Mixing cream with water will not give you milk.
Make sure to check that you are, in fact, just drinking a big glass (or 2) of lemonade in the morning and not some crazy mixed drink your roommates made a pitcher off and put in the fridge. No alcohol taste at all, but it did make my 9 AM class a little more interesting…
If it was the Super 8, I’ve been there, done that!
Fortune favors the bold and all other similar lies. You make a good point, but you must remember all the exhortations concerning picking up the ball and running with it and all the other similar lies.
A little calculated risk is a good thing.
:eek: 
y’know… i do believe it was. the former SO, a former cop, was NOT PLEASED. neither of us got much sleep that night.
There is no good reason to lower the hammer on a Browning Hi Power with loaded chamber …
Piano repair is expensive and 9mm bullets do damage
If you’re seventeen, and a university has offered you a free ride with stipend for your undergrad experience, don’t turn your nose up at it because it’s not a top tier school. No one really cares where you got your undergrad, and free is free. Do not do this to three separate schools. No, not even if your parents are helping you.
God, I was an idiot. Of course, this isn’t exactly a lesson I can use…
My life occasionally feels like I’m the cosmic answer to every student who ever put his hand up in class and asked “Isn’t that worst-case scenario a bit far fetched?” 
ETA: Forgot to mention;
Certificates of Deposits are insured up to $250,000 by the FDIC or NCUA. U.S. Treasury bonds, although they are guaranteed by the full faith and credit of the U.S. government and have almost no risk of default, can lose value on the secondary market due to interest rate risk.
So if you can’t afford to lose money, CDs are as good as a savings account. Treasury bonds are close to risk free if you can hold to maturity, and of course corporate bonds are more likely to be defaulted on and suffer the same interest rate risk of treasury bonds except more so.
This, IMO, is the key to a happy life.
And I really like your signature too.
“Sore” and “injured” feel similar.
Do not try and “work through the injury”, you will make it much, much worse.
When it comes to work/business/finances/legal matters, put everything in writing and KEEP A COPY.
People (and pets) that you love will die. Spend time with them while you can or you may regret not doing so when they are gone.
In a relationship, if something bothers you bring it up as soon as you can talk about it rationally. Don’t hope it’ll fix itself, it’ll just lead to an explosion later.
Live within your means (ideally, within half your means!). I understood this but I’ve seen a number of people who didn’t and I got to watch what happened to them as a result.
Checking that a knife is sharp by drawing it across your fingers will work out exactly the way a moment’s thought would indicate.
Don’t buy cheap tools.
Don’t use Armor All on the Bench seats of a '73 Buick Electra 225 4-door.
I took a left and slid clear across to the other side.
Halloween tip: A sign placed next to a bowl of candy that reads “Take One Please” translates to “Free Bowl of Candy”.
It only takes one or two episodes of Judge Judy to learn this. 
"It was a looooaaaannn! “If it was a loan, what are we doing in court because I’m trying to get the money back?”
I learned the hard way that my brother-in-law is a egotistical nincompoop who can hold a grudge indefinitely. That probably doesn’t help the rest of you.
As a corollary… don’t trust cops in NJ who insist that you get an accident report (after a municipal vehicle hits your car), but won’t get out of their car to look at it, won’t question the offending party, and then give you a piece of notebook paper with a fake 6 digit number on it.
God I fucking hate New Jersey. It’s the Medellin Cartel of the Northern hemisphere.
Lesson to Fuzzy Dunlop: do not assume everybody lives in the US; also, the fact that something is insured does not mean the insurance will pay up fast - be it in the US or in Bohemia. CDs are insured in Spain too, but the people who had them in Rumasa banks when the government ate it took years to be able to recover their money.
I repeat: do not make loans of money you can not afford to lose. Having it unavailable for five years instead of the five months it was supposed to be out of your hands counts as “losing it” for cashflow purposes.
Being in a bad relationship is worse than being in no relationship at all.
Thing is, everybody learns that the hard way.
From yesterday evening: attempts to demonstrate the wonders of physics by showing that a cooled sausage casserole will stay in the dish while being spun around its axis will result in an interesting new “splattered gravy” design on the kitchen walls*
*and ceiling, and cupboards, and close family members
With a correlation between the amount of design and the axis on which it is spun?
Never loan money to a friend. I’ve done this twice, and got burned twice. The first time hurt the most. It was in 4th grade. A girl asked me to borrow 40 cents and I foolishly did. I never got that money back. And in the early 1970’s, 40 cents was a lot of money for this poor kid.
The second time was a bit more, 200 bucks. A friend needed money to buy food and pay some bills. I never got that money back, and whenever I casually mentioned it, I always got an excuse. Eventually, this friend started avoiding me and I haven’t seen her or heard from her in many years.
I could have spared myself a lot of grief if I’d learned this sooner, both the “wait til you’re rational” part AND the “ignore -> explosion” part.
If you get a police report and the cop believes it was the other persons fault, ask the cop to issue them a ticket for reckless driving. If you’re really pissed at them tell the cop you think you smell alcohol on their breath.
Poke holes in potatoes with a fork before you bake or nuke them. If not they will explode.