They’re real, and they’re SPECTACULAR!
I’m… I’m sorry. We’ve already got a George.
In the whole world right now there’s maybe three emergencies. Why would you think on this entire planet that you’re one of those three?
Why does it shrink? I don’t know how you guys walk around with those things.
What kind of a man are you? The guy is unconscious in a coma and you don’t have the guts to kiss his girlfriend?
I didn’t mean anything by it. I don’t even know L. Ron Hubbard! I didn’t know you were…with that group.
I’m not a lesbian. I hate men, but I’m not a lesbian.
The busboy is coming!
And you know whose fault it is? The Jews!
I invented “It’s not you, it’s me”!
If I’m not in front of my building at 6:15 when my parents get there, they’re going to put me on an aggravation installment plan that will compound with interest for decades.
I lie every second of the day. My whole life is a sham.
What are you doing looking at a 15 year old’s cleavage anyway?
Newman: Well, I’m a little offended, Jerry.
Jerry: You’re not a little anything.
You get within fifteen feet of that woman, she’d have her finger on the mace button
He took it out.
Hey! Your Jerry’s friend. You’re goofy, mind if I sit? My show is going really well. Have you seen it yet? You should. Everybody else have and you know what? I got recognized the other day! How weird is that? I know. At first I liked the attention but it’s like Whoa!! take three steps back, get a life, okay? But then there wouldn’t be a Sally Weaver without the fans, know what I mean? But who am I anyway? I mean there’s Sally weaver the woman , Sally Weaver the artist , Sally Weaver the person…
See, that’s the great thing about Mediterranean women.
I can’t go to a bad movie by myself. What, am I gonna make sarcastic remarks to strangers?
NnnnnnnnGiddyup.