Well… if you both drive, you could always run into him. 
saramamalana, if I remember correctly from that recent “Doper flirting” thred on MPSIMS, you seem really cool and you’re adorably cute, so I wouldn’t worry or stress at all.
If you’ve talked to the guy a few times, you could always just drop something like “You know, I’ve been wondering when you’ll finally get around to asking me out.” Because I’m shy, I always feel like girls get hit on by guys constantly, and I usually hesitate to ask them out because I don’t want to be one more asshole bothering them. Of course, I’ve blown a lot of opportunities that way. That said, I love it when the girl takes a bit of initiative early on, and flirts with me. Of course, it doesn’t happen often enough.
Thanks for the input so far.
Jimmy Chitwood, what you said does make a lot of sense, and I’m clearly not the only one agreeing with you.
Boobs - check. Bimbo - not so much. 
Yknow, that’s a really good point, and I never thought of it that way. It does put things into perspective.
Aww shucks. FWIW, tho, I’ve never asked a guy out, usually because I like people I can’t have (there was even a drunk thread on it!). I’m also the girl who never gets the guy.
I’m taking what you’ve all said to heart (except for the sage words of Sisyphus’ Stone). I’m not sure if I should feel D out a little bit more to make sure I’m getting the right signals. Oh and as far as single, I did check with another server and he said yes he thinks so. As far as straight, I’m pretty sure but I’ve been wrong before! However when I asked my server friend if D was single, I’d like to think he would’ve said “oh but he’s gay” if that were the case.
I’ve always noticed two or three signs a gal can give me to show she’s interested:
- Not running away waving her arms hysterically
- Lack of high-pitched screams
- My wife is looking daggers at her
Of course, these sort of signs take a sensitive and observant guy to notice.
Girl checking in here.
Get a copy of your local “weekend” or alternative newspaper (one that lists concerts and museum openings, etc.) Find something you want to do that would be even cooler with him. Read it at the shop and ask him what he’s doing this weekend.
If he says, “aw, nothing, maybe playing some video games”, then you say “well, there’s this awesome [insert cool thing here] on Saturday… you wanna go?”.
If that’s too bold, invite him out with a group of friends. “My roommate and I are playing pool tonight, would you like to join us?” Make sure you do go out with friends even if he doesn’t join you. I made this mistake a few times… just leads to a sad single girl.
Invite him as a friend. If he goes, flirt like a madwoman. If not, you just have one fewer friend out with you that night.
That’s how I met my Ardred. We worked together and I invited him to every roommate get together and party we had (which was every night at that time in my life… whoo). We’ve been together two and a half years.
Good luck! (and keep us posted!)
bump
Update.
Okay last week when I went, the night that prompted me to start the thread, it was fair to say there was flirting. I went back two days later (on the other night he works) to pick up some dessert to go for game night at a friend’s house. I had intended to do a bit of flirting except that there were like 80 people around and my spot was blown, as the saying goes.
Fast forward to tonight. I went with one of the same friends as last week and with another friend who hadn’t been there. I sat up front by where D works but he was so busy when we got there that I didn’t get a hello from him for a while. Once it quieted down I did go over to say hello and chat for a few and that was nice.
It was my goal tonight to do some sort of information exchange, but the flirting wasn’t really there…in fact there wasn’t much communication because it got busy again so there wasn’t much opportunity. My friend said that asking for his email address was a copout, and if I was going to do something I should go full force and ask for a phone number but I wasn’t feeling brave enough. We later agreed that it wasn’t a good night to try for anything because it just wasn’t there. My friends left because they had a long drive back but I decided to stick around in hopes of chatting up D.
Not so much. I called over F, the waiter who confirmed for me that D is single, to sit with me. He reassured me that D is single and straight. I proceeded to whine and moan about how I don’t know what to do and I feel like such a loser, and then apologizing to F about what a loser I’m being. 
F offered to drop some hints for me, so yay that. Then F decides he’s gonna clock out and go home, so I’m left trying to chat with D again. D comes around the side of the counter that I’m on and I said “step over here a sec. Do you have an email address or screen name?” And he said yes email address, and I took out my little notepad and wrote it down. I said something like “I didn’t get to talk to you tonight…and I could visit you at your other job but that might make me a stalker.” (said with a smirk)
So I’m glad I did something…but I feel like it was a copout, like my friend said. It just didn’t make sense to do it tonight almost, but I guess making the comment of “I didn’t get to talk to you” made sense. I just didn’t feel right asking for a phone number, but I wanted to get something accomplished and I did. Maybe I’m just cranky and that’s why I don’t feel good about it?
All in all, in one word: Bleh.
I think you did a good job last night, especially if you’re pretty shy. How did he give you his email address? Happily, let’s hope?
Assuming tonight made him realize you’re interested . . . why not write a check next time he waits on you? Fill out the check and then ask, innocently, of course, “Do you need my phone number?”
Just a thought, but, as I see it, you made the 1st move tonight. Give him a way to make move #2.
Best of luck.
~S
I made the stalker comment to an ex when we first met.
We had been talking for a few days on the bus and outside class (freshman year of college) and I knew his first name. I came up to him one day when he was with his friends and I said: hi, would you tell me your last name so I can begin stalking you? Got his name, looked him up, made a date and promptly slept through it. Sigh.
Ask him out on a date. If he says “no,” ask someone else out.
You’re a hottie, right?
I’ll echo Brother Cadfael:
What’s that? You’re afraid of rejection?
[All guys in the world]
Welcome to our world!
[/All guys in the world]
OK. Now that you have his e-mail address, you still have to make a move.
I suspect that simply going back to his establishment on a less busy night and asking him out is your best bet.
And this invites the age old question - how long before I make contact? F was saying I should stop in again on Sunday, which is definitely not a busy night. I could, again, pick something up to go. Is that weird to have asked for the email and then see him again without having done anything? Even though it’s 2 days?
Or is it better to just to email him on Sunday or Monday and not see him again yet? Ugh why must this be so difficult?
Really, I’m not shy, I’m pretty outgoing. If I were at a bar and considered saying hi to a guy, that’s not so horrible. It’s the idea of making a move like asking for a phone number that’s scary. Especially at a place I go to all the time.
Well duh. Like the issue of shyness, just ask anyone who was at Blondie’s during the NYC Dopefest. Not a problem.
So give him yours. Stop by and do it (do it quick before you chicken out), or email it to him. Ball’s in his court (at least temporarily), which means A) you find out how he feels and B) you can circumvent the whole saramamalana=shy thing:)
Now, how long to wait? Well, I personally, back when I was single, wouldn’t have thought it stalkerish to get immediate contact from a person, but back then I wasn’t getting much non-SDMB social interaction anyway and I woulda soaked it up like a sponge. However, for all we know this guy recently got out of a 5-year relationship that nearly culminated in marriage and he totally isn’t up for anything but talking about his ex. Couldn’t hurt to write a nice and benign note either way.
You could e-mail him to ask him for his phone number…
So…
Did you email him?
Heh, just ask him to do a guy thing for you, like “I got a new chair, but I’m too little to move it. Can you help me pick it up?” Then when he moves the chair in, ask him if he’d like to stay and have a few drinks.
Other things you could try are:
I got a new VCR, but I have no idea how to program it.
My faucet leaks, but I can’t afford a plumber. Can you look at it?
I want to move my dresser, but I need a big strong man to do it.
Just play the helpless female and ask him to come to your rescue. Always worked on me.
I for one find unsolicited attention from women–even fairly unattractive ones–to be extremely exiting. The knowledge that something female finds me attractive is a total turn-on. Even if I beg off in the end (a rare occurance to a rare occurance) I go away feeling pretty stoked.
How do the rest of you guys feel about women hitting on you or asking for dates? Are they in any way annoying or threatening, or do you want to encorage more of that type of behavior?
I was in a similiar situation to yours a while back. I met this guy I really wanted to get to know better, but I just didn’t have the courage to ask him out. So I went to the place he frequented and brought my very straight-forward friend along. I introduced them and after chatting a bit I went to the rest room. After I left, she point blank asked him what he thought of me. He said he thought I was great and was enjoying getting to know me. She asked him why he hadn’t asked me out.
Now if he had said he was married, or gay, or seeing someone, she would have left it there, changed the subject, and told me later. But instead, he said he would like to go out with me sometime, but he was just starting a new business and didn’t think the timing was right. She said that was a silly excuse, what was the real reason? He then admitted his last relationship ended when the girl he was dating got mad at him and killed his cat. He turned out to be the lucky one though because he was soon called to testify at her trial for breaking both of the legs of the next guy she dated by running over him with her car. After that, he was afraid he couldn’t trust his judgement concerning women and hadn’t dated anyone in over two years.
This is when I returned to the convesation. My friend asked me, “Will you swear no matter what happens you will not kill this nice man’s cat? Or any other animals he has now or will have in the future?” Knowing my friend as well as I did, this odd request did not phase me, so I swore I wouldn’t. My friend then proceeded to set the date, time and place for our first date. When my friend left to use the rest room, I apologized to him, and gave him a chance to back out if he felt my friend had pushed him into something he didn’t want to do. He assured me he wanted to go out with me, he just needed a little encouragement to ask me and he was glad I brought my friend along that night.
And now, eleven years later, people still remember my friend, looking beautiful in her Maid- of-Honor dress, telling that story at our reception.
So if you have a friend that could help you out, that might be a way to go. It certainly worked for me.
That’s a great story!!!
If that isn’t a freudian typo, I don’t know what is.
:eek:
Yes, I emailed him today around noon. I tried to keep it as “breezy” (thanks, Friends) as possible.
Grits and Hard Toast, I can think of one friend who might do that. I’m realizing though that it’s hard to get time to chat with him at all while he’s working, so I don’t know how well it would work. But this friend is known to have outbursts like the one you described of your own friend, so who knows, eh? I’ll think about it.