OTOH, poking holes in eggs will not reliably prevent them from exploding.
The key words here are little & calculated
I haven’t done this, but I’ve known too many people who have functioned on this philosophy.
little - A lot of people have no sense of scale on these things. If you do this in a personal relationship, it causes a small amount of damage to that relationship. Once or twice is ok, but more than that and you risk losing the relationship altogether. Somewhat similar in business relationships, although bureaucratic behomoths almost require this to get things done. OTOH, do it at the wrong time to the wrong person and you could end up out of a job.
calculated - Similarly, most people don’t stop to calculate the risks, and end up screwing things up for themselves, and often for other people who didn’t get the reward.
True story: A number of years ago, several members of the troupe I was dancing in were invited to perform at a BD convention show. One of my troupemates used fire as part of her performance, and we were all going, “Yeah, easier to ask forgiveness than get permission”.
The convention was held at a lovely old theater in downtown Austin and was one of the nicest venues I’ve ever performed or taken classes at.
She did her performance. The result was that the theater owners never allowed BD conventions to be held there again, and I suspect that the dancer was not asked to perform again at that show for several years, if ever.
I learned the hard way never to loan money to friends or family. Not only are the number of cases where I’ve witnessed this working out very rare, but in my case it has always been negative. My favourite tactic is when you loan money to someone, and then as the payback time approaches they manufacture a fight over nothing so they can flounce away and “never speak to you again”, which also means bye-bye, money.
I learned the hard way that I should let my admin assistant do her job and not feel bad about giving her menial tasks. I’m the manager with the multiple degrees and training and she’s the admin assistant, I’m supposed to do the hard stuff and she’s supposed to do the menial stuff, which is why my company pays me 7 times what it pays her. I do not need to spend my day standing there wondering why the copier is demanding D-sized paper for an A4 tray, what the correct fax number is to send a contract to when every number the client gives me goes to some kid’s mobile phone, or arguing with the airline for half an hour over a double-booked ticket. I think I was actually making her job harder by trying to handle some of these things myself.
I learned the hard way that with home improvement contractors, it’s not the price, it’s “can I work with these people?” Home renovation and improvement has so many variables in it that you need to stay flexible, and you need a flexible contractor. Sometimes that’s the cheapest one, sometimes the most expensive - money seems to have little influence on the probability of your home being fixed properly. Oh yes - I also learned a lot of “experts”, even the city inspector, sometimes get the NEC and IBC wrong, and if you don’t catch them, YOU pay.
I learned the hard way long ago that there are some seriously messed-up oppositional-defiant-disorder people on this message board, and that simply putting them on Ignore and never clicking on their posts is the best policy. I used to spend a lot of time being conciliatory to them or trying to reason with them, only to receive more abuse, as well as, surprise, off-board sexual slurs and specious threats. They usually flame out and/or get banned before too long anyhow, and I’m too busy working for Cecil to waste my effort.
Some short lessons I learned: never work for the (ex) Russian mob. Never fence epee without a hard breast protector. Never trust the bolt catch on an AK-47 to keep your fingers from being squashed. Never ignore a strange blind spot in your eye, nor bloody chunks in your urine, because you’re “too busy” to go to the doctor. Never break up a cat fight by grabbing one of the cats to “save” it. Never open a bulging can of Chinese mixed vegetables out of curiosity. When the snake has decided it doesn’t want the rat, do not try to move the snake (chomp). Never walk underneath a locust tree without footwear which will prevent a spine from going all the way through your foot. And always, always wear your seatbelt, lest you go through the windshield and onto the pavement.
Don’t test the sharpness of a knife by cutting yourself with it.
If you drop a cigarette on a small pile of gunpowder and it doesn’t ignite, DON"T pick the cigarette up with your bare fingers because the powder might decide to flash at that moment and then a well meaning neighbor might slather your burnt skin with butter which makes things feel worse.
Helpful Hint: If you ever burn yourself IMMEDIATE cold water works far better than butter.
If you get stood up on a date, drop that person like a live grenade.
It’s better to lose a friend than a job. (Don’t goof off with a goof off at work!)
If you have just started training in martial arts, do not tell somebody who is a master in martial arts what a badass you are.
If a cop or HR person asks for the real story, just say that you don’t have any idea where any of this came from.
Always test a used computer before paying for it.
Don’t trust people that sell you things from vans.
Best wishes,
hh
Practising psychotherapy without a license is an appalling idea, especially in your romantic relationships. Being loved is nice, and healthy, and in many cases can improve your mental health, but it’s not possible to love someone so hard that their mental issues go away.
I’ll take it one step further - only if you’re seeking a partner or a one night stand or relationship of some sort, you shouldn’t be wearing it. It’s false advertising, plain and simple.
Here’s mine: Staying in a relationship to “prove” you’re more dedicated/in love does not work.
More hard learned wisdom, this time about relationships.
If you know that a relationship is going nowhere, have the guts to break it off now. Otherwise you are just wasting everyone’s time while you delay the inevitable.
Likewise, don’t move in with someone unless you are on the path to marriage. You are just getting yourself stuck in a situation that you won’t be able to get out of when it’s no longer working.
Don’t cheat. Every bit of fun and excitement you get out of it will come back double as pain and agony for you and those you care about.
You will get over your heartbreak. It may take a while, but you will heal.
“I’m not looking for a relationship right now” nearly universally means “I’m not looking for a relationship with you right now”
Yup - and whilst it may be painful to hear initially always remember “It’s not personal”. That might sound strange but a lot of what a person may not like about you may be completely outside of your control i.e. you just simply don’t match what they have in their head as the template for a relationship. Some people are very fixed on what they want and if you’re not it you don’t get a chance to demonstrate that you’re just as good (or better even) than what they imagine they want. Don’t get hung up on it.
That noise in your car/furnace/dryer is not going to go away on its own. Getting it fixed sooner is cheaper than later.
If a dog has a history of chewing, leaving her out of her crate while you run out for just an hour or so is not a good idea. It only takes a couple of minutes to eat your new couch.
My son-in-laws new bride once Armor All’d the steering wheel of his new car. He still occasionally mentions that.
Popping a trash bag to open it emits the same frequency as breaking glass, to an alarm company.
Best wishes,
hh
Stray cats are flexable enough to slash your hand open if you pick them up by the tail.