It started off well enough. Friday night, a few folks met after dinner and stayed up 'til the wee hours (I wasn’t there and can’t give details). Saturday afternoon, Inertia and Gaudere showed up at my house, and we went to the hotel where most folks were staying. We got together with Valerie and went on the Lincoln Home tour. Then we met a bunch of the other folks and hung out in ChrisCTP’s hotel room.
It was during dinner that all hell broke loose.
I was sitting next to ChrisCTP on one side, and GL Wasteful on the other side, with Gaudere across from me, Inertia next to her and UncleBeer on the other side. We were in a semi-private area of the restaurant, but there were windows behind us. We didn’t think much of it – but we should have.
Remember how Newton’s Apple claimed he’d bought tickets to Springfield and we laughed him off? Well…
The windows shattering behind us was the first clue that something was wrong. Gunfire sprayed the area. As I had said before, I used MPSIMS people as shields for myself and Gaudere. ChrisCTP went down immediately. Inertia, who was completely drunk out of his mind by that time, didn’t even realize that Gaudere had used him as a shield until it was too late. We ducked under the table as Valerie and Auraseer (who didn’t see it coming) weren’t quick enough and took more of the bullets apparently meant for Gaudere and I.
It all ended almost as quickly as it had begun. Newton’s Apple took off on foot, and last I heard, the police had not yet caught him. The final count was four dead (luckily, all MPSIMSers), Boli and Alphagene were injured, and UncleBeer lost two bottles of beer. You’ll all be happy to know that the moderators are ok, though.
We will be having special services for the deceased here on the board. In lieu of flowers please send donations to the First Church of David B. It’s what they would have wanted.
Right now this is right beside the “Springfield live!” topic. Serendipity, anyone?
So Newton’s Apple didn’t show, and neither did Phaedrus with a check, hmmm? Soooo, it was a nonviolent but raucous event in the Home of Lincoln, right? And UncleBeer was the quasi-responsible party dealing with the hotel dicks? Either he’s a hopeless fraud or a savvy Doper guru-on-the-mount.
Let’s see, when we left this saga, Alpha was putting the moves on Boli (both of 'em naked in a hotel window), Chris was nursing the drunk, incoherent and insane (most of the gathering), Flyp had mysteriously disappeared with an alluring stranger and David B. was in the flat, sodium-illuminated parking lot of a prarie Kwik Mart shouting, “Hey, Newton’s Apple, want a piece of me? Huh? Do ya, punk?”
I’m printing this thread, and taking it with me to the Toledo DopeStock. Since nobody died at the Michigan gathering, apparently we just weren’t partying hard enough. I’ll see to it that we do it right next time.
Changing my sig, because Wally said to, and I really like Wally, and I’ll do anything he says, anytime he says to.
I don’t have much time…he’ll be coming back soon. I’ve jumped on Newton’s computer while he’s away and I need help! All I remember is jumping under the table when the window shattered and then screaming and shots and then being rolled up in some kind of rug and somebody was running with me. Oh no! He’s coming back! No! Put down that knife! No! Don’t cut that! Helppppppparrghhhhhh
…
When are you going to realize being normal isn’t necessarily a good thing?
