**Animal experiments with my budgie
I’m going slightly mad
Torment the Cats Day! **
Housepets everywhere, beware!
**Half-naked children in restaurants?
Polling: Popular terms for masturbation **
GQ:
**What are the effects of frequent masturbation?
New contact lenses. Now monitors are trapezoids. WTH?
**New contact lenses…riiiiiight.
**So has anyone ever dodged the draft?
Turduckens in Canada?
**
Turduckens? Is that what they’re calling them now?
Polling: Popular terms for vomiting
Polling: Popular terms for masturbation
How about “Polling: Popular terms for vomiting that involve masturbation?” Or maybe we could have “Polling: Popular terms for masturbation that involve vomiting?” Or “Polling: Popular terms for losing lots of different bodily fluids at once?”
**Best Christmas Memories As A Child
Half-naked children in restaurants? **
Why, when I was a kid, we didn’t even have clothes, but Meemaw and Pawpaw would always manage to take us to a fancy rest-o-rant for Christmas. We were poor as dirt, but we sure had the dirt, an’ we could pump the well by the crick and make us some mud, take it into town, sell it for a profit! We got a whole nickel sometimes. Why, back in those days, that’d buy Christmas dinner for a whole town, with enough left over for everyone to get a brand-new pair of shoe laces! That was a special treat, not havin’ your shoes fall off! Why, I remember the time when…oh, right…where was I…Shoes?..Oh, no. Christmas. Right.
So, Meemaw and Pawpaw would sell the mud, and we’d have ourselves a feast for Christmas! Woo-ee, was that a treat! Might not have had shirts on our backs, but we kids had a grand ol’ time eatin’ all them fried noodles off our bellybuttons! 'Course, it was Chinese food, 'cause who else is gonna be open on Christmas? Jewish places or something, maybe, but they don’t got fried noodles. They got those little roundy bread things. Those can be pretty tasty too. First time I ever had one, I was in the army, down in Fort Benning. There was this one feller, a little Jewish guy, whose folks used to…
Oh, wait. Where was I? Oh, right. Noodles. We never got nothin’ but them little noodles, ‘cause it was the Depression. Made a little sauce by puttin’ some soy sauce in the bellybutton, mixed it up with the lint, thought that was a gor-may dish, special for Christmas! Didn’t even know that Chinese ate anything but them noodles, 'cause that was all we saw! Nearly died of a heart attack when I first saw them egg-roll things–Chinese, fried, but couldn’t fit 'em in your bellybutton! And I never saw them little sticks they eat with 'till I was in the army–how they do that I’ll never know. Starve to death! Sticks! I remember sticks. We used to be glad if we found sticks–sold for more than mud!..
Oh…uh…where was I?
**Polling: Popular terms for vomiting
Best Christmas Memories As A Child**
I knew I wasn’t the only kid who always got sick around Christmas…
**Best Christmas Memories As A Child
If they’re going to execute you, why do you care how it’s done?**
:eek:
**Why would anyone want a 2000 watt
Backed up sink**
**OJ’s book, TV show cancelled
Wow, I’m happy **
Yeah, I sure we’re all breathing a little sigh of relief just about now.
Scribble, 
**OJ’s ‘Confesssion’ ?
Ew! Ew! Ew! What Is This Bug???
**
The device I used to get a Confession from that bug, OJ.
CS:**
Guess Harry Potter’s Last Line
We’re queer, we’re weird, we’re pointy-eared**
(Interesting occurences with elves, eh?)
**2006 Weight loss Club - November
Go to first new post I just ran 50 miles!!! …again **
That’s got to be good for a couple of pounds!
In GQ:
What is Hitler’s greatest fear?
Girl Scout Cookies
If only we’d known that during World War II!..
“Gentlemen, England expects that you will deliver these Thin Mints directly to the Eagle’s Lair. We need pinpoint accuracy. A successful raid could drive Hitler out of the Alps and shorten the war considerably.”
Where have these fundies been?
I pit taxi drivers
Let me testify, Brothers and Sisters, let me testify, of the journey I have taken to be where I am today. I have passed through traffic jams. I have passed through the gridlock of Satan. I have PASSED through the Valley of the Shadow of moving vans stalled out on the expressway. All because heathens from foreign lands are our taxi drivers. And they are our taxi drivers! And why? Because they are working AGAINST us, making us LATE…because we speak the word…the word!..of Jay-sus.
The driver wanted to IMPEDE us from speakin’ the WORD. Hoping he’d make us LATE, hopin’ he’d steal our TIME, hopin’ he’d just delay us from speaking the WORD. Delay us from our TESTAMENT. Delay us from our MISSION of bringing GOD’S WORD to the WORLD! The unjust, the heathen, the unsaved WORLD that so NEEDS the love…of GA-WAD.
Hoping to DELAY!!–DELAY!!–the deliverance of God’s mercy, God’s love, of GOD’S HOLY WORD–by taking the long road, the low road, the road that got us stuck in the Holland Tunnel for two hours behind an Ace Plumbing van. An Ace Plumbing van belchin’ out SMOKE from fire and brimstone, a plumbing van blarin’ out the DEVIL’s music! An Ace Plumbing van that knows no HOLINESS, no PEACE, no EVERLASTING LOVE!!..in the darkness of the Devil, the darkness of the tunnel that leads only to damnation. DAMNATION!!–with a six-dollar toll.
But the devil did NOT!!–Did NOT!!–win the day from us! NO!! For we are here, Lo, we are here. GLORY be to GOD, my brothers and sisters in Christ, for we are COME DOWN from the plumbing van of sin! We are COME DOWN from traffic jam of evil! We are COME DOWN from the yellow cab of Satan!! Lo, we are COME DOWN to you, ay GLORY HALLELUJAH, to spread God’s LOVE and EVERLASTING MERCY!!
Say HALLELUJAH!!
In Cafe Society:
**Robert Altman dead
Keeping Mash (cooking question) **
Good tribute
IMHO:
**All animals on earth versus all people on earth - who would win?
Half-naked children in restaurants? **
So are they animals or people?
Right above this thread:
**It’s going to be one of those days
Run Your Laptop On Piss
What is your favorite equation?
8 pounds of squalling fury
**
We’re queer, we’re weird, we’re pointy-eared
** George Michael - Overrated or what?**
passed on without comment.
**From whence comes your faith?
Three Babies, One Cake, And A Lot Of Plastic Sheeting **
*gives Scribble an Ay-men!