To the coworker who just stealth-farted my cubicle, I’m sorry you didn’t get your way in the meeting this morning, but this is not a professional way to deal with the situation. I hope you know, this means war.
The vending machine is full of Slim Jims, and I have a lot of pocket change…
Perhaps he’s a Doper who took this thread a little too seriously.
OHHHHH!!! Fart WARS!
Let’s see if I can remember my husband’s recipe for deadly flatulence; start with a protein rich meal, follow it with a bunch of carbs, and throw some alcohol in with the protein if you can. My own personal recipe is jalapeno smokies, smothered in dijon mustard and sauerkraut. THAT’ll learn 'em. Stealth farting, indeed. You should announce your presence with AUTHORITY!
Oooh, good! takes notes furiously How about topped with tabasco and velveeta cheese? Washed down with a blood mary and I think I’m in business…
Just develop irritable bowel syndrome.
what? 
According to intelligence gathered from this thread , the worst farts are to be had from microbrew beer (I think that it’s important for there to be some live yeasts in there) and bratwurst. This fart cleared an INTERSECTION, for crying out loud. I’d suggest adding in some sauerkraut and eggs for added…er, flavor.