Are you Fenris? I know I’m not, but if you are, you’ll fit right in here. Act on your natural urge to make songs funnier and post the results here.
Are you a lesser-known parodist currently using the SDMB? Then use this thread like I will, as an excuse to put your parody efforts in front of the Teeming Millions.
Are you trying to kill me and eat my brains? If you are, hie yourself to the nearest police station, you weirdo!
My first effort for this thread:
<Church Lady>
Well, isn’t that special!!
</Church Lady>
(to the tune of Desperado)
Avacado,
Why don’t you stop acting holy,
You’re just guacamole…
(that’s as far as I got…I AM at work, you know!)
How long…how long must we eat Ding Dongs?
How long…how long…
'cause we can eat hot fudge tonight…etc.
Sundae Hot Fudge Sundae
Sundae Hot Fudge Sundae
Sundae Hot Fudge Sundae
Derleth - You don’t actually say, but I’m assuming your poem can be sung to “If I had a Million Dollars” by barenakedladies?
Well, duh! I guess if I had actually read your post I would have figured out that these are parodies, not poems. Carry on with you lives, folks. Don’t mind the clueless guy watching in the corner.
[Voice of Somewhat Venerated Kenny Rogers]
Promise me, son, that you’ll bite your woman’s buns,
Wear a two-day stubble when you can.
Folks won’t think yer queer if you’ll have another beer,
Damn right you got to drank to be a man.
[/ Voice of Much Less Venerated Kenny Rogers]
–Nott
Black pants let everyone know you have a cat.
Here’s one, sung to a tune by Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers.
I’m a good guy
Love the outdoors
But Jesus what I go through
It is springtime, lousy with pollen
If I dare breathe, I then go achoo.
It’s a long day mainlining Claritin
There’s five feet of pollen in the yard
I’ve got adenoids coming out my eardrums
And my sinuses are filled up with lard.
(Chorus)
And I sneeeeeeeeeeeeeze
Sneeze pollen
Yeah I sneeeeeeeeeeeeze
Sneeze pollen
I got tissue, stuffed in my pocket
Got a hanky wadded up in my hand.
Then I breathe in, get a snoot full of pollen
Sneeze my nose off half way to Holland
(Chorus)
And I sneeeeeeeeeeeeeze
Sneeze pollen
Yeah I sneeeeeeeeeeeeze
Sneeze pollen
Well, the title does say “…and Poetry”, so.
I wrote the following during week three or so in a class on Ezra Pound’s work. (It will make absolutely no sense to anyone who doesn’t know his <i>Cantos</i>, but did make the professor laugh far harder than I’d ever expected, so that was cool.)
Canto AIEEE
And battering cushioned walls,
Sinews siege-engined, raved ranted of
Buried gods and buried dogs
Fallen dreams, fallen grace,
Fallen arches, glowering face
Overhauling paideumas with vitriol, so
“Don’t walk out on me! No one walks out on me!
“Not even me!”
“Acid of sulphur” to consume loam
Non-terrae completion of gall, see
Sea gull wheeling over that swart ship
why over why
Usury
Usura
Usu ra ha ha ha ha ha ha…
For the love of
99 waddles of verse on the wall
99 waddles of verse*
tsrb
Hell,
In the end…
Me duele la cabeza
Bork! bork! bork!
y mis ojos están wigged out
Take one down
And Cabestan enfolds Hotspur as Odin
(for chaos-apple KALLISTI, cursed creature belly in dust)
I.N.R.I suspends self from Ygg
And Hero’s stony tears fell through (drip drop drip) vacillations of the old Ham
And Puck’s face was really not
where it should have (anatomically speaking)
Been, and best not to dwell on
Effects on digestion, and we won’t mention
The toothbrush
Et ergo:
There are several examples of the work you seek here. Too bad Euty closed the thread. I tend to work better with a subject. Suggestions are welcome.
Wise men say
Only fools rush in
But I can’t help
Filling a glove with poo.
Sadly, most of these go over my head - I don’t listen to current popular music, or even recent popular music. Ah well, I’m sure your parodies are all quite clever…
I thought about writing the Turbulence Song:
I’m heavin’ on a jet plane…
For Fairy Chat Mom
The Turbulence Song
I hate planes, it’s not the goodbye.
But the turbulence and lack of quality porn.
And the processed food, especially the corn,
Already I’m so queasy I could cry.
So don’t giggle or laugh at me,
As I barf like a bumblebee,
Hold my hair and never let it go.
'Cause I’m heaving on a jet plane
Oh my god my lunch is back again -
Oh Babe, I hate to retch.
There’s so many times I’ve blown my chunks,
So many times I’ve lost my lunch,
Me and the porcelain God are real good friends.
Every place I fly, I’ll start to spew,
If you don’t duck, it’ll get on you,
When I land the whole ordeal finally ends.
So don’t giggle or laugh at me,
As I barf like a bumblebee,
Hold my hair and never let it go.
'Cause I’m heaving on a jet plane
Oh my god my lunch is back again -
Oh Babe, I hate to retch.
Now the time has come for me to barf,
And wipe my face off with a scarf,
Then close my eyes, and start to pray.
Dream about the landing strip
When my mouth will cease to drip
When my urge to hurl is put at bay …
So don’t giggle or laugh at me,
As I barf like a bumblebee,
Hold my hair and never let it go.
'Cause I’m heaving on a jet plane
Oh my god my lunch is back again -
Oh Babe, I hate to retch.
welby, I’m touched. And slightly sickened, but touched nonetheless.
In honor of Polycarp, after getting fed up with the harmony of Mozart’s Ave Verum, I was driven to lament to our church organist, Abby:
Abby, Abby wo-on’t yo-ou help me?
I don’t know the alto li-ine at all!
FYI, The lyrics as written start:
Ave, ave ve-eru-um corpus
Natum de Maria Vi-irgine
Geeky enough for ya?
CJ
A song composed on a long ago Saturday night about a restaurant owner whose restaurant we frequented for Sunday hangover brunch. (Name changed to protect me.)
To the tune of Build Me Up, Buttercup…
So why do you fill me up, Larry Beck baby with that Sunday brunch?
That breakfast and lunch combination oh, how I love it so Larry oh you make me melt.
Oh I want some smelt.
I need you, more than anyone Larry, you know that I have from the start.
So fill me up, Larry Beck don’t break my heart.
ba-dum-ba-dum
Oh I’ll be over at ten knockin’ on your window again, hey hey Larry, oh won’t ya let me in?
When you’re tending bar how I wish from afar you’ll make my Strawberry Daquiri.
Hey, hey, hey
Oh Larry, Larry, you’re such a man
If you can’t do it nobody can
I’ll be home wavin’ that chicken bone, wavin’ at you*
Larry Beck, Larry Beck
So why do you fill me up…
“*Larry Beck” actually waved to us once with a chicken bone.
Well what I like to do is change all the pronouns in a song around so that they refer to me. Like so. Ahem.
I love me, I love me
And where I go I follow, I follow
I’ll always be my true love, my true love
From now until forever, forever
I will follow me…
Or how about this, Fern?
*I’m just too good to be true,
Can’t take my eyes off of me
I’m just like heaven to touch
Everyone loves me so much
At long last I have arrived
Everyone thanks God I’m alive
I’m just to good to be true,
Can’t take my eyes off of me.
I love me ba-aa-aaby…*
All right! Everyone all together now!