dwalin has the powers of any dwarf (according to most fantasy series): he’s very strong, good with his hands, somewhat shorter than Wolverine, usually more pissed-off than Wolverine, can find his way anywhere, and doesn’t need any radiation at all to see.
Typically Sunday would have super strength, super speed and the ability to get super funky, but only on sundays. Since most supervillains have caught on to this fact and plan accordingly, she spends most of her time at home watching soap operas and dancing the night away.
Do I even need to bother? 
I’m the most musically talented, acrobatic, giant turtle to grace the face of the Earth.
Colibri obtained his super powers by sniffing at a radioactive flower.
He is able to fly both forward and backward at incredible speeds, as well as hover and do acrobatics. He is incredibly pugnacious, and will attack supervillians 1000 times his size, but usually succeeds in merely annoying them since he has no strength to speak of. His chief weakness is the need to consume twice his own body weight in food every day, which puts rather a big crimp on his schedule.
Okay. Pink Nail File rides around on the Nail Clippers of Doom and has the magical ability to cut your nails really short, to the point where it is impossible to touch anything for fear of your fingernails falling off. I supply nail clippings to Norse gods for an undisclosed sum. My costume is pink and complete with a tiara (everyone knows costumes aren’t complete without a tiara). And I’m a nomad, because the PalinDome is too tough to compete with (that’s even cooler than the Batcave).
I’d be like a big ugly bug that smelled really bad. Maybe I could roll or throw some type of substance?
Dr. Rieux (who hears at least twice a week from total strangers that he looks like Jerry Garcia) is the Sorceror Supreme (but only of Arizona).
He doesn’t have a costume, but he dresses like it’s still the '70’s.
His batle cry is “Aw, shit–not this again!”
THAT’S IT! Thank you!
Hal Briston would…uhhh…hmm, damnifIknow…spell things backward?
With the appearance and personality of an aging CPA, NoCoolUserName will team up with Misnomer and nameless to form the Legion of Substandard Superheros.
Cool, I always wanted to be part of a lesion!
Your powers are great! Together we shall rule the Earth!
Bow, puny mortals!
Thalion has the ability to increase his own mass and density until he is simply impossible to hurt or move. If he calls you friend, he will stand by you no matter what.
Stay away from his son, though. The boy is an incredible fighter, but he generates a field of incredible bad luck that affects anyone near to him.
(Qadgop and the other Tolkien geeks will understand all that.)
When we all get together, we can watch Leave it to Beaver reruns on a 12" b&w TV and exchange our catchphrase:
I duh know, whadda YOU wanna do?
Legion of Substandard Heroes ASSSEMBLLLE!!!
burp
I’m the guy at the bridge.
Hey! Are you accusing yourself of trolling? You know that’s not allowed. I should call my fellow Legio … oooh, look! Father Knows Best! Pass me another Miller Lite, would ya?
Hmm. I named myself after a mercenary in the scifi webcomic Schlock Mercenary, so all I have to do is steal… ahem, do a homage to the character.
Dressed all in red, this mercenary will naturally work for whomever has the cash. Cast back from the future, he has done well with his power armored uniform and high tech weapons, smashing heros and villains alike. Of course, part of the reason for his success is his advanced medical technology, since he gets mutilated and/or decapitated fairly often.
His sidekick is mini-Schlock, a small amorphous creature armed with twin plasma pistols and a homicidal attitude.
The bridge of the Enterprise? The Bridge of San Luis Rey? The Bridge on the River Kwai?
Be specific! Use examples!!! 
Fear Itself, the Mind Killer, the Prince of Panic, the tingler of spines, who can liquefy your bowels with a single touch. Avoid his gaze, lest your feet turn to lead bricks, your heart leaps into your throat and your last ounce of courage squirts into your shorts. Run! Run while you can!