will never, lose a war. Because the very thought of losing… is hateful to Americans.
There’s something wrong with us, something very, very wrong with us. Something seriously wrong with us - we’re soldiers. But we’re American soldiers! We’ve been kicking ass for 200 years! We’re ten and one!
Shut up! We didn’t lose Vietnam, it was a tie!
Sir, do we get to win this time?
Do me a favor. Kick some Hawk butt.
You know what I want you to do? Will you do something for me? Do me a favor. Just kick my ass, okay? Kick this ass for a man, that’s all. Kick my ass. Enjoy. Come on. I’m not asking, I’m telling with this. Kick my ass.
Well, I’ve got some cushion. Wanna kiss it? I didn’t think so!
A kiss may not be the truth but it is what we wish were true.
A dream is a wish your heart makes when you’re fast asleep.
One, two, Freddy’s coming for you
Three, four, better lock your door
Five, six, grab your crucifix
Seven, eight, gonna stay up late
Nine, ten, never sleep again.
As your attorney, I advise you to take a hit out of the little brown bottle in my shaving kit. You won’t need much, just a tiny taste.
You want a tree? I’ll tell you what. I’ll give you the best tree I’ve got on the lot for nothing. But the shit’s gonna cost ya… a hundred.
That is one big pile of shit.
Watch your mouth, young man!
Only I didn’t say “Fudge.” I said THE word, the big one, the queen-mother of dirty words, the “F-dash-dash-dash” word!
What do you think I say when I go to the feedstore in town? “Oh, now Wally, give me a bag of that F-in’ pig feed, and ten pounds of that bitchly cow corn!” And the bank do I tell Mrs. Bollinger, “Oh, here’s one big bastard of a check, give me some of your Christ-ing money!” THERE, LOOK THERE, SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO!
You’re fucked.
I haven’t been fucked like that since grade school.
That’s it, man. Game over, man. Game over! What the fuck are we supposed to now, huh, what are we gonna do?