Stupid Republican idea of the day

[Johanna]

@LavenderBlue

Romney picks running mate who would lower his taxes:

That’s right: less than one percent.

Listen to me, Mittens. You know what you are? You’re a greedy little shit with too much money. That’s all you are.

You know what you aren’t? You aren’t Albert Einstein expanding our understanding of the universe. You aren’t Dr. Paul Offit curing rotavirus in third world countries. You aren’t Isaac Newton or that Nobel prize winner in Burma bravely confronting the world’s worst government. You’re not a parent coping with a child with cystic fibrosis or the guy who wrote this year’s Pulitzer prize winning expose. You’re not the firefighter pulling the guy out of the burning building or the first grade teacher in the disadvantaged schools trying to teach little kids to read.

You’re just a greedy little shit. So drop the fucking pretense. I am sick and tired of hearing people like yourself demanding to be worshipped by ordinary people and accorded a special place in the tax code. There are millions of others who serve this country and this world far more than you ever will. Stop throwing a temper tantrum, grow the fucking hell up and pay your fair share of taxes like the rest of us.

<<<APPLAUSE>>>
That definitively and elegantly sums up the campaign. Your post belongs in the all-star Doper hall of fame. May I share it?

[LavenderBlue]

@Johanna

<<<APPLAUSE>>>
That definitively and elegantly sums up the campaign. Your post belongs in the all-star Doper hall of fame. May I share it?

blush

Yeah.

[MacCat]

@Johanna

<<<APPLAUSE>>>
That definitively and elegantly sums up the campaign.

Especially the wonderfully succinct paragraph…

Listen to me, Mittens. You know what you are? You’re a greedy little shit with too much money. That’s all you are.

[elucidator]

By way of your good friends at Talking Points Memo (Joe Bob 'luc says: Check it out!)…

http://livewire.talkingpointsmemo.com/entry/boehners-office-says-president-avoiding-personal-responsibility-for

On its website and in an email Monday, House Speaker John Boehner’s office said President Obama needs to take personal responsibility for the drought ravaging the Midwest.

Obama, “continues to blame anyone and everyone for the drought but himself,” reads a release from Boehner’s office posted online and distributed to reporters Monday…

That’s right, you read it correctly: Obama is to blame for the drought.

[lance_strongarm]

@elucidator

By way of your good friends at Talking Points Memo (Joe Bob 'luc says: Check it out!)…

http://livewire.talkingpointsmemo.com/entry/boehners-office-says-president-avoiding-personal-responsibility-for

That’s right, you read it correctly: Obama is to blame for the drought.

The drought is a liberal plot.

[Damuri_Ajashi]

@elucidator

By way of your good friends at Talking Points Memo (Joe Bob 'luc says: Check it out!)…

http://livewire.talkingpointsmemo.com/entry/boehners-office-says-president-avoiding-personal-responsibility-for

That’s right, you read it correctly: Obama is to blame for the drought.

There are ancient civilizations that would throw their kings in a volcano if there was a drought. Maybe we could do that.

[Lobohan]

@Damuri_Ajashi

There are ancient civilizations that would throw their kings in a volcano if there was a drought. Maybe we could do that.

Whatever you say, your majesty.

[Knorf]

@Damuri_Ajashi

There are ancient civilizations that would throw their kings in a volcano if there was a drought. Maybe we could do that.

We don’t have a king. Maybe use the Speaker of the House, instead?

[elucidator]

Never make a volcano vomit. Bad idea.

[jayjay]

@Knorf

We don’t have a king. Maybe use the Speaker of the House, instead?

I hope that volcano likes pickled stuff…

[foolsguinea]

@Rhythmdvl

Wait, I thought praying for rain was Rick Perry’s job?

Still a winner. Maybe of the century.

[foolsguinea]

@silenus

No, no no. That’s the Jesus and Mary Chain.

Silly Republicans.

Garbage!

@LavenderBlue

Listen to me, Mittens. You know what you are? You’re a greedy little shit with too much money. That’s all you are.

This post is freakin’ brilliant, and should be human mic’d at Romney rallies from here until he drops dead, or the election, whichever comes last.

[digs]

@Knorf

We don’t have a king…

PEASANT WOMAN: I didn’t know we had a king. I thought we were an autonomous collective.

KNORF: You’re fooling yourself. We’re living in a dictatorship. … A self-perpetuating autocracy in which the working classes…

MITTENS: Then who is your king?

PEASANT WOMAN: We don’t have a king.

MITTENS: What???

KNORF: I told you. We’re an anarcho-syndicalist commune: we take it in turns to act as a sort of executive officer for the week, but all the decisions of that officer have to be ratified at a special biweekly meeting, by a simple majority in the case of purely internal affairs…

MITTENS: Be quiet!

KNORF: …but by a two-thirds majority in the case of…

MITTENS: Be quiet! I order you to be quiet!

PEASANT WOMAN: Order, eh – who does he think he is?

MITTENS: I am your king!

PEASANT WOMAN: Ehhh, well, I didn’t vote for you!

[LeeshaJoy]

I thought you were supposed to sacrifice virgins to the volcano. Good luck finding one of those in DC.

[Boyo_Jim]

Which?

[Budget_Player_Cadet]

@LeeshaJoy

I thought you were supposed to sacrifice virgins to the volcano. Good luck finding one of those in DC.

Bachmann. Because I don’t even care if she supposedly had kids, there is no way her husband ever put it in her, between her being the ugliest sea-hag ever and him being a flaming faggot.

[gamerunknown]

@LavenderBlue

Listen to me, Mittens. You know what you are? You’re a greedy little shit with too much money. That’s all you are.

You know what you aren’t? You aren’t Albert Einstein expanding our understanding of the universe. You aren’t Dr. Paul Offit curing rotavirus in third world countries. You aren’t Isaac Newton or that Nobel prize winner in Burma bravely confronting the world’s worst government. You’re not a parent coping with a child with cystic fibrosis or the guy who wrote this year’s Pulitzer prize winning expose. You’re not the firefighter pulling the guy out of the burning building or the first grade teacher in the disadvantaged schools trying to teach little kids to read.

You’re just a greedy little shit. So drop the fucking pretense. I am sick and tired of hearing people like yourself demanding to be worshipped by ordinary people and accorded a special place in the tax code. There are millions of others who serve this country and this world far more than you ever will. Stop throwing a temper tantrum, grow the fucking hell up and pay your fair share of taxes like the rest of us.

Whirrr. Bzzzt.

[Spinning gears]

Oh, wise and beneficent man of the people Mitt. You are truly a wise and proficient job creator. A fine example of the American dream.

You aren’t some sort of untrustworthy foreign liberal scientist. You are from a fine stock of Anglo-Saxons. You are not one of the unpatriotic hacks from the liberal media, seeking to shake our faith in fine American institutions. You are not one of those inefficient unionised public sector workers.

You are a job creator. Embrace it. I am upset that others seek to excel, rather than embrace the class they were born into. Truly, if we accept our status in society and propitiate before the job creators, life will be better for the several million Americans that are being discriminated against by entitlements. Please continue your magnanimous service to society and blessings be upon the free market.

[lance_strongarm]

@Knorf

We don’t have a king. Maybe use the Speaker of the House, instead?

Let’s throw in a certain former Speaker who thinks he’s a king.

[lance_strongarm]

@LeeshaJoy

I thought you were supposed to sacrifice virgins to the volcano. Good luck finding one of those in DC.

Georgetown University and Catholic University might have a few vir…oh, wait, never mind.

[bup]

@lance_strongarm

Georgetown University and Catholic University might have a few vir…oh, wait, never mind.

Yeah, it depends on whether gay child diddling makes you lose your virginity.