Jubilation T. Cornpone, a man who knew no fear.
For some reason or another, you sounded a little taller on radio.
That little whore makes me feel nine feet tall!
Porsche. It’s a little too small to get laid IN, but you get laid the minute you get out!
I’m gonna take this car, and I’m gonna turn so that I block the whole highway sideways. And when they come, they’re gonna have a choice, either to ditch it, or ram right straight into us.
Fasten yourself in, partner. You ain’t got nothin’ to worry about. I got the nerve, and I got the touch.
Peel out, I just love it when guys peel out.
Pop quiz, hotshot. There’s a bomb on a bus. Once the bus goes 50 miles an hour, the bomb is armed. If it drops below 50, it blows up. What do you do? What do you do?
Pajama party!
Say, Jim. That’s a bad outfit. Whoo!
Fill your hand, you son of a bitch!
Are you watching closely?
Don’t fire until you see the whites.
“Why are their eyes so big?”
“Eyes are the windows to the soul!”
I knew it. Oh, he loves playing the family man, but he never fooled me. Water seeks its own level, and that should leave Ralph bathing somewhere in a sewer.
“I can’t really think of any notable Ralphs.”
“Well, sure… Ralph Macchio. Ralph Lauren. Ralph Kramden.”
Ralph! That name! Remorse! Remorse!
Oh for God’s sakes, you’re such a Cassandra!
Ye Gods!
What an excellent day for an exorcism.