Stupid Republican idea of the day

[BigAppleBucky]

@74westy

Turns out http://www.freewoodpost.com/ is a satire site but you had me going for a while.

Damn. Now I’m guilty of stupid. Sorry Megyn. Though I still think you’ll lose your job as soon as you lose your looks.

[kaylasdad99]

What’s the point? Unless the reason she loses her job is because the American people wise up to the fact that NEWS ON TELEVISION IS WORSE THAN USELESS, and they start staying away from it in numbers sufficient to make it no longer a profitable enterprise*, they’ll just replace her with someone else.

*(yes, I know. As long as I’m wishing for stuff, can I get anybody a pony?)

[Rhythmdvl]

@kaylasdad99

What’s the point? Unless the reason she loses her job is because the American people wise up to the fact that NEWS ON TELEVISION IS WORSE THAN USELESS, and they start staying away from it in numbers sufficient to make it no longer a profitable enterprise*, they’ll just replace her with someone else.

FTFY:
*I want you to get up right now, sit up, go to your windows, open them and stick your head out and yell - ‘I’m as mad as hell and I’m not going to take this anymore!’ Things have got to change. But first, you’ve gotta get mad!.. You’ve got to say, ‘I’m as mad as hell, and I’m not going to take this anymore!’ Then we’ll figure out what to do about the depression and the inflation and the oil crisis. But first get up out of your chairs, open the window, stick your head out, and yell, and say it: “I’M AS MAD AS HELL, AND I’M NOT GOING TO TAKE THIS ANYMORE!” *

[dropzone]

First that movie was a satire, then it was a documentary. I hate to think of how I’ll see it ten years from now.

[elucidator]

No worries. We’ll be burning it for warmth.

[Shayna]

Oklahoma GOP Call Plan for School Tornado Shelters ‘Interfering with God’s Will’

TULSA, Okla. – Oklahoma Governor Mary Fallin and other Republican lawmakers have called for the elimination of a plan that would tax businesses within the state in order to pay for tornado shelters to be placed in schools to protect children. They say the tax is an unnecessary burden on Oklahoma businesses, and that creating shelters specifically to protect children is an attempt to thwart God’s will.

After seven children died in 2013 from a series of tornados, Democratic State Representative Joe Dorman put forward a plan that would have reinstated a program taxing corporations $1.25 for every $1,000 they invested in the state. The money, expected to total close to $40 million annually, would then have been used to build tornado shelters at Oklahoma schools.

Republican leaders, however, were quick to put a stop to the plan. “Just adding on a new tax burden on Oklahomans is not the answer. If God sends a tornado to demolish a school, I’m sure He has a good reason. It is not our place to ask questions, nor to try and protect those children He has chosen to kill.”

…

More vileness at the link.

There really are no words.

Well, except maybe FUCK OFF AND DIE OKLAHOMA GOP, preferably in the destructive eye of an EF-5 tornado.

Yeah, that oughtta do it.

[running_coach]

@kaylasdad99

What’s the point? Unless the reason she loses her job is because the American people wise up to the fact that NEWS ON TELEVISION IS WORSE THAN USELESS, and they start staying away from it in numbers sufficient to make it no longer a profitable enterprise*, they’ll just replace her with someone else.

*(yes, I know. As long as I’m wishing for stuff, can I get anybody a pony?)

One pony keg of Anchor Steam, please.

[jasg]

@Shayna

Oklahoma GOP Call Plan for School Tornado Shelters ‘Interfering with God’s Will’ More vileness at the link.

There really are no words.

Well, except maybe FUCK OFF AND DIE OKLAHOMA GOP, preferably in the destructive eye of an EF-5 tornado.

Yeah, that oughtta do it.

Also at the bottom of the link is a button “Show Facts” which highlights the facts in yellow and leaves the satire part of the story alone…

(You might want to re-read it with highlighting on)

[Smapti]

If you guys keep posting articles from parody sites, I’m going to have no choice but to start a "Stupid ‘Stupid Republican Idea of the Day’ Idea of the Day’ thread.

And then you’ll be sorry.

[jayjay]

Congress is going to have to suspend Poe’s Law soon. The GOP is making reality and satire into identical twins…

[Maus_Magill]

Hit by Poe twice in one day. That’s got to be some kind of record.

[Steve_MB]

I’ve heard of dirty politicians, but this is ridiculous:

When Orange County congressman Dana Rohrabacher and his family moved out of their rented Costa Mesa home last year, they reportedly left behind "a shockingly horrific pigsty, a dump worse than a college fraternity house of unhygienic slobs unfamiliar with the most basic tools of cleaning…

[elucidator]

…And so it piled up to the ceilings:
Coffee grounds, potato peelings,
Brown bananas, rotten peas,
Chunks of sour cottage cheese.
It filled the can, it covered the floor,
It cracked the window and blocked the door
With bacon rinds and chicken bones,
Drippy ends of ice cream cones,
Prune pits, peach pits, orange peel,
Gloppy glumps of cold oatmeal,
Pizza crusts and withered greens,
Soggy beans and tangerines,
Crusts of black burned buttered toast,
Gristly bits of beefy roasts. . .

Sarah Cynthia Sylvia Stout Would Not Take The Garbage Out

• The late, lamented Shel Silverstein

(Full version here)
http://mste.illinois.edu/courses/ci407su01/students/north/kristy/Project/K-Poem-Net.html

[foolsguinea]

@Maus_Magill

Hit by Poe twice in one day. That’s got to be some kind of record.

I’m embarrassed that I at first fell for both instead of checking that the unbelievable really was, well, an unbelievable joke. I’m* from* Tornado Alley. Governments are* big* on storm shelter spending.

[smithsb]

Mike Huckabee 2016: Former Nominee Considering Another Run For President …

This won’t end well. I’m looking forward to the 2016 Repub primaries with ghoulish fascination already. Santorum, Huckabee, Jeb, Christie, Palin (draft movement), Ryan, Walker, Jindal, Cruz, Rubio -what could go wrong?

[Smapti]

Meanwhile, in duck country, the Douglas county sheriff’s office has decided to respond to A&E’s imaginary First Amendment violations withan actual First Amendment violation;

A&E, the television network that airs the embattled “Duck Dynasty” reality show, “has produced more than a half dozen programs with the assistance of the Douglas County Sheriff’s Office,” according to the Georgia county’s Sheriff Phil Miller. In retaliation against the network’s decision to suspend Duck Dynasty star Phil Robertson for making a series of deeply offensive remarks, A&E will no longer receive such assistance from Miller.

“A&E has suspended Phil Robertson for talking about his conservative Christian beliefs,” Miller claimed on his Facebook page, adding that he believes this “punishment” to be “unreasonable.” Though A&E has historically been able to rely on Miller’s office for assistance, “[t]hey will not do any more with my assistance while I am sheriff. It is time for someone other than Hollywood and the news media to stand up for what is right!”

[Muffin]

@smithsb

Mike Huckabee 2016: Former Nominee Considering Another Run For President …

This won’t end well. I’m looking forward to the 2016 Repub primaries with ghoulish fascination already. Santorum, Huckabee, Jeb, Christie, Palin (draft movement), Ryan, Walker, Jindal, Cruz, Rubio -what could go wrong?

One of them might get elected. :smack:

[Typo_Negative]

@Smapti

Meanwhile, in duck country, the Douglas county sheriff’s office has decided to respond to A&E’s imaginary First Amendment violations withan actual First Amendment violation;

But how is not giving assistance a 1st Amendment violation?

From linked article It is not entirely clear exactly what kind of “assistance” Miller has provided the television network in the past, or what services he is now pledging to deny them in the future

Maybe you (thinkprogress) should put a reporter on it and find out, then get back to us.

To the extent that Miller is refusing to provide government services to A&E because he disagrees with the network’s broadly tolerant views, however, denying government services to the network would violate the First Amendment.

Yes, denying government services would be illegal. But since you have not identified what those services are…

Also, he said ‘assistance’, not services. From this I make this possibly unfounded assumption: The Sherriff was going above and beyond government service for these shows. He may have offered technical assistance and advise, filled out forms and made phone calls for permits and otherwise greased skids to make it easier for the show’s production.

Refusing to do this now would not be illegal in any way.

[BrainGlutton]

@dropzone

First that movie was a satire, then it was a documentary. I hate to think of how I’ll see it ten years from now.

As wishful thinking. Which it always was.

[BrainGlutton]

@Shayna

Oklahoma GOP Call Plan for School Tornado Shelters ‘Interfering with God’s Will’ More vileness at the link.

There really are no words.

Well, except maybe FUCK OFF AND DIE OKLAHOMA GOP, preferably in the destructive eye of an EF-5 tornado.

Yeah, that oughtta do it.

Pretty sure that’s another parody site.