You do know, don’t you, that the English-language Bible has been corrupted by a liberal bias, and that Jesus didn’t actually say those things about wealth and helping the poor?
Fortunately, Andrew Schlafly (son of Phyllis Schlafly and the brain cell behind Conservapedia) is working on the Conservative Bible Project, which will remove those tainted interpretations and present His teachings in all their free-market glory. Not sure how far he’s gotten, but I’m certain it will be worth the wait.
There is something wrong with the way that story is written,
yet,
If your car will not start, how do you run the A/C?
I am going to guess the tow truck driver is bullshitting like an asshole, because
It’s HuffPo, so that’s hardly a surprise.
It will drain your battery, but you can do it.
You can run the A/C for a little while on battery power, but I suspect you’re right.
Once again, this is what passes for “Christian” in our nation these days.
Absolutely no relation to the actual teachings of Christ.
There might have been damage to the frame or maybe a bent axle. The engine will run but the car can’t be moved.
I’m not a Bible scholar, so I may have this a little wrong, but wasn’t there a parable or what have you about Jesus overturning people in wheelchairs in the temple?
I don’t think so, but he did skin the lepers.
I thought he roasted the dead.
No no no, you’ve got it all wrong.
Jesus and the Apostles played the Lepers in a game of pickup soccer/football. The Lepers were skins.
After the game, Jesus went over the field, picking up body parts and re-attaching them to the Lepers. Good sportsmanship, you see.
No, he braised the dead. Much tastier.
In the updated bootstrappy “American Christian” version, Lazarus is just a lazy good for nothing who spends 4 days pretending to be dead while resting comfortably in a nice, cool tomb during the hot summer. Probably be illustrated as black or Mexican too.
“When he had said this, Jesus called in a loud voice, “Lazarus, come out!” The dead man came out, his hands and feet wrapped with strips of linen, and a cloth around his face.”
Jesus just called him out on his bullshit.
No, not soccer. It was a hockey game.
There was a face off at center ice.
Sank you, sank you … I’m here all of ze week.
David Duke lives in Europe?
He’s European American, that’s good enough for him.
The Anti-Satin.
So… Sateen?
Cholestopheles, the Anti-Statin