Stereotype yourself!

In My Humble Opinion
61

I’m female, so I am weak and helpless and in need of a big strong man to rescue me!

I’m bisexual with a boyfriend, which means I only SAY I like girls just so boys will think I’m hot.

I’m a goth, which means I sit locked in my room dressed like Robert Smith while blaring Nine Inch Nails writing poetry about how much the world sucks and how everyone’s a sheep (while ignoring the fact that I am too) and how much I want to commit violent crimes/eliminate myself.

I’m an ex-Southern Baptist, which means I’m going to hell with the Catholics.

I’m Native American, which means I want to rape and pillage the white man. Well…maybe the first IS true.

I’m also Irish, which has already been covered.

62

I’m a poet AND a musician, which means I am either Jim Morrison or a prententious asshole. Wait a second…I think I was just redundant.

63

What a fantastic mental image with which to start the day.
fans self

64

Great thread!

Hmmm I am Swedish. So I hunt down moose and try to avoid the polarbears walking the streets. Oh and is a tall blond with blue eyes.(well ok but I am not blond!)
(bleh, this is not very good but I just don’t know what “ignorant” things people say of swedes. Feel free to inform me:) )

I study computer science. Therefore I know ALL about computers including the ability to build them scratch and haxxoring the great big web.

I am a gym rat. Vain,wieghs atleast 100 kg, takes steriods and injects oil into my muscles to swell them. (It’s true! There are actually people who do that and some have been killed by it.)

I am a socialist. Which means I am also a marxist, communist and the rest.

I am a ateist. No morals at all!

65

I am <b>a teenage male</b>: I can’t cook, can’t clean, and won’t get out of my chair for anything less than a blowjob or dinner. I’d rather live off boxes than furnishings, and ritualistically go to the pub to discuss football and how many birds I’ve shagged. I leave the toilet seat up and hate my mum.

I am <b>British</b>: I am the consummate tea drinker, with appalling teeth and a penchant for crumpets. I am polite but constantly suffering from an inferiority complex due to the loss of our wonderful empire. I hate all Americans on principle.

I live in <b>Lincolnshire</b>, as a foxhunting farmer in a green moth-eaten cardigan. I’m quite happy living in my backwater dimension, and refuse to modernise. I like to ask the Government for subsidies to keep myself alive since I don’t have any concept of economics.

I play the <b>piano</b>: I have one ear, long straggly hair and will commit suicide by the time I’m twenty four. I may be prone to random acts of violence and exhibit chronic obsessive-compulsive disorder. I scream with searing flesh at the thought of modern day pop songs.

I play the <b>descant recorder</b>: I am in primary school.

I play the <b>treble recorder</b>: I am in secondary school.

I play the <b>clarinet</b>: I am in secondary school and sexually frustrated.

I play <b>golf</b> as I am thirty six and in a middle management job, hopelessly sucking up to the company executives. I take out my frustration on golf balls since I am too unfit to play any REAL sport, but end up losing half a dozen every round and can’t help but imagine it’s representative of my social failings, (which, incidentally, have probably resulted from playing golf too much).

Both my <b>parents still live at home</b> but that’s because they’re teenagers and haven’t moved out yet.

I like <b>cats</b>. I’m effeminate.

I’m going to <b>Cambridge</b> so I’m a public school educated yah-saying toff who gets screwed by his college master on a daily basis. Daddy is a industrialist billionaire and I am set to inherit three quarters of Northumberland and a half dozen butlers upon his imminent demise. My Maurice Lacroix watch is worth more than your car, and I make plebians get off the street for me if I’m in the mood for sport. Yes, I do know Prince William, although we don’t speak since he’s at St. Andrews (snort snort). There are impurities in my lineage.

I’m studying <b>Philosophy</b> because I wanted to pick the waster degree with the least lectures. I’ll never come to any conclusions about any argument (but will disagree with and destroy anything you say if you dare to have an opinion). I can often be found wandering the streets at 2am, wailing about the futility of life and swigging red wine from the bottle.

I like <b>anime</b> and thus I’m into tentacle rape and porn, existing on the outskirts of society like some jewel-eyed monster obsessed with rending the flesh from small babies and exhuming their fetid souls. I wear black and play advanced dungeons and dragons down at the comic shop.

I like <b>Hello Kitty</b> and am a twelve year old girl who wears crop-tops and strappy shoes, whilst bouncing around the park all footloose and fancy-free.

I was born on the <b>Autumnal Equinox</b>. I am a druid.

–

Love this thread!! Oh, and uh, hi. : D

-James

66

Oops. Didn’t spot the restrictions and left it as HTML. Sorry!! Newbie foolishness.

67

Cutting out most of the needless repeats…

I’m an introvert, so I have no social skills and may someday climb a tower and start shooting.

I don’t actively pursue girls, so I’m either gay, painfully shy, or have a shamefully small penis.

I don’t have mainstream tastes in much of anything, so I’m a wannabe-hipster who’s just out to be cooler than everyone else; I don’t actually like those stupid foreign films or tuneless music.

I don’t wear flashy or fashionable clothes, so I’m worthless and clueless nerd.

I don’t laugh much, so I have no sense of humor.

I’m a political science major, which means I’m a campus activist who will never find a job.

I’m a Chinese major, so… What do they say about us, anyway? Jobless wonders?

68

:eek:

Hope my parents are in the other quarter! :smiley:
Welcome to the boards!

69

At risk of being unoriginal…
I’m of Irish descent, so
-I get drunk all the time which makes me a) dance funny and b) violent
-I spend most of my life in Confession
-I donate the bulk of my paycheck to arm the IRA
-I can’t eat any food with flavor

I’m American, so
-I think everyone whould learn English, and have no interested in other languages or cultures
-I’m rich, fat, lazy and self-centered
-I only care about my own bottom line

I’m female, so
-I’m emotionally unstable, and
-physically weak.
-I eat vast quantities of chocolate
-I read trashy romance
-I get incredibly moody for two weeks of the month

I’m agnostic, so

  • I’m ripe for conversion by the first religion that comes along
  • I’m too chicken to actually be atheist

I’m single, so

  • I’m cold, and
  • unattractive, and
  • man-hating

I have short hair and glasses, so
-I’m a nerd, and
-a lesbian (since we just established I was a man-hater), and
-dog ugly

I majored in Biology, so

  • I want to be a doctor, and if I’m not, I’m just not smart enough
  • I’m a geeky lab rat with no social skills (see: Single)
  • I like to cut up and torture live animals, and the smell of formaldehyde turns me on
70

Well, let’s start out with:

I’m male, so I am bent on sex with anything that has a vagina and many things that don’t.

I’m an English Major, so I have no discernible academic skills short of writing five page papers that say absolutely nothing. Also I am almost certainly a freak/not straight (er…).

I’m bisexual, and since I’m male that means I’m actually gay and am only saying I’m bi as a transition to being gay. It also means I desire nothing other than one-night stands and orgies and I am devoid of taste, morals, and am actually incapable of having a monogamous relationship (close to this I’ve actually encountered being promulgated on this board).

I was born in California, so I’m a suuuuuuuurferrrrrr, duuuuuuude.

I live in Virginia, so I’m a hick what don’t know how to spell ner use proper grammarizatiation. And when I go to family reunions only half of us are there, or something (because we’re all horribly inbred).

I was Catholic and raised such, so I am sexually prudish and believe sexual intercourse is a sacred institution that should only be entered into once a couple (a heterosexual couple, or at least a non-homosexual one) is married. And I believe birth control is one of the greatest evils there is.

I am NOW an agnostic theist, which means I can’t make up my mind and don’t like any organized religion and further think they are evil.

I have long hair so I must be a girl.

And that’s not even addressing my EuroMutt nationality…

71

I also speak French, which I obviously learned solely to woo unsuspecting American women when I pretend to be from France.

I’m both German and French and as such am forever surrendering to myself. I also drink my weight daily and am fat, a jackass, a wispy thing who drinks wine all day, smelly like a corpse … the list goes on.

I’m Irish and Scottish, so add to all that drinking and I’ll have cirrhosis of the liver before I turn 30.

I’m part … well, I don’t know the tribe names, but I’m part indigenous person (or whatever it’s being called these days) on both sides of my family, so I am a bitter injun who wants nothing more than to get back at the evil Paleface for bringing smallpox and firewater to his peaceful land. And I’m also barbaric and ride a horse all day shooting cowboys in the head and scalping them. Or something.

I have no qualms gaming all day, so that must be what I do. And I have no social skills, am paler than a glass of milk, and can barely pick up more than a pair of dice. I own an original copy of “D&D jokes” and have it signed by my original DM. I also carry a pocket copy of the latest monster guide (or whatever they’re calling it now). I also have a face that is scabby and pimply because I don’t wash it ever, and I eat pizza and drink beer all day (partly because I am a college student). I wear glasses taped up and I have a collection of neon pocket protectors.

Oh! I went to boarding school, so pretentious is my middle name. And I am fabulously wealthy and am Bernard Peebles Whittington IV, esq. I plan to be a corporate law lawyer for a multinational import/export company by the time I’m 30. My wife will actually have an affair with a Latino poolboy and we will have 2.4 trophy children and a dog who can fit in my briefcase. We will take vacations to hotels the size of small African nations, where I will meet my latest “secretary” for nights of hot, passionate (for me, anything that lasts more than a minute qualifies) sex, after which I will guzzle bottles of liquor and martinis while my “secretary” steals thousands of dollars from under my nose.

And since I’m Crazy Internet Guy, the only reason I go online is to prey on young children who don’t know that I shouldn’t be doing that.

72

Most of mine have been covered, but a few more:
I am Mormon, so I am from Utah, vote straight ticket Republican, and look down at other religions;
I attend the University of Notre Dame, so I’m an upper-middle class Midwestern Catholic whose favorite pastimes are studying and getting drunk;
I am from the state of New York, so I’m from New York City.

73

I want to be an <B>Anthropologist</B>, which means I like to view the rest of the human race as animals in their natural habitat.

74

I want to be an <B>Anthropologist</B>, which means I like to view the rest of the human race as animals in their natural habitat.

75

i’m Italian- i’m fat and i have a huge nose, i yell at my significant other and cause great pain to people, and they often seem to fall on icepicks several times after having made me angry

i’m Goth- i wear all black and hate myself and everyone else, i have slices all over my wrist and i write poetry about dying, i have black hair and black lipstick and black eyeliner and some huge boots from Hot Topic

i’m pagan- i think i’m trendy and new age and i don’t want to conform to what other peopel say because i just HAVE to be different… oh, and i also have no idea what i’m talking about and i think i’m a witch or something

i’m a dork- i wear black rimmed glasses and spend hours upon hours online complaining about html and javascript errors, i’m shy and i have zits everywhere and i have really really good websites, let’s just hope they don’t see what i really look like

i’m bisexual- i tell people this over and over because i think it makes me cool, i act like i like chicks for attention and i, again, have no idea what i’m talking about

i’m a poet- i wear peasant shirts and flowy skirts all the time, not to mention those sandals and those black turtle necks, i make no sense whatsoever and noone unerstands me, i must write…

i’m a good student- i think i’m so smart and i get upset if i get below an 92 on a test, i often cry when i don’t get A’s on all my little projects and i hate people when they make higher than i do, vote for me for class president!!!

that was kind of fun :slight_smile: (notice the faces, i really am a dork wink)

76

I:

am Male: actively keeping women subjugated
am Caucasian: actively keeping (N. American) minorities subjugated
am American: actively keeping other nationalities subjugated

am a liberal: a self-loathing contrarian who despises others for having traditional values or being successful

am a Midwesterner: unsophisticated, backwards and unassertive
am a designer: fashion-conscious, progressive and egotistical

drive an old beat-up car: poor, most likely work in an unskilled labor-type job

can dance, listen to women, like art & foreign films, hate sports: clearly homosexual

77

I am:

Heavily tattooed: I am an unemployable plebian loser, with the I.Q. of a bowl of gravy.

a Lawyer (well, soon-to-be lawyer, I hope): I am a slick money grubbing amoral leech with the ethical capacity of a bowl of gravy.

a Texan: I am a death-penalty favoring republican, an anti-intellectual who talks much too loud, and I eat nothing but chicken fried steak, with a bowl of gravy.

a Bowl of Gravy: yummy, yummy gravy!

78

Well, I just registered to do this.

I’m <B>Tall, Dark, Handsome, 16, Can be Charming and Male</B> which therefore means I am a stud (slut) and therefore have fucked a double digit amount of women.

I am a <B>Virgin</B> which means I am a loser who can’t get laid.

I look <B>Older for my age and have a beautiful mother who looks younger for her age and I play with my baby brother on the street</b> which therefore means I am going out with the woman who is actually my mother and is the father of my brother (and my mother is not my mother and my brother is not my brother) (To tell you the truth, we have been asked this of times when my father isn’t around, so its the truth)

I go to <B>An International Private School</B> and is therefore a lucky, snooty, and rich bastard who smokes dope all day who is a sad little rich boy.

I have the blood relationship of a <B>Persian, Arabic, British, Spanish, Irish, French, Scott, West Canadian and Meiti</B> (a tribe of native indians), which therefore means that I am a womanizing, alcholic, islamic fanatic, prude, US hater, canada hater, british hater, irish hater, quebec annoyed, sex crazed , polite, inpolite, kilt wearing, sexist, racist, vicitimits prone and celtic music listening male. (talk about a paradox)

I <B> Use the computer too much</b>. So I am therefore a computer geek, who is slighty autistic, smells funny, looks unkempt, and have no social skills. (All of that was partly true several years ago, execpt the autistic part.

I dont really have more to say.

79

Yuppie.

Sure, my income is typical for a mid-level urban planner, I disdain yuppie values and attitudes, and I’m definitely not a “trixie.” However, there’s plenty of evidence to support my yuppiedom.

  1. I own not just one, but two Portuguese Water Dogs. Rare breed dogs, especially cute, trendy rare breed dogs that typically cost about as much as an HDTV set, were a yuppie thing when I was living in Denver. I got 'em because they’re medium-sized, very intelligent, have what I feel is an ideal temprement, and the don’t shed. If I got the other breed that meets those qualifications, Standard Poodles, I’d be rendered a flamboyant, swishy homosexual.

  2. I live alone in a nice suburban neighborhood, in a 2,000 square foot house which has a pool in the backyard. What seems like too much house for one person implies a high income, even though my mortgage payments aren’t much more than the monthly rent for a nice two bedroom apartment.

  3. My refrigerator is filled with microbrewed beer. Beer snob = yuppie.

  4. My home entertainment system consists mainly of audiophile components. Stereo equipment brands nobody has ever heard of = yuppie.

  5. The majority of the furniture in my house is mission style, most of it solid oak. Mission style furniture = expensive = yuppie.

Now, following the rules everyone else is following …

  1. I’m a mid-30s single male living alone in the suburbs, which makes me gay, strange, and/or a child molestor.

  2. I’m a liberal, which means I’m a humorless, unpatriotic left-wing vegan commie who believes in reparations, mandatory abortions, Wicca, and the fact that “America deserved what it got on September 11.”

  3. I’m a closet computer geek, which makes me a pear-shaped, balding, hygenically challenged hacker who knows the lines to every Monty Python movie and television episode, engages in role play gaming at the drop of a four-sided die, knows every little bit of trivia that there is to know about every aspect of science fiction, collects comic books, lives on a diet of delivery pizza and Jolt Cola, and is still a virgin.

  4. I’m heterosexual, which makes me a dull, droll, extremely religous person who doesn’t know how to dress, dance or decorate his aforementioned 2,000 square foot house.

  5. I drive a Volkswagen Passat with “Florida - State of the Arts” plates, which makes me a very preppy, tall, well-built and well-postured gay male, with a boyfriend named “Brent” that is pretty much my clone when it comes to appearance, mannerisms and dress.

  6. I have AD/HD, which means that a) I don’t have it, because it doesn’t exist, or b) use it as an excuse for any mistakes I make either at work or in my personal life, bounce off the walls, talk at about 300 words a minute while covering five different subjects and sell my meds to high school kids for $10 a pill so they can chop it into powder and get a cheap high.

  7. I live in Florida, which means that I’m about 112 years old.

80

I’m female and therefore am a slave to my wildly vacillating emotions, which are a direct function of what my hormones are doing to me on given day

I’m single and therefore can’t get, or don’t know how to keep a man, or I’m a bloodless money grubbing ice queen

I’m tall therefore, I must have played basketball, at least in high school

I dress nicely therefore, I’m high maintenance, have thousands on my credit card to finance clothes, take ages in the morning, and am afraid of breaking a nail or getting dirty

I am an animal lover and therefore must want to be a veterinarian.

I’m a horseperson therefore I wear only boots and Wrangler’s, know how to rope a cow, drive a large pickup truck, and listen exlusively to Garth Brooks and the Dixie Chicks

I have two cats so I must be an eccentric recluse with no social skills, who must resort to substituting animals for human company

I’m a graduate student so I’m obviously a geek who does nothing but study, and shows up to teach labs wearing Birkenstocks and tie-died shirts. In my spare time, I debate current events at coffee houses with fellow grad students.

I eat tofu so I therefore must be a raging vegetarian who insists that all food that passes my lips be certified organic free-range lettuce

My parents are hippies and therefore my name is moonflower. I began smoking pot at the age of twelve, and my biggest wish is that I’d been present at Woodstock.

I’m from Oregon, so I’m either a hippie or a logger. I wear flannel and hiking boots, though sometimes I wear Tevas. I smoke pot, windsurf, and live solely on espresso, microbrews, and smoked salmon.

I spend a lot of time online and am therefore “one of those creepy internet people.” OK, that’s true. You never know when you might meet someone like ME out there… buwahahahahaha!!