Strangest place you've gone to the bathroom at.........

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

Weird thought, I know.

A few years back, my family and I (Mom, Dad, and my two older sisters) went on a family road trip from Boston to Florida for summer vacation.

We were driving in South Carolina, and it was baking hot. It was 99 outside, but felt like 110. I drank down two Big Gulps from 7 Eleven when we stopped for a while.

About an hour later, I felt like I was going to burst. I had to pee so badly, I felt like my bladder was about to rupture. We stopped at a Texaco gas station, but the station had NO RESTROOM.

What the heck kind of gas station doesn’t have a restroom?!:mad:

Anyway, I was desperate, so, against the advice of my parents, I took a dive for the back of the gas station and relieved myself. It was so awkward, because any one from the station could’ve gone back there for whatever reason, but I was so desperate.

Where’s the absolute weirdest place you’ve ever used the bathroom at?

2

I was visiting some Russian war memorial in the middle of nowhere in the dead of winter. Alarmingly, there were no public bathrooms on site and the tour guide had to get me into the maintenance workers’ toilet. I really didn’t want to get caught pissing on a Russian war memorial.

I also once had an extremely urgent situation on a DC Metro train. They famously did not have any public facilities (though I believe this has changed recently) at their stations and I knew I could never make it to a coffee shop or whatever. I got off the train at a random station and begged them to let me use some toilet, any toilet. I guess the urgency and panic in my voice convinced them that it was better to share the employee toilet than mop up a biohazard on the platform.

3

my car. No details will be provided.

4

My wife surprised me by taking me into NYC for my birthday to meet a bunch of friends. We had dinner and went bar hopping, and everyone did their best to get me hammered. When we decided to leave, we headed off to where we had parked the car, my wife walking nice and sober, and me stumbling my drunken ass along next to/behind her. I then realized I should have taken a piss before we left the bar, as we had a 40 minute drive to our house. So half a block before we got to the car, I turned to face the stoop of the brownstone we were in front of, whipped it out, and pissed all over someone’s steps. It was not my proudest moment.

I was mountain biking with some friends in the Catskills. We had stopped at a deli in town and bought sandwiches, then drove up the base of the mountain and ate lunch. A couple hours later we’re up on the trails, and my digestive system begins to alert me to some thermonuclear activity going on down below. Even if I had immediately turned around and bombed my way down the mountain, I never would have made it to a bathroom, had I known where to find one. I was about 1/2 mile in front of the others, so I hopped off my bike, ran off the trail a little ways, dropped my shorts and leaned against a tree. It was rather satisfying, in a desperate sort of way. I gathered as many big wide leaves as I could reach, and cleaned up pretty well, actually. My friends had gotten to my bike and were waiting for me to return, and the whole way back they were in hysterics- “you took a shit in the woods?!?!”

5

I’m pretty sure what the car wash guy said was that no detailing will be provided.

6

I’m a guy, so I pee wherever.

Once, after paddling for a while, I was loading my boat onto my vehicle when I realized I had to pee. I stood alongside my vehicle and let loose. Through the window I saw a couple walking toward me. I barely finished and zipped up as they walked around to my side of the vehicle to ask me where the park office was. There I am, giving directions from the only wet area of asphalt in the lot.

7

A few years ago, on a trip in Colorado, we were stuck in a traffic jam during a blizzard. There was nothing for it but to pee in the only receptacle handy, a coffee cup. By the way, I am female, so it was really an amazing feat of aim and balance. You would think my children (in the back seat) would have been more impressed.

8

In China, in a city park behind minimal bush cover, while the tour bus was stuck in traffic. You hike on the Great Wall, you drink lots of fluid afterward, you get stuck in Beijing traffic, and you have to pee.

9

Man, where haven’t I peed? I learned from a young age that a paper coffee cup, full of pee and thrown from a moving car, will blow 15% of the contents back into the car. No matter how careful you are.
I pee outside more often than the dog does.
Train platform, churchyard (it was an emergency), my pants, in the shower, other people’s pants, etc. I was an asshole as a teen. It went everywhere.

10

Off the top of an F-104 on display at the Air Force Academy’s prep school. On a dare.

11

That’s the same thing that happened to me. I was on a road trip with my friends about five years back, three girls (aside from myself), and two guys, when our van got stuck in a blizzard. We stayed in the same place on the highway for two whole hours, no joke.

I had to get a Ziploc bag, unbutton and unzip myself, and pee. It was by far the MOST uncomfortable experience in my entire life, one, because I really needed to pee, and it took about a full minute to relieve myself, but especially because I was sitting next to a guy in the van.

I still remember my gal pals saying, “Tyler, you’d better not look at Missy!”

He didn’t, cause if he did, he’d be a dead man. :smiley:

12

Heh. I mentioned beaching the pontoon boat so I could pee. She said to just go over the side. So I did. She meant I should jump into the water over the side and pee (like she does). Turns out I had observers.

13

In the Wisconsin River.

14

Not me, but my little sister- in a cemetery. When we were young my sister was seemingly unable to go more than an hour or so without having to pee. We knew where every clean public restroom in the city was…

We were out at the cemetery where some relatives are buried doing some spring cleanup when little sister announced that she had to pee. Mom starts panicking because there isn’t even a gas station for several miles from where we were. Granny takes sister behind a big tree, holds her jacket over her, and tells her to go pee. It was either that or knock on some stranger’s door. Sister thought it was cool to pee in a cemetery.

15

This is a story I’ve loved to tell over the years. It doesn’t involve me directly, but I was a witness.

Back in my radio days, I had a DJ friend who was taking flying lessons at a small local airport. In order for him to get some hours in, it was determined that he and his instructor would fly to Windsor, Ontario to visit a former co-worker of ours, who had hit the big time and was now working for CKLW. I was invited along for the ride.

So we were on our way in a small four-seater plane, with me in the back. The instructor had brought along some brownies, which he had in a little sandwich baggie on the console between him and my friend. (When I tell this story, everyone sees this as significant and gives a knowing glance. Well, it was significant, but not in the way they think!)

So we’re flying over Lake Erie, and suddenly the instructor starts laughing like hell. Before long, he’s actually kicking his legs in the air, really carrying on. This goes on for a couple of minutes, but with all the noise inherent in flying in a small plane, I couldn’t pick up what it was all about.

But then this guy, who had been flying the plane for a while, says abruptly to my friend “Take over the controls!” He then gets up, turns around and kneels on the seat facing me…and (to my considerable astonishment) whips it out!

It turns out that what he was laughing so hard about is that he desperately had to pee! He grabs the empty sandwich baggie and pisses into it, holding it closed by the top.

Then my friend has to lose enough speed and altitude so that the instructor can force open the door of the plane. He finally jettisons the bag of piss, which goes spiraling down into the waters of Lake Erie.

16

This. There aren’t a whole lot of places I haven’t peed. One of the best was probably in front of a lighted billboard on the side of the highway when a cop drove by (he didn’t stop).

17

Isn’t lieu contractually obligated to post in threads like this?

If he isn’t, he ought to be.

18

I just love the typically American euphemism in the title of this thread. It’s such a wonderful contradiction - surely this whole thread is the exact opposite of going to the bathroom? What’s wrong with “what’s the strangest place you’ve gone for a pee (or a shite)”?

Anyway, my contribution to the thread relies on the fact that I am a big fan of a little device called a Pmate. These allow a lady to pee while standing up.

I was at an open air rock festival in Rhodes, and the few portaloos were not up to much in terms of providing adequate facilities. The men were all just going behind a nearby derelict building. I did likewise, having checked first there was no-one else around. Of course, in the dark, and with the stage lights creating a silhouette effect, the next bloke that appeared just saw someone standing up and peeing and stood fairly close to me and proceeded to do likewise. He then tried to strike up a conversation about the bands. I said “erm… at what point do I tell you I’m a girl?”.

I think he suffered a little spillage down his leg before he regained his composure and just said, in a deadpan voice, “I’m impressed”. I just gave it a shake and wandered off.

19

In an alley in the French Quarter. This was shortly after after I had been propositioned by a young lady of uncertain virtue outside a house (well, I’m pretty certain about her virtue, actually) - I think I had wandered a bit off of the standard tourist route.

Unlike Mr. Simon, I did not take some comfort there. I was such a naif (even at 22) that I didn’t understand her question at first, and retreated in fairly good order.

20

Out in the boonies finishing up an archaeological survey. The rest of crew had left and I just had to pee. No one was around so I stepped behind a tree and squatted. Got done, stood up and there was a man riding up on a horse!