In the sink in a cheap hotel in London. The bathroom was down the hall, it was the middle of the night, and I didn’t feel like getting dressed just to take a leak. It wasn’t my finest hour.
I once urinated into a pair of men’s shoes. I was very drunk & walked along a third-story ledge in order to do so.
Not personal but witnessed it, to my great mirth.
Golf trip, 20 blokes in a mini bus with no toilet, on the way home, copious quantities of alcohol having been consumed.
Driving down the highway several of the blokes on the bus started informing the driver than if he didn’t find somewhere to pull over soon things were going to get messy, so the driver pulled over at a service station that had, you guessed it, no toilet.
So a handful of the more desperate gents walked over to one of the hire trailers out the front and in full view of the service station staff, the people still on the bus and anyone driving past, started pissing into the trailer. The bus driver nearly had a fit.
He ran round trying to get guys to put it away in mid flow and get back on the bus.
I’ve got a good bladder so I was just sitting on the bus laughing.
Once he chased them all back onto the bus he took off down the road and this time stopped at a McDonalds where everyone trooped off the bus, into the restaurant, into the toilet and back on the bus with not so much a single purchase.
Open boater here. When everyone eddies out and I jump into the water it may be for any of three reasons, including to dump the boat and to give my knees a break.
In China, on a rickety bus in the middle of nowhere, the bus made a pee stop, and according to custom, the men got out and peed on the right side of the bus, close enough to the bus that they could not be seen easily through the windows by the women passengers, who did not get out and pee at all and were thus saved from embarrassment. My wife, of course, got out and went around the left side of the bus and peed in the middle of the gravel road. Several giggling Chinese women then followed her example and got out and did the same. We always joke that my wife single-handedly changed China forever.
We once had to travel from Kuwait to Iran on a wooden cargo dhow, and my wife was the only woman on board. The only bathroom facility was a structure on the stern, where one holds onto a rail and “walks the plank”, from the end of which, one poops into the Persian Gulf (adding a whole new meaning to poop deck.)… When my wife had to use the facility, the captain instructed a couple of crewmen to stand at the entrance to the plank and hold up a tarp, so she could have priivacy.
Some of you folks have led very sheltered lives. I’ve watered many of the world’s greatest parks and mountainsides, and more than one continental divide.
The invention of the mobile phone lets you look like you’re doing something much more innocent as you stand in a London laneway or a Florida parking garage holding the empty Starbucks cup you pulled out of the bin a block back. You do have to forego some ritual shaking, however.
On rural highways, the depressed culvert is your key to privacy. Passing traffic can’t see you down there pretty much under the highway.
I’m about to say the same, that many of these adventures seem pretty tame. I wanted to piss on Custer’s Last Stand, but it was lake and the park closed so I just pissed on the entrance.
I pissed during a “piss call” near a bus in China more times than I can possibly remember. Many of which had curious folks of both sexes checking out the hardhat action since they are generally uncut.
I have wizzed in both the Potala Palace and the Forbidden City.
little kids in China taking a leak pretty much anywhere may not be normal but doesn’t raise an eyebrow. Grown men and women in Tokyo taking a whiz pretty much anywhere may not be normal but doesn’t raise an eyebrow.
Trying to think of somewhere truly exotic in China, HK, Taiwan or Japan where I have relieved myself in the 20+ years I lived there but keep coming back to whipping it out and pissing on the floor of a bar in Davis CA. Go figure.
cockpit of an airplane which coincidentally was also the back seat.
When I used to go hiking it was a solid tradition that one peed off the highest cliff available at the peak of whatever it was we were climbing.
One stood on the edge of the precipice, whipped it out, said “Oh Great Outdoors I salute thee!” and executed a smart salute with one hand while directing one’s stream with the other.
No, I don’t know why.
Dropped a Deuce in a hotel ice machine during a drunken teen-aged rampage. :smack:
Or so I’m told.
I worked in motels back in the days of ice chests. I often thought of this possibility. I knew it had to have happened sometime, somewhere. Thanks for the confirmation.
You bastard.
I peed in both the Atlantic and Pacific oceans (NY and CA) in the same day.
In an underground river in a cave in southern Indiana.
My friends and I used to go cave exploring on weekends; sometimes we’d be in a cave for hours and when you gotta go, you gotta go.
I was probably 6 or 7. There was a library in the small town and the librarian was a wickedly nasty old woman.
Unfortunately Mother would drop us there (3 of us) and go to do her shopping. Expecting the librarian to “keep an eye” on us, which was a shit thing to do. Not to the nasty old bag, but to us, leaving us with the bitch.
So one day, librarian decided we could no longer use the bathroom. I was kid, with a bladder the size of a pea. And that’s what I did, back in the stacks.
About 20 years ago, in my drinking days…
I lived in San Jose at the time. One night a friend was over drinking with me and my brother. It was about 3:00 in the morning, and I was describing my home town, in the Los Angeles area, to my friend. He said “I think I’d like to see that sometime,” so I said “alright, let’s go.” We piled into my truck, which had a shell on the back, and hit the road. My friend was the most sober of the three of us, so he drove.
We got about half-way to L.A. before we sobered up enough to ask “what the HELL are we doing?!” So we pulled off the freeway at the next town. It was 6:00 AM by this point, so my brother and I bought a twelve-pack of beer, and climbed in the back of the truck and kept drinking as my friend drove back to San Jose.
We got back into town around 8:30, and my brother and I had passed out by then. My friend got off the freeway and made a couple of turns so he could pull over and scream at us through the window to wake us - he wanted to know if we were going to go eat or just go home. He parked in front of a junior high school, and there were kids everywhere (it must have been passing time between classes or something). I got out of the truck to stretch and walk around to the driver’s side to talk to my friend, and he suddenly said “OMG look at your brother!”
My brother had stumbled out of the back of the truck and walked a few feet into the grass in front of the school, whipped it out, and relieved himself. With scads of kids walking all around him. When he was done he climbed back in the truck and was like “what? What’d I do?” We got the hell out of there and just went home. If the cops were called, nothing ever came of it.
Fun times!
I’m a geocacher, so the turtle has shit in the woods, more than once. I always carry a couple of packets of Kleenex in my caching bag for emergencies like this. What always amazes me is how fast the flies appear. I swear, they are on my offering before it even hits the ground.
Same for fish. Back in my scuba diving days, I would occasionally get hit by the urge while at 60 feet or so. Drop the trunks, let fly, then swim away about 10 feet and take pictures of the sudden massive schools of little fishies that appear in a heartbeat.
I’ve also whizzed over the edge of the Grand Canyon. Took a hike down to Indian Gardens, then out the Tonto Trail for a while and then out to Plateau Point. When we got there, we were completely alone. I stepped out past the bars and let fly. The winds weren’t too bad that day, so I didn’t suffer from too much blowback.
I went on a Silk Road tour of Xinjiang, the westernmost region of China. As said trip involved long hours on a bus navigating the edge of the Taklamakan Desert, there were many opportunities for memorable pee experiences, including:
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Peeing with a picturesque view of the Tarim River.
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Peeing in the middle of a fierce windstorm, with all of us (ladies on one side of the bus, dudes on the other side, as jtur88 and China Guy have described) trying to arrange ourselves appropriately non-downwind of one another so that we didn’t get sprinkled (with varying degrees of success).
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Visiting what our tour guide (a Uyghur anthropology prof) quite accurately and cheerfully advertised as the “world-famous MINUS-five-star toilet”. It was a concrete-block building, open to the sky, with a trench inside nearly full with trash and human waste. The stench was horrific. We all took one look inside and decided that squatting down behind scrubby ephedra bushes, in full view of passing Chinese truckers, was far preferable. (Got a couple of happy honks out of that one. :D)
Directly across the street from the US Capitol building, 1st Street side. In some bushes around the Grant Memorial. It was quite unavoidable, I’m just glad they didn’t have/weren’t monitoring security cameras in the trees!
Oh, wait, I forgot this one. I went to the pyramids in Egypt whey back when you could climb then if you wanted to, so up I went. When I got to the top, I was all by myself up there. Had to take a whizz.
In the middle (and I do mean the middle) of the southbound passing lane of California state highway 85. In broad daylight. I got off my bicycle and peed right there.
It was about 20 years ago, right after the highway was built, which was in turn after about 50 years of approvals and funding requests and eminent domain battles and fights over pavement types and sound wall designs and specifications and then finally building the damn thing. CalTrans opened the highway to non-motor vehicle traffic one weekend before the official opening, and the road was filled with walkers and runners and roller bladers and baby strollers and bicyclists and scooters and unicycles and low-flying skateboarders, all having a great time cruising the highway from Campbell to Cupertino and back.
And just north of the Winchester Blvd exit in the left lane was a porta-potty. Unlocked! I leaned my bike against it and took the opportunity to pee on 85. Been waiting all these years for an opportunity to brag about this incredible accomplishment, so thanks OP!