When I was a younger fool, studying for admission to the penitentiary, my radical friends and I waited eagerly for the issuance of the Texas Republican Party Platform. I will not give you examples, nor even encourage you to seek them out, I value your Orville Reddenbacher sensibility and mild mannered reason.
As a gentleman of mature years, have you any hair? Please be sure to place some sort of protective gear on your head to protect it from anguished tearing before you read them. Also, clear the area of spouses, siblings, pets and any persons who have not heard you scream. Middle of a corn field, perhaps. A big one.
You’ll probably need some drugs, too. Let me know, I’ll see what I can do.
Fuck me there’s a lot of crazy in there. Playing spin-the-mouse-wheel, here’s a *small *sampling of the insanity that is the Iowa GOP platform (all emphasis added):
[ul]
[li]We oppose government distortion of the free market through subsidies and bailouts.[/li][li]We call for the repeal of all mandatory minimum wage laws.[/li][li]We call for the elimination of the Federal agency, Occupational Safety and Health Administration (OSHA).[/li][li]We support the elimination of the Iowa Department of Education and of the U.S. Department of Education.[/li][li]We call for the removal of Kevin Jennings, now head of the United States Office of Safe Schools (Safe School Czar). America’s schools would be safer without him.[/li][li]We favor teaching systematic intensive phonics in reading, the three R’s, hard work and individual responsibility.** * (nice apostrophe there) [/li][li]We believe that Intelligent Design theory, or Creationism, should be included with all science instruction along with the Darwinian theory. No theory should then be taught in public schools to the exclusion of the other.[/li][li]We support the establishment of a no-activities night on Wednesdays. (???)[/li][li]We oppose the teaching of homosexual behavior as a normal or acceptable lifestyle in our public schools.[/li][li]We believe that voluntary teacher or student led prayer shall not be restricted in public schools.* The use of the Bible as a textbook should be allowed.[/li][li]We believe Congress and the President should remove all legislative and regulatory obstacles to the production of oil and the construction of refineries in the Caribbean, in Texas, in Alabama, in Alaska, in Colorado, and the Williston Basin. (fuck you, landlocked* Iowa*)[/li][li]We believe no-fault divorce laws should be repealed.[/li][li]We oppose the proposed North American Union, which would do away with our borders and sovereignty, and we are opposed to the Amero, which would do away with our currency and sovereignty[/li][li]We oppose any effort to implement Islamic Shariah law in this country.[/li][li]We call for the reintroduction and ratification of the original 13th Amendment, not the 13th Amendment in today’s Constitution. (what?)**[/li][li]We call for the legal ratification of the 14th Amendment and the clarification of Section I as based upon the author’s intent (Senator Jacob Howard).[/li][li]We believe no group or individual should be accorded “minority” or protected class status, or given the existing statutory benefits that come with the designation. All American citizens should be treated equally as called for by the Constitution and Declaration of Independence[/li][li]We call for reinstating, with proper safeguards, the death penalty for murderers, rapists, kidnappers, and drug dealers with a firm limit of 24 months for appeals and no intrusion of federal authorities.[/li][li]We oppose any taxes being placed on the United States by the United Nations[/li][/ul]
*4.41
We believe that sexual orientation should not be allowed to be a basis for any school clubs, such as the Gay Straight Alliance, at any level of the public school system.
Okay, what the hell is this all about? Will Fridays also be forever enshrined as Pizza Day? Will all married men between 35 and 60 years of age be compelled by law to participate in Tuesday Bowling Night?
At least I understand where most of the other crazy comes from but they lost me on this one.
Think I found something: From Rawstory. It’s just a ‘source’, though, so can’t pass on the veracity.
Fuck Iowa. I dated a somewhat psychotic girl from Iowa. Can’t believe I escaped having an association there. (With apologies to the four sane Iowans and with no intent to refer to your craphole of a state as ‘flyover’ country. Maybe ‘flyaround’ would be better.)
Now, either they want to exempt Baptist churches from the ban so everyone can go to choir practice, or they have it in for the Baptists who always seem too busy on Wednesdays.
No kidding. A lot of this stuff is well beyond merely stupid and comfortably into the “blink, blink The fuck are you on about ?” zone. UN taxes ? United Nations Law ? The Amero ? What. Just what.
But what the hell. Let it be known, for the record, that I most strenuously oppose the nomination of Fred Flinstone as Secretary of Slavery of the Empire of America.
Well, I found this horse’s head in my bed once - long story - but I probably still have it in the attic somewhere. Do I need to take it when I go vote or something?
Well, it’s a prospect for hope that they think opposing losing their sovereignty to some North American Alliance of the United Homosexual Atheist Communists is about as important as making sure their Church potluck doesn’t clash with their kid’s karate.
Wednesday night was prayer meeting night in most of the churches when I grew up. It wasn’t an “activities” night. It was a regular meeting with a sermon and singing and what not. School never had ballgames or other activities on Wednesday night.
For some reason the AOG’ers had theirs on Thursday.
Yeah, growing up in MN, Wednesday night was “church night”. We Catholics had our CYO meeting that night and the Methodist’s and (many flavors of) Lutherans did whatever for their youth.
I’m certain that religion is what the Iowegian GOP is aiming for, but I don’t see it as a problem - it’s nice to have a night when any organization (secular or not) can know that they won’t have a conflict with a school function (play, game, concert, etc).
[li]We believe no group or individual should be accorded “minority” or protected class status, or given the existing statutory benefits that come with the designation. All American citizens should be treated equally as called for by the Constitution and Declaration of Independence[/li][/QUOTE]
Somebody needs a primer on what “protected class” means.
They believe that for everybody but themselves. When it comes to Christians being held to the same standards as everybody else, suddenly they are being persecuted and harried by The North American Alliance of the United Homosexual Atheist Communists.*
Thank you, gamerunknown, for the name of that organization. Now, can you give me a mailing address? I fear I am behind on my dues.