I’m a grandmother and a female and I’ve got my rights. You can bull all the others, but you can’t bull me! I’ve fought whiskey and I’ve fought gambling and I can certainly fight you!
Our fathers came across the prairies, fought Indians, fought drought, fought locusts, fought Dix… remember when Richard Dix came in here and tried to take over this town? Well, we didn’t give up then, and by gum, we’re not going to give up now!
Surrender Dorothy!
From the American commander of Bastogne to the German commander. Nuts. Nuts.
Go suck an egg!
I can eat fifty eggs.
This is the best damn food in the whole Two Pines area. Not surprised you found this place. I had you pegged for a gourmet first time I met you.
You know what makes me really sick to my stomach? Is watching you stuff your face with those hot dogs. Nobody, I mean NOBODY puts ketchup on a hot dog.
“The hot dog and mustard go together.”
“Let 'em go together. I don’t want to spoil any romance.”
Frank, Barry, Carl: [singing with the other sausages] In here, we keep our wieners in our packages. That’s how it is.
Brenda: [singing with the other buns] It sucks, but that’s the way our butts keep fresh and pure. Baby, baby.
Frank, Barry, Carl: But once we’re out the doors, it’s not a sin.
Brenda: For us to let you slip it in.
I say, why don’t you guys locate your dicks, remove the shrink wrap, and fucking use them!
But I’m having a lot of fun trying the opposite approach.
Now that I am here I shall dally in the valley - and, believe me, I can dally.
We at the Hill Valley Preservation Society think it should be preserved exactly the way it is as part of our history and heritage.
GET! [punch] OUT! [punch] OF MY! [punch] VILLAGE! [punch]
You wouldn’t hit a guy with glasses on, would you? Huh?
[Batman punches him]
You love it, don’t you? YOU LOVE TO MAKE ME HIT YOU!
Fuck you, Ike! I’m outta here. You ain’t got to hit me but once!
The first rule of Fight Club is…
The only hit that comes out of a Helen Lawson show is Helen Lawson, and that’s ME, baby, remember?