Stupid? Uncouth? Ill-mannered? Bitch? You decide!(long)

The BBQ Pit
41

Ask her how the ring melting went, at a club meeting. Don’t act like you’re mad about it, or even think it’s something shameful to keep secret. No more emotion than if you were asking about the state of her flower garden, just make sure lots of people are around.

Anyone within earshot inquires, you just tell them that upon finding out about X’s death, she went over right away to collect a ring she had given X a few years previous. Since she mentioned to the grieving sister that she wanted to melt it down for some other purpose, you were curious about how it turned out.

42

Ooh! Do that! Do that!

43

SCL, I’m glad you’re a little less angry today. This doesn’t mean that I’m excusing what that classless bitch did, it’s just that anger sucks up a lot of energy. Why waste it on her?

L’s sisters sound like wonderful, witty people. I’m still chortling over the “my precious” comment.

I hope today is a better day.

Cheesesteak, that’s just EV-IL. I like it. :wink:

44

[QUOTE=Cheesesteak]
Ask her how the ring melting went, at a club meeting. Don’t act like you’re mad about it, or even think it’s something shameful to keep secret. No more emotion than if you were asking about the state of her flower garden, just make sure lots of people are around.

Anyone within earshot inquires, you just tell them that upon finding out about X’s death, she went over right away to collect a ring she had given X a few years previous. Since she mentioned to the grieving sister that she wanted to melt it down for some other purpose, you were curious about how it turned out.
[/QUOTE]

:smiley:

I think we have a winner!

45

[QUOTE=Cheesesteak]
Ask her how the ring melting went, at a club meeting. Don’t act like you’re mad about it, or even think it’s something shameful to keep secret. No more emotion than if you were asking about the state of her flower garden, just make sure lots of people are around.

Anyone within earshot inquires, you just tell them that upon finding out about X’s death, she went over right away to collect a ring she had given X a few years previous. Since she mentioned to the grieving sister that she wanted to melt it down for some other purpose, you were curious about how it turned out.
[/QUOTE]

Definitely. I’ve taken the high road, and frankly, I’m sick of it. Some people count on you being too classy to call them out on their repulsiveness.

46

[QUOTE=bigbabysweets2000]
Okay, I think it’s pretty clear that we all agree that this was a tremendously insensitive act. Can we try to play devil’s advocate and try to come up with a couple of reasons to defend these actions. I’m really curious if someone can come up with some good excuses.

One possibility, which I’m sure SnakesCatLady would have mentioned if this was the case, could be severe autism. Maybe this person is literally incapable of understanding human emotion in times of grieving. Sure they are guilty of a rude act, but maybe they just don’t have the ability to recognize it.

Can anyone else come up with some good ones?
[/QUOTE]

How many people with severe autism, unable to process the emotions of others, wind up on the boards of social organizations?

Sailboat

47

I disagree. Take the high road. Our manners have degenerated enough in this country. Let’s not contibute further to the Jerry Springerization of society, no matter how tempting.

The sisters had an opportunity to put her in her place, politely*, when she came over and asked for the ring. Instead they kowtowed to her. The uncouth friend has showed how classless she is, both by hanging up on you and then demanding the ring back. Now you should let it go.

*“I’m sorry. Perhaps we can address this matter after we’ve buried our sister. But right now we are grieving and would appreciate if you’d give us our space.”

48

[QUOTE=Sailboat]
How many people with severe autism, unable to process the emotions of others, wind up on the boards of social organizations?

Sailboat
[/QUOTE]

A certain "national socialist organization comes to mind

49

An excellent pitting (even if slightly understated) for this worthless piece of flesh masquerading as a human being. Needed a few more fuck-wits for proper seasoning.

Sorry for the passing of your friend.

50

[QUOTE=Cheesesteak]
Ask her how the ring melting went, at a club meeting. Don’t act like you’re mad about it, or even think it’s something shameful to keep secret. No more emotion than if you were asking about the state of her flower garden, just make sure lots of people are around.

Anyone within earshot inquires, you just tell them that upon finding out about X’s death, she went over right away to collect a ring she had given X a few years previous. Since she mentioned to the grieving sister that she wanted to melt it down for some other purpose, you were curious about how it turned out.
[/QUOTE]

I third (fourth?) this. That would be beautifully-played. Turning the other cheek is all well and good, but sometimes people need to know who (what?) they’re dealing with.

I’m very sorry to hear about you losing your friend, SnakesCatLady. Very sorry that a difficult time has been made worse by such a classless piece of human trash, too.

51

[QUOTE=SnakesCatLady]

So I’m going to keep my mouth shut and just be as cool as I can be to that scum-sucker, bless her heart. Unless she flat-out asks me what the problem is. Then I will tell her what the problem is. As eloquently as I possibly can, hoping I can remember some of the wonderful turns of phrase I have read here.
[/QUOTE]

This clueless bitch isn’t likely to pick up on coldness. It’s laudable of you to remember your manners and not sink to her level and take the high road and all, but the bitch needs to be told. “Here’s what you did and here’s why it was wrong and this is how it made people feel and this is what I think of you!”

I don’t think I could do it without sputtering, but sometimes sputtering is in order.

52

You should have told the Ringbitch the deceased specifically requested to be buried wearing the ring.

53

[QUOTE=PunditLisa]
I disagree. Take the high road. Our manners have degenerated enough in this country. Let’s not contibute further to the Jerry Springerization of society, no matter how tempting.
[/QUOTE]

I understand what you’re saying, but if SCL follows Cheesesteak’s suggestion, that would not be at all Springeresque. How Smeagol chooses to react is up to her, not SCL or anyone else.

The desire of others to “let it go” is exactly why people like her get away with their shit.

54

[QUOTE=Taters]
What the flyin’ fuck?! There are actually people like that?!

This fucktard can’t even be considered human. I think the name Gollum suits her perfectly. I have to admit, I kind of snorted when I read about your friend’s sisters calling her “my precious”. That was funny.

I am so sorry you’ve lost your friend.

I too, would be curious to see if that worthless twat tries talking to you again. What maroon!

Was that enough cussing? I rarely post in the Pit.
[/QUOTE]

Yes, there are people like that. Worse, even.

When my Mom died in January of '04, my scheming, conniving, fuckwit stepfather immediately began angling for “the goods.”

I never saw what she saw in him, but he made her happy, so I kept my peace. But Mom was no dummy; she had her legal ducks in a row long before she died. Unbeknownst to him, Mom had listed all “listed property” in the house that belonged to him. And that he had no equity claim on the house.

As Executor of the Estate, I saw that he left with exactly that, and nothing more.

Not that he didn’t try.

He got his bull-dyke bus-driver friend and her two police officer nephews (off-duty)to come help him move, and when they showed up, he began making loud pronouncements about what he was taking out of the house.

When I told him no, he wasn’t taking both couches, the nice coffee table, this, that, and the other, bull-dyke bus driver motions her two nephews forward. They approach like they’re about to do a “Cops” style take-down.

I had a copy of the will, with the property listing, and waved it in their face. I had my cell phone in my other hand, and offered to call our lawyer and the police for them if they had a problem.

They suddenly had somewhere else to be.

I haven’t seen my stepdad in over three years, but we know some of the same people.

I hear that whenever my name is brought up around him, he cusses a blue streak for 5 minutes straight.

It brings a smile to my face every time I hear of that.

55

When talk moves to family deaths, the thing that comes off as a point of contention for years is a female’s ring.

56

You have two choices.

  1. Take the high road. Drop it, and just be Cold As Ice to her forever.
  2. What Cheesesteak said…

Oh, and I think Ringbitch should be reamed with he porcupine going in forward. Just think of what will happen when the critter is securely lodged in there and decides it is now time to back out!

I’m sorry for your loss, and for L.'s family’s. If she was anything like her sisters – and I am sure she was – she must have been a wonderful person!

57

[QUOTE=PunditLisa]
The sisters had an opportunity to put her in her place, politely*, when she came over and asked for the ring. Instead they kowtowed to her.
[/QUOTE]

I don’t see that they “kowtowed” to her. I see that they did what was expedient. As well they should have, in that particular case. They got Smeagol out the door as quickly as possible.

Generally, yes, intolerable rudeness should be dealt with in situ by the wronged parties, and not by a third party at an unrelated board meeting a month later. And if the opportunity to deal with it then and there is missed for whatever reason, the issue should usually be dropped. But these were extenuating circumstances, and the action was beyond the pale. This is one case where it’s perfectly appropriate to have “let it go” when it happened and deal with it later.
SCL–so sorry for your loss! :frowning:

58

[QUOTE=PunditLisa]
I disagree. Take the high road. Our manners have degenerated enough in this country.
[/quote]

I thought the suggested course of action was well-mannered. It would have to be pulled off just right, but it seems to me it can be pulled off perfectly politely.

-FrL-

59

So it seems clear to me that the person pitted in the OP was seriously pissed off at the deceased for some reason. Did no one else get this impression?

Not that this excuses what happened, but it may at least explain it.

-FrL-

60

[QUOTE=Frylock]
So it seems clear to me that the person pitted in the OP was seriously pissed off at the deceased for some reason. Did no one else get this impression?

Not that this excuses what happened, but it may at least explain it.

-FrL-
[/QUOTE]

I had never gotten the impression that Ringbitch was “seriously pissed” at L. (the deceased). Ringbitch was in the ICU waiting room the week before L died sobbing that L was “her best friend” which probably would have been news to L. Ringbitch did show up at the memorial service.

I think she is just a greedy bitch with no class or manners.

And I doubt I will say anything to Ringbitch unless, as I said earlier, she asks me why I don’t want to have anything to do with her. We are not and have never been close friends, so the subject may never come up. The main reason I started this thread was to vent, to get the disbelief and anger out of my system so I can “let it go”.