Stupid General Questions Forever

Dear Cecil,

I just found a leaf that looks exactly like the design used on the Canadian flag. Could this be valuable?

My whole left arm has turned blue. Should I worry?

I dropped my monitor out of my bedroom window, how do I make it work again.
What’s bob’s last name?

Why won’t Maggy Simpson answer my letters?

I can’t find MS Office on Grokster. Anyone here got it downloaded??/ e-mail it to me thx

WHY AREN’T THERE ANY LOWERCASE LETTERS ON MY KEYBOARD?

My dog keeps trying to dance with me, but isn’t tall enough so he grabs my leg and hops around. Is that unusual?

Hey, Doc! It’s hurt when I do this. What should I do?

My throat was sore, so I stuck a biro in it like they do on TV. What should I do next?

Where does the bread go after the toast pops out of the toaster?

Something weird happened when I microwaved my cat.

Do you know where my shoe is? It’s a size 10.5, mostly white with grey laces. It’s the left shoe, if that helps.

My dog said I should get more sleep. Do you think this is true and what’s your opinion on taking the advice of housepets in general?

can I drive myself home after the laser eye surgery?

This is the dangerous end, right?

Is it okay for Headspace to post as a newbie? Is this the right former to welcome Headspace?

What brand of tin foil hat is most alien-proof?

I’m not Cecil, obviously, but the voices in my head are telling me that I can channel the spirit of a long dead person who answered questions in the past…no, I don’t know their name, so don’t ask. Either that or I have too much time on my hands this morning.

It, the voices, are saying I can only do this once, so read carefully.

pravnik: Only in Belize.

Lobsang: No, blue is very becoming on you. First stick a fork in the wall socket to make sure it has electricity. Bob Lnu.
No, but I understand that Billy would like to speak to you.
Take 2 aspirin and quit whining.
Strange? Like it didn’t turn into Moo Goo Kitten? Anyway, placing it in the freezer for the same amount of time you nuked it will undo the effects of the microwave.

Vezer: Well, it would help if you would mail them first.

Casey1505: Obviously you have a very special keyboard, but then again, you are obviously a very special person.

Lamar Mundane: Only if you enjoy it.

Jonathan Chance: Do it again so I can watch you squrim.

Horseflesh: It’s still in the toaster, but in an alternate universe.
Yes.

Call me Frank: Where you last left it, duh.

Odinoneeye: Yes, however, you may wish to get a second opinion from your cat.

Headspace: Yes, as long as it’s mid-day and there is bright sunlight.

Zoe: Only after he’s made the appropriate sacrifice. BTW, you’re late on your dues.

Maxxxie: Reynolds

What are the three words ending in G-R…no, I can’t. I can’t say it. :smiley:

In leap years, why do they put the extra day in February? I rather have the extra day in July when it is warm.

Why is a raven like a writing desk?