I like this. And Ed will never be the person at the other end of the line.
Willthekittensurvive? will be played by Antonio Banderas in his puss in boots suit!
Robin Williams is the perfect choice for Super Kapowzler.
I was putting out feelers to Meryl Streep’s people for the role of Ellen Cherry, but it appears Karen Allen has already been cast. She needs to wear the dress from the desert tent in Indiana Jones. With the snake heels.
I will, of course, be portrayed by the Panda from Kung-Fu Panda, yet voiced by James Earl Jones.
eta: Czarcasm can be played by Jaleel White.
Opalcat will be played by the hottest blonde bombshell in the business today.
For verisimilitude.
I, VunderBob, will be portrayed by Mark Knopfler on steroids. Mostly because I’ve always wanted to play guitar, and can’t.
Paul Lynde of Hollywood Squares vintage would be an excellent choice for SwampBear.
Judy Tenuta as FairyChatMom.
Gates McFadden in her ST:TNG prime as AnyRose.
Two thumbs up for this.
I’d like to be portrayed by Nathan Fillion, if he can manage to play quieter and less charming.
Ministryman will be played by Al Sharpton…ahahahahahahahahaha
Kate Winslet should play Olivesmarch4th. And Samuel L. Jackson is perfect for Skald the Rhymer. Accept no substitute!
With all due respect, dearest, that is silliness. I am an ageless spirit of malice and ice cream; it is as impossible for a mortal to impersonate me as it is for your ilk to look upon my true form without being destroyed. Even my wife must don goggles ere we mate.
OK. Marty Feldman it is, then. 
The 747 will play itself, with Blue Man Group in the role of “Treadmill”.
I shall be played by an actual dung beetle; however if that is not possible, I would also accept Sofia Vergara or Pee Wee Herman.
Call Weird Al’s agent and see if he will consent to play Vinyl Turnip!
lieu, of course, will be played by Fred Flintstone. Either that or Bruce Campbell.
This is ridiculously fun. Tom Cruise should portray Argent Towers. Wilfrid Brimley should play samclem, obviously.
Athena should be played by Julia Child. It’s only right.
I don’t know who that is, and I don’t know how to use Google or IMDB or Wikipedia or Yahoo!, but I sense nonetheless that I am being mocked. The usual threats.
A pointless gesture.
Everyone knows that the goggles, they do nothing.
In your defense, her choice of a dead actor to portray you is rather low. You should be portrayed by a living actor everyone has heard of. Like Tom Green. Or Andy Dick.