Smapti:
Remember when Megyn Kelly used her Fox News platform to opine that Santa is factually white?
Fox News’ #1 white supremacist just said “Hold my beer”;
That’s right; if you don’t acknowledge that your gingerbread cookies are all packing thick, meaty schlongs, you’re part of the War on Christmas.
Meanwhile, out in the snow…
Paul Ryan Laments Not Screwing Over More Poor People on His Way Out the Door
Exactly one year ago today, Paul Ryan was riding high—higher than his college days around the frat keg as he dreamed of gutting Medicaid, and higher even than the day he posed for Time magazine pumping iron, which was clearly tough to beat given his expression throughout the shoot. The reason for Ryan’s giddiness, of course, was that Congress had just passed a “middle-class” tax bill that would disproportionately benefit the rich, i.e., one of his lifelong dreams.
And with the ink barely dry on that aspiration, Ryan turned to another long-sought goal: destroying the social safety net. Practically licking his lips at the idea of slashing Medicaid, Medicare, and Social Security, Ryan told hosts at various news outlets that he could not imagine a better follow-up to a historic transfer of wealth thinly disguised as tax “reform” than putting the old, sick, and poor on notice. Unfortunately, Ryan‘s dream, and that of many people who simultaneously believe in corporate welfare and telling the homeless to “get a job,” did not come to pass before he announced his retirement in April, a regret that got a pointed shout-out in his goodbye speech today.
“I acknowledge plainly that my ambitions for entitlement reform have outpaced the political reality, and I consider this our greatest unfinished business,” the Ayn Rand devotee told his colleagues on Wednesday, as though he was a dying man ruing the fact that he wouldn’t live to see the passage of the Equal Rights Amendment, except he was talking about slapping the blood pressure medication out of grandma’s mouth. “Ultimately, solving this problem will require a greater degree of political will than exists today. I regret that.”
Boo-fucking-hoo and good riddance. If only he were taking Mitch with him.
Thick gingerbready schlongs, surely.
Smapti:
Remember when Megyn Kelly used her Fox News platform to opine that Santa is factually white?
Fox News’ #1 white supremacist just said “Hold my beer”;
That’s right; if you don’t acknowledge that your gingerbread cookies are all packing thick, meaty schlongs, you’re part of the War on Christmas.
I don’t think I’ve ever seen an anatomically correct gingerbread cookie. Guess I shop at all the wrong bakeries.
Is there an over/under on whether Carlson is secretly gay?
Dang, I could really go for a gingerbread schlong right now. Skipped breakfast.
What’s the over/under whether he’s a top/bottom?
Googling “anatomically Correct Gingerbread Men” brings up this page:
https://www.google.com/search?q=anatomically+correct+gingerbread+men&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwju_Kv-3K7fAhXmdN8KHQxzAdYQ_AUIDygC&biw=1440&bih=708
A lot of them are what you expect, but I’m surprised at the number of witty “Visible Man” examples.
Steve_MB
December 20, 2018, 3:33pm
39909
I see what you did there.
Kramer, a Maryland telecom worker, got the idea to crowdfund the wall when he saw a sign listing deaths from fentanyl and other opioids. Angry about illegal drugs smuggled across the Mexican border, he decided to try and fund at least part of the wall through crowdfunding.
Wait, fentanyl is coming from Mexico?
I’m not 100% sure I’m catching what you’re pitching, are you sure it’s over home plate?
Has anyone pointed out to Tucker that gingerbread men are clearly cookies of color?
Grrr
December 20, 2018, 4:00pm
39913
I like Ginger bread men. Does that make me Cis-Ginger?
The batter got jammed by a backdoor slider, nubs a dribbler back to the mound.
Ike_Witt
December 20, 2018, 4:09pm
39915
It is going to be really difficult watching baseball, going forward.
Balance
December 20, 2018, 7:57pm
39917
Maybe grab a dickerdoodle to tide you over?
Folacin
December 20, 2018, 10:31pm
39918
Hey, we haven’t had Gohmert in here for a while. Here he is defending the DHS family separation policy:
Parents are separated from children every single day of every year… Mueller did it, & I know he’s a hero to some folks around here, he did it to Manafort – separated him from his 2 beautiful children. It happens.
Those beautiful children are in their 30’s.
But very, *very *sensitive, I’m sure.
Smapti
December 21, 2018, 12:18am
39920
Geraldo says, via Twitter, that it’s unconstitutional to not watch Tucker Carlson.
Clearly the man left his intellect in Al Capone’s vault.
Dag_Otto
December 21, 2018, 1:37am
39921
Waste of a vault. He could have left it on the head of a pin.