I’m almost sure I read one of your posts about this somewhere, but I can’t find it. And, I can’t remember what the issue was. But, the “no act is appropriate” doesn’t ring a bell. Nothing? Not even an apology and a hug?
That’s kind of what I was afraid of, but I didn’t want to say so. It sounds like we needn’t have worried, though.
Sugar in OJ, huh? You must have a real sweet tooth. Here you are.
Hmm - another female swallower checking in. I have to admit that I’ve not read the entire thread, so please forgive me if someone has already mentioned this, but . . . if you can control your gag reflex and run the head all the way to the back of your tongue just as the guy ejaculates everthing just kinda runs right down your throat and you never taste a thing. I’ve found that this works a lot better for me than trying to hold it in my mouth and then swallow, and it sure seems to be pleasant for the menfolks.
I realize this won’t work for everyone, but for anyone who’s willing to try, you can train that gag reflex - I’ve never become as accomplished as a porn star, but I can “deep throat” a little bit . . . I’ve never gotten the breathing technique worked out, so I have to hold my breath to keep from feeling panicky when my nasal passages are blocked. I alternate deep strokes with short strokes to get around that, and I can’t recall any complaints . . .
I don’t get any sort of enjoyment myself from swallowing, but it doesn’t bother me, either. I do it because usually it is obviously much more enjoyable for the guy, not least because of the acceptance it implies - and most guys could hardly wait to kiss me afterwards. shrug
I also don’t get any sexual thrill myself from giving a BJ, but I absolutely love doing something that my partner enjoys so much. Talk about feeling like a wonderful and powerful human being!
However, I’m with Sapphire Wolf a bit on the hands/head thing - I don’t mind fingers through my hair, or head cuddling - but do not put your hand(s) on the back of my head and push! Not only are you destroying my rhythm and making my neck hurt, you’re also risking an unpleasant encounter with teeth. And the end of your lovely BJ, because I will stop. Pushing is rude, anyway; I’m already doing my best to give you a wonderful experience and you’re trying to force me (even gently) into giving you more? Forget it!
If I had a serious relationship going with someone who just couldn’t seem to control themselves on this matter, I think I’d try something a little drastic - like tying his hands behind his back or to a bedpost or something over his head. Problem solved, and a new experience to savor! Heck, you might never cure him of that bad habit. 
Oh, and a suggestion for anyone who wants to improve their technique: it’s best to go straight to the experts. I learned lots of interesting stuff from reading suggestions posted on the internet by gay guys! Who better to get advice from? 
Champagne, please, dear Davebear - my mouth is quite dry for some reason.
And, I’d be one of them. The kissing discussion we had earlier was about sharing the load. That’s something I’ve never done, but I definitely DO want to kiss that wonderful mouth as soon as I can breathe, again.
I believe that was Dolores Claiborne, although other ladies have made the same comment. Personally, I don’t have a problem with that attitude.
Pop! That’s funny; this thread has the opposite effect on me.
Dave you probably saw something in a different thread. Long story short I was horribly misused by my father from the tender age of about 4 until I finally escaped home at 23. My husband patiently taught me that sex can be a beautiful thing. There are some nights though through no fault of his at all that I simply cannot. However a hug and some snuggling are always wonderful. What I mean is no type of sexual contact is possible once I go off the deep end 
All hail coosa, mistress of the BJ.
A bit of a hijack, and perhaps a good topic for another thread. Why don’t more women deep throat? As coosa says, it only takes a little training and anyone can do it. Hell, if there was some sexual technique that was widely desired but rarely given to women I would be all over it. Difficult to do? That is just a reason for more practice.
If I was a gay I would practice on carrots or something till I could do it right. In this day and age odds are that any partner you have will have already done just about everything there is to do, so having something that rare that isn’t some kind of obscure kink would be something I would be all over. Any thoughts from the women who don’t?
I’ve had three partners in this area, and pretty much one from each angle: One who spit, one who swallowed, and one who didn’t finish (although, that had nothing to do with not wanting to, but that’s a whole different story).
For those who ask “How do you spit?” the answer’s simple. If I were to come while she was still going down, my ex would simply open her mouth, pull back, and let it fall where it may. I’m not interested in tasting my own semen, and I don’t really want it all over me, but in situations like this, it’s no big deal. I much rather she do that and stay with me while going through the orgasm than immediately bolt. And despite the fact I have no desire to taste semen, I have absolutely no qualms kissing her afterwards. With all the emotions and everything, how could you NOT want to kiss her? (note: I’m one of those guys who places a lot of emotion to the whole intimacy thing). After this, cuddling generally ensued for a bit, and then as I would clean myself off, it gave her the opportunity to go to the bathroom and wash up as well.
A big thing with her was she really didn’t like it. She liked pleasing me, and the nice feeling that came afterwards with the cuddling and the like, but the actual thing really provided no pleasure for her. At first, it kinda bugged me because of the whole spitting = rejection thing, but eventually, I grew up. After a little talk about it, we got to the point where I would warn her when I would get close, and she’d stop and use her hands. This was problematic for me because, she was the first person I’d really received from, and well…I got off like a rocket. It generally only took her about 20 seconds to get me to the point or climax with oral, but when she would use her hands, I would calm down, and a handjob could take fifteen minutes. So, for all those who say “Just use your hand to help, he can’t tell the difference”, you are SO wrong.
Deepthroating is nice for me because my head is super sensitive. The deeper you go, the nicer it feels, yet the longer it takes to get off. The shaft isn’t as sensitive, but it does feel nice when it gets some attention.
And the big benefit to swallowing is the continued sensation. Most women tend to pull away when they orgasm and just kinda ride it on out, but when a guy’s going off, he needs constant stimulation. (slight hijack: why is this?) That’s the big thing with swallowing, as far as I’m concerned. If you chose to spit, that’s perfectly fine, no matter what your reason. But don’t just ignore it once you pull away.
{{{{{tanookie}}}}} I’m sorry. I hope I didn’t stir up bad memories.
I don’t deep throat… My mouth is pretty small and my gag reflex works a little too well. Considering most of the most sensitive parts of the penis are the head I figure what I can do to it with my tongue is more important that making sure it brushes my tonsils. As Coosa has said it is difficult to breathe and IMHO generally uncomfortable. I’m thinking that this should be as mutually pleasurable for both partners as possible and thus I’ll stick with what works for us
Kind of reminds me of a friend we had in college… he tried to explain that he had a gf who would bring a cup of tea and a glass of ice water to bed so she could alternate between a hot and cold mouth as she blew him. He’s talking like this is the greatest thing in the world and my brain is going what an annoying pain in the butt. If you make something so much work for your partner that it is all clinical concentration you kind of ruin things for both of you.
If the only reason my partner wants to be with me is out of some unique kink then I think it is time to find another partner… but whatever works for you guys… I’m a believer in the two (or more) consenting adults can do whatever floats their boats
Oh I completely agree with you there. By stating my preferences, I was in no way saying it has to be one way or the other. Mutual pleasure is the most important thing. If she doesn’t enjoy it, I don’t push it. Since that first ex, I’ve dated other girls and gotten bj’s that fit my preferences much better, but I would GLADLY give up all that to be with my first ex. All that other stuff is nothing compared to how I felt about her personally and any interraction we shared (plus, in terms of the physical, she really enjoyed receiving, and I really enjoyed giving, so we always had that :))
I have a question.
Any guys out there realize when you’ve hit a girl’s gag reflex? Or does it take her pulling away for you to realize?
Hmm, that’s a good question. I will say that no, I can’t tell. The only time I even thought about it was afterwards when a gf told me about her gaining better control over her gag reflex, and that it was hardly triggering anymore. I was thinking, wow, I never even realized it had triggered before… and that was early on in the relationship. I never asked her about it again, so either it didn’t happen anymore or I still didn’t notice it.
Possibly ignorant and thread-hijacking question of my own: what is there to notice, other than the obvious extreme gagging or pulling away (which never happened in my case, except maybe once I did notice a slight gag)? Am I incredibly unobservant, or are the “warning” signs pretty subtle?
In regards to the rest of this thread, I’ve only had one gf that didn’t swallow, and I didn’t think twice about it at the time as it was my first gf, and I didn’t know anything else. And as for the mouth vs. hand debate, personally I like her to finish without using her hand at all sometimes, and sometimes only with her hand, just for variety’s sake (I can’t say I prefer one feeling over the other, honestly). Swallowing does feel like a much more intimate act to me, though, than any other method. I suppose it’s really more about variety and surprise for me than any one technique. Anything starts feeling boring after awhile, so if it’s swallowing sometimes, spitting, hands, whatever, it’s all good as long as it gets mixed up and keeps me guessing
This thread just goes on and on lol… I am learning so much! Who said the net wasn’t educational huh? 
Honestly, I didn’t talk to Mr Wolf until after I made my first posts. And even then, it almost didn’t happen.
For me, it’s very difficult to talk about sex, and any likes or dislikes associate with it. I would much rather just lay there and stare at the ceiling the whole time than actually talk about it.
And I know better - Mr Wolf is always encouraging me to open up to him.
No worries dave… I’m mostly sane now I’ve actually made the best progress by telling people my story. Makes it less of a shameful secret!
Poor Rhino… you’ve learned all this neat stuff and your fella is on the wrong side of the ocean!
I don’t think most guys would notice they hit the gag reflex unless the girl stopped or vomited on them… I would think he’d be kinda lost in his own little world. Just MHO
I have often noticed the gag reflex. It usually means an out-of-place tightening and a slight coughing sound. If she completely controls it there is nothing to notice, but it has been obvious when she has been at her limit.
Depwnds on my mood - mostly swallow but if I am not in the mood, I make it a visual thing for him letting it flow all over me. They like that too, then you can just wipe it with a towel or tissue…
I must buy the wrong tissues… If I tried to clean that up with a tissue it would require half a box and there would be little shredded tissue fluff stuck to awkward places.
I prefer to take a shower first and hang the damp towels on the footboard. Then when it is clean up time I have a cool damp towel to soothe warm places and I have an extra towel to share.
Yeah, he’s probably your next door neighbour !!! 
That would be too funny Rhino’sHoney!
And a really small world!
You were lucky to find such a generous woman.
Dude! 20 seconds?
Yep. I’m with ya, there.