I’m certain there are “innocent” 10s out there, but I’d say I would be hard pressed to recall a 9 or 10 that didn’t have one or more major personality flaws. Right at work there is a girl that I would rate a solid 8, 9 on a good day. She recently talked nonchalantly about how she would seduce an old boyfriend (despite having a longterm partner with which she has a daughter) so this other girl that “thinks she’s so hot” would be denied said old boyfriend. Its just something she’d “just have to do.”
I was once married to a German ex ad model. It lasted six months. She thought much the same way.
I like 10s, but relationship material they are not.
Do people feel this is an equal-opportunity thing? Do good looking men go through life with the same character flaws that good looking women are supposed to have?
And do people feel that being good looking creates these character flaws? Or does being good looking just allow people to get away with these character flaws?
I could convince myself that men who seek out the ‘hottest’ women, chase 10’s etc, kind of get what they deserve. I mean, they’re slamming the hotties for being so shallow etc, but they chased, based on the hotness, so it’s kind of deserved.
I tend to assume that beautiful women who take great care with their appearance are vapid, stupid, and probably, selfish.
I have rarely been pleasantly surprised to the contrary.
My opinion probably doesn’t bother them however. So that’s not a real down side.
I have met a few women who were both intelligent and beautiful, but they were self-absorbed and obsessed with their own looks so their intelligence wasn’t very charming (except to men of course).
I can only recall two women I’ve met in my whole life who were intelligent, beautiful, and kind. The cherries don’t all line up very often. Plus, if all you have to do to get everything you want is look a certain way, character development tends to fall by the wayside. My theory.
I would assume it isn’t the same since men’s self worth and sexual worth isn’t as tied into appearance as it is with women.
I did watch a documentary about a bunch of guys in their 20s who were born into rich families. They seemed to have the same paranoias that most people attribute to super hot women. They were paranoid people were out to use them, that people didn’t like them for them, people only wanted to take something from them rather than be with them for themselves, etc. I don’t think super attractive men get that same thing that wealthy men would.
It can be fun to watch this same phenonena take place in a more isolated locale. Have you ever walked into a bar where the clientele was mostly older, pot bellied, ciggerette smoking males? There will usually be one or two slightly younger queens that hang out there also. They might be blond about 40, slightly smaller pot bellies, ciggerette smoking females. They are 10’s in this place.
This is insightful. I just met a guy like this. I wondered for awhile why he seemed strange and then I realized he had Trust Fund Baby tattooed on his forehead.
I really don’t think there’s such a thing as a “super hot” woman. In my eyes, a pretty large percentage of females my age are attractive, and of those that are attractive, none are really dramatically better than any other.
I met a handful of 10s in my life, and I was actually astonished at how easygoing most of them were. We were never super close (classmates or co-workers instead of SOs), but I never got the “life will be easy because I’m pretty” vibe.
But man, as a rule, the 8s and 9s were obsessed with how hot they were and reminded us peons time and again, sometime every hour of every day. One in particular used to parrot the “I’m going to be a model” line all the time. Guess what happened? Go on, just guess.
I did say major personality flaws, and yes there are 1 through 8s that have them. As someone else mentioned, these 9s and 10s tend not to have or need much character development. There’s always an exception to the rule, but what I’ve personally seen usually bears this out. There’s just certain things it seems they should know is bad or should care about, but they just don’t.
A good example would be my ex taking this quiz/survey thing. One question was along the lines of would you sleep with your boss to advance in you’re job. She chose yes without blinking. Naturally I called her on it. She pulled a half-hearted “of course not while I’m with you” moment. She still seemed annoyed that I was annoyed. It was just a natural course of action for her.
I think their awareness of it probably varies, since some people have good self esteem and some people have terrible self esteem no matter how objectively good looking they are.
One thing I noticed about life for the super hot chicks: With all the attention they get, they have to deal with more creepers than most women do. Being beautiful can be a bonus in some situations, but there are situations where I’m glad I don’t have to deal with being “noticed” by a creepy guy.
Super hot chicks are a dime a dozen. Especially in New York, LA or Miami.
More often than not, their careers will involve a job where their looks are appreciated - waitress/bartender, sales rep for a pharma company, real estate agent, marketing or HR in tech or financial services companies or trophy wife.
The last time I dated a superhot chick, which was just a few weeks ago - it happens - her main ambitions in life were
Pursuing a career in business so she didn’t have to model anymore (direct quote: “It’d be stupid of me to forget looks don’t last forever,”) and
Her absolute, utter determination to conquer the Lone Star Cafe’s 72-Ounce Steak Challenge.
Seriously, she’s convinced she can eat the 4.5-pound steak. I’ll believe it when I see it, but I’ve seen her go at a plate of cheeseburger nachos and I think she’ll give it a pretty honest go. (From what I have heard, the Challenge is invariably won by tall, skinny guys. She’s tall and skinny, but a woman, so I have my doubts.) But she didn’t seem at all shallow to me, and was completely aware of her looks. Had sort of a clinical view of it.
This is probably the best way to view it.
Having said that, enabling is a key factor.
We tend to enable people by giving them a platform or a podium to be or do the thing that’s the subject in question - in this case, being beautiful.
Ever been at work and have that one socialite type person that in the middle of focus and quiet, will randomly pipe up with 'WOW! or ‘OH NO!’ or some other equally silence shocking comment, to which someone else will say ‘WHAT WHAT?’ (we call them the enabler), and the person will then go on to say something entirely trivial? It’s a real obvious attempt at getting attention - not in the emo, help I need attention because I’m a social reject - but more of the subconscious I’m like this because I’ve grown to expect attention and when I don’t get it, it’s my second nature to automatically try and achieve it.
Similarly ‘beautiful’ people are in the same boat and you can guarantee over half of them will make ques or drop hints to enablers around them frequently should they need to.
The best way to keep people in their place, is to not enable them.
Unfortunately a lot of persons just can’t help minding their own business, so they react to the ‘OH WOW!’ comments and the cycle continues.
This is ever important in a society that’s become so shallow about physical appearance because the people who hold that power, are also the ones who are leading our society with their thoughts and actions.
Where as kids looked up to actual heroes or make believe heroes in the past, they now look up to drug ridden, oxygen wasting, poor role model celebrities.
However the really pretty girl next door, is the girl next door because she’s not self-centered. Sure, she may recognize her beauty objectively, yet she doesn’t use it as a weapon or a defense.
Being pretty has it’s up and downs, but it definitely helps you learn the truth about people a lot faster and their intentions.
I will say this to the men though, don’t ever let women lead you around unless that’s your ‘thing.’
If she isn’t friendly, just get away fast. There’s no reason a woman cannot be nice and good looking. Never give her the power over you, to make you just another name in her massively long phone list.
It really is time men started telling women ‘NO, you’re not getting what you want, you need to earn it from me first.’
I think the issue is that what is “super hot” to one is going to not be so much to another. Look at any thread about physical attractiveness and celebrity around here alone. Some will look at Angelina Jolie and see womanly perfection and some will look and see hair, lips, and a stick body.
Also, this thread makes me giggle because if someone uses “female” to describe women on this board the ladies get angry but apparently the icky “chicks” is okay.
Once again we see a lot of ugly lines of thought coming from people, mostly men, who seem deeply uncomfortable with feminine power.
No, there is no magic leveling mechanism that ensures that beautiful women have hideous hearts. No, not every beautiful woman will inevitably take a cosmically appointed tragic fall. No, not every beautiful woman is using her powers for evil. The most beautiful woman I know (think a young Brazilian Julia Roberts) is smart as all get out and just the sweetest girl I’ve ever met.
Beauty is like any other personal trait- from wealth to charm to smarts to athleticism. it’s a great thing to have, but it’s not going to make or break your life. For some people, they will be able to leverage their beauty to build a sustainable better life. But frankly, those people have good heads on their shoulders and would probably prosper no matter what. Yes, for some people it’s an easy route to taking a big fall. But those people would have found some way or another to trip themselves up.
Men imagine that beautiful women have everything handed to them on a plate. But most of the stuff that beauty gets you just isn’t all that great. Sure, being invited to the VIP lounge at a club is a novelty. But after a while you realize it’s even more fun to go out with your actual friends. You may be able to sleep your way to a promotion, but the manager that hires his team based on sex is probably not going to have much influence in the company. There are career tracks for “sexy secretary”, but sleeping your way through admin isn’t actually a life of magical riches.
Like anything else, it can be helpful at times, a pain in the ass at times. It won’t may lead to some interesting experiences, but it’s not an automatic ticket to easy street.
