Well, we are stardust. Groovy.
They didn’t say which Mars.
See? That’s where they screwed up. The child slaves are working at the Mars candy factory after the CEO watched Charlie and the Chocolate Factory and wanted his own Umpa Loompas.
Now I get it! MILF means “Martian I Would Love to Fuck”.
Does that mean that I and my fellow Hoosiers are deplorables?
Are you running guns into Chicago, or otherwise facilitating that?
In Austin (Texas), the air smells of tacos and trees — and city-state conflict.
Gov. Greg Abbott (R), citing grave worries about **“socialistic” behavior **in the state’s liberal cities, has called on Texas lawmakers to gather next month for a special session that will consider a host of bills aimed at curtailing local power on issues ranging from taxation to collecting union dues.
Yes but, Deputy White House Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders said that crime in Chicago was "driven more by morality” than access to guns.
You must be confusing it with a MILG.
Drain the lake (I hear he’s big on draining things) and fill it with acid.
Well, yeah, but where would they get it? Owsley Stanley is no longer with us.
I should have realized that NASA announcing they don’t have child slave rings on Mars must’ve been fueled by a right-wing loony.
And, yeah. If Alex Jones isn’t mentally unbalanced, than I think it must be just seeing what he can get away with.
Many years ago, I did a series of comics on Alex Jones, and how he’s boiled his audience down to the people absolutely stupid enough to believe whatever he says.
8 years on, and he’s become even more popular, which means there must be even more stupid people around today.
Pizzagate rears its stupid head again.
Flyers were put on doors in the neighborhood of the pizza place saying “Pizzagate is real news”.
And John Podesta’s brother is under fire for donating art photos of children in dangerous situations, with somebody on Twitter claiming the kids are part of the Pizzagate conspiracy.
Maybe that’s why the Mars slaves thing was floated, to make pizzagate on Earth more believable. But pizzagate- I thought a good guy with a gun settled that nonsense?
Well, I’m…not. I promise. Would I lie to you? 
We should be using this stuff as a litmus test for mental illness; track down anyone who responds and evaluate them. If you can believe some crazy shit like this, you need help.
Not as much as those kids do.
Perhaps less stupid than simply contemptuous: Christie and his spawn got Island Beach State Park all to themselves this weekend simply by shutting down the NJ state government.
“Run for governor, and you can have a residence there.” - a quip that would have been right at home here at snark-central, but is an actual quote from that load of dicks, Chris Christie.