I knew a guy who went on vacation down to the coast. He was meeting up some other guys to go out cruising, eating and bar hopping. So they leave his car in the far corner of a Walmart parking lot. Right under a streetlight. Guess which streetlight was the favorite roost of hundreds of seagulls? They said the car looked like it had a couple 5 gallon buckets of seagull shit dumped on it. The fact the guy was almost OCD when it came to his car just made it even worse. Or funnier depending on your point of view.
Get a spray bottle of auto detailer and a couple micro-fiber hand towels and keep them with you. The detailing spray is like a weak wax and will take the bird crap off and restore your wax. It is also great for wiping spots off your car. There are many brands to choose from.
It’s what people who drive their cars to car shows use to take off any road grime they picked up on the way and polish the car quickly. It’s just spray and wipe. You may have to let it soak into the crap for a bit to loosen it up.
I always have a bottle in my car.