Hey man,
I’ve grown to love everyone on this board. Everyone, for better or worse, has something unique to say.
That said, I have a real hard time dealing with malicious, hateful people who hide behind the guise of anonymity.
I’m really sorry that people like you have to deal with stuff like that. You genuinely care, and I find that to be admirable.
Don’t let the assholes grind you down, OK?
Catch ya later, hopefully at a better time.
Not sure, truly, if this points to me, but if I’ve hurt Tonya, and therefor you, I’m sorry.
I will admit, freely and openly, that I relayed some gossip I had heard, but I only relayed it to her, directly. My concern was getting mis-understandings and outright BS sorted out.
Sadly, I found most, if not all, of the gossip was just that: mis-understandings and outright BS. I guess you’ll have that.
thinksnow,
Gossiping is a terrible thing to do, but it is worse to protect the gossipers. The only way to get “mis-understandings and outright BS sorted out” is to say who is spreading this vicious rumor so that we may shun them appropriately. I think you at least owe it to Nym to tell her who you heard this from (if you haven’t already done so). She deserves to know who the backstabbing, slime-sucking, goat-felching loser(s) is/are who feel(s) the need to pass judgment on her.
Why are you sad that the rumor was just a mis-understanding? Shouldn’t you be happy that the vicious label assigned to Nym by these faceless, spineless wimps was not true?
How can calling someone a whore or a slut be a “misunderstanding”? It is mean spirited name calling. How do you mistakenly think someone is a slut?! Ridiculous.
dpr and Nym don’t need the knowledge that this rumor was baseless. They knew that already. It’s just sad that people who should have dpr and Nym and their best interests at heart are only concerned with themselves and their egos.
dpr, NYM,
I frankly have no idea who you two are, BUT…
Anonymous harrasment is one of the lower forms of cowardice. May the perpetrators of this assault on the pair of you eat shit and live to taste it.
I’m not exactly sure where to start here. I feel I need to put something down as to where I am in all this, but I’m still a little drained. Bear with me friends and enemies, I might as well vent, too.
I’ve spent the past week thinking very hard about this board and what it means to me. For the last almost six months that I’ve been a member, I’ve made what I thought to be countless wonderful friends, and had what amounts to a friendly nodding acquaintance with many more. Having met a fair number of people IRL that I originally met online, I’ve never had the issue of real life vs. internet life. To say that it’s only a message board (with all due respect for Coldy, who always seems to have his heart and forked tongue in the proper place), does it little justice, I think. There’s a real, live person behind each and every one of the posts on this board, and every one of them has just as much power to charm me, make me laugh, make me think or make me cry as one of my IRL friends.
Having said that, I hope maybe you can understand a bit of how it felt to find out that people you know, people you care about, people you TRUST are saying ugly things about you.
I’ve never hidden my life or my lifestyle from the boards. There’s a lot of information about myself that I don’t volunteer, just because I’d hate to assume anyone is interested in something that might be frightfully boring for them. But I’ve never deliberately hidden things, nor have I lied. Anyone that knows me even a little here knows I’ve dated some dopers previously. Never been a secret. Hell, I’d post their names right here, but I don’t know how they would feel about it. I’ve certainly never hidden it from dpr. But, people, that’s why we call it dating. Do not automatically assume that because I’ve dated more than one person in the past six months that I have A) fucked them B) lied to them or C) left them a quivering, crying heap after I got my nasty, mean jollies from leading them on.
Furthermore (and get this, this’ll blow your MIND!), I have other friends that are guys! Not boyfriends, not dating partners, not Ummmmfriends. Friends. That are guys. That does NOT mean that I have…well, you know. See above. In the past week I have heard myself connected with every single male ChiDoper there is except Omni. I’m almost glad I changed my mind about Spiffled, or some motherfucker would have had me giving him blowjobs on the roadtrip before I even got back to Chi. Ridiculous. The mindset that made this brilliant, logical leap from ‘Nym has dated some dopers’ to ‘if you’re seen with Nym, you’re fucking Nym’ is almost my hero. It’s such a foreign form of brain usage, it’s like trying to guess what a turtle is thinking. Or Steve, the crocodile hunter.
So, enough rambling, let’s get to the point. I spent the past week crying. I spent the past week thinking I wasn’t good enough for dpr. I spent the past week cursing a lot of your names. And then I had a realization. This was staggering.
Here it is, hands on hats: I. Did. Not. Do. Anything. Wrong. Not. One. Fucking. Thing.
I can now stand up proudly and say, “My name is Nym, and I’m a DATER!” Nope, I don’t jump into a relationship. Nope, I don’t get deeply emotionally involved with people that I think might not be the best match. And no, I don’t give a rat FUCK who has a problem with that. I’ve heard I’m a slut, I use people, I’m emotionally stunted, I’m needy, and a lot of other, even worse things the past week. And you know what? FUCK you. Fuck you all. God bless the SD men that I dated, they were all wonderful. I still have fond feelings for all of them. Enjoyed my time and still care about them. But it wasn’t quite it. Be it timing, situation or what have you. And to be honest again, it’s none of your business why it ended. WE talked about it and WE worked it out. And I’ll tell you another thing, two of the three have sent me emails lending their support and affection. The other one posted in this thread.
Summation: I’m in love. I didn’t expect it, but I am. I’ve spent months talking to this wonderful man who quickly earned my utmost respect. He became one of my best friends. We talked throughout my dating these other men and he knows much more than any of you think you do, or could ever wish to. And in the back of my mind was always the hope that I could end up with someone just like him. Well, I trumped that. I ended up with him, and I couldn’t be happier. If, for some unfathomable reason, we don’t work out, it will NOT be because you threw your petty arsenal at him. It will NOT be because he believed you, or doubted me. It’ll be what goes on between he and I, and it will STILL not be any of your business. Never was, never will be. So, I can only give one more statement before I exhaust myself. Fuck you. Sincerely. I mean that from the depths of my being. He and I both know who you are, and we’re done caring. You can still expect me to be polite because I’ve used up my vitriol here, but the friendship I used to extend to you is gone now, and I know that that is most definitely your loss. I’m even sure that a lot of you are going to use the word ‘friendship’ to try to excuse your behaviour. Believe me, this only proves how little you know about the meaning of that word.
For the people that have lent us support, I thank you so much. I’ve gotten so many emails in the past week, I don’t even know how to tell you what they mean to me. This thread, the other thread in SIMS, all of it. I’m truly overwhelmed. You all are part of the reason that I was able to pull myself up and shake off my malaise. For someone that has stuck mostly to fluff on the boards, it’s been a little daunting to see my life up here. Thank you for welcoming it. We’ve both been so gratified by the kindess so many of you have shown. It’s wonderful to be reminded how many good people there are out there.
Holy cats, didn’t this shit stop in middle school?
This is two people now I know of on these boards who have been deeply hurt by others on here putting them in the “slut” bin.
I mean, damn, if she’s not (ANY she) currently fucking YOU, fuck OFF!
Just for the record, I’ve talked to dpr a good little bit and flirted my ass off with him…and couldn’t be more thrilled! You like someone, you want them to be happy, RIGHT?
And talk about not having anything better to do with your life…I read the boards a lot more than is evident in the amount that I post, but I’d managed to miss all the stuff about Nymysys being the Bride of the Regiment. And platoon, and detachment, and eastern seaboard apparently.
I guess I’m fortunate that I’m cold and off-putting at the events I’ve attended, or I might have people making hang-up calls to Tark about MY sluttish ways…BASED ON GOSSIP ON THE BOARDS. Fortunately (or unfortunately), I have dealt with low-minded, low-browed, brainless, spineless, witless wastes of skin and oxygen like this MANY times…usually living in the same town as me, and I know how to ignore them.
There’s also the good fortune I have in having been married for 8 years…if he were called about me, he’d KNOW what was bullshit. I can’t believe there are people out there from a FUCKING MESSAGE BOARD trying to sabotage a REAL-LIFE RELATIONSHIP while it’s still GETTING OFF THE FUCKING GROUND.
Don’t you people have anything better to do? Walk around telling little kids there’s no Santa Claus, Easter Bunny, or Tooth Fairy? Yeah, that should be their parent’s responsibility, but hell, you’re just trying to do the RIGHT THING, right? Right? Right, you random whirling asshole?
Of course we have a lovely group of people here. Of course it’s wonderful that dpr and Nymsys are hitting it off.
When I say “It’s just a message board”, I am particularly referring to the low theshold this place provides. Some people will be assholes. They’re jealous, or just plain mean. They like to provoke, perhaps. That’s the sort of people that bothered you. Places like the SDMB, and in fact the entire anonimity of the Internet, provide these people with a fence. They can sling the insults, and watch as you go berserk over them.
They’re not worth it. And for your own sanity, it’s good to remember where these people with their hurtful comments came from: “just a message board”. They’re not your RL friends. If I disappoint anyone by this line of reasoning, so be it. I truly enjoy this place and the friends it’s provided me with. And I truly enjoy the fact that assholes are easier to ignore here than IRL.
What, did I piss somebody off again?
I read shit like this and automatically feel guilty. Does everyone know the offending parties except me???
Who the hell are we talking about here???
[quote]
Don’t you people have anything better to do?
Your immature schoolyard antics, so thoughtlessly aired have deeply hurt another human being. .
And you know what? FUCK you. Fuck you all
[quote]
Who???
spooje, I don’t think it’s important that we have names. The offenders know who there and I think it’s pretty classy that dpr and Nym have not named them publicly, even if the bastards do deserve to be publicly flogged.
Well, they may be too classy to name names, but I sure as hell am not. If someone in the know wants to drop me an email…
[Inquisition]An Auto-da-Fé? What’s an Auto-da-Fé?[/Inquisition]
Someone needs a good public torching.
I’m pissed. I’m shockingly declassé. I love playing with fire.
Will the offender step up to the pyre, or do I have to hunt him down myself?
So, I wandered into dpr’s MPSIMS thread (I liked the subject line). I got some warm fuzzies. Then, y’know, his username was kinda on my radar screen, I opened this thread. Now, as often can be the case with the SDMB, I feel like I know all this stuff about someone’s life…who I kind of only associate with three letters (I have similar feelings about Euty’s sex life.).
But I also feel like, having peered into someone’s life, I shouldn’t leave the thread without saying anything. (Aren’t you glad that everyone who posts doesn’t have to give this kinda preamble, all full of parentheticals?)
Nym, as a complete stranger, I have to say your post rocked. I hope you’ve kinda vented your spleen and given the boot to the false friends and can now move forward, with great happiness. I’m happy for you and dpr, just ‘cos it’s nice for folx to share happiness. Just enjoy what ya have, sweetie, and don’t give into to others’ demands that you justify your happiness or actions, past, present or future. I wish you luck and joy.
–moi
NYM –
IMHO, that’s your problem, right there. Look, some people on a message board will not feel constrained to exercise the judgment and good manners they would use in real life, because they don’t have to. Some people will be jerks just because they can and, with the Magic Cloak of Anonymity, there will be few if any consequences. This is a sign of immaturity, no matter how old the poster, but it shouldn’t surprise you.
People have as much “power” over you as you grant to them. I too have laughed, cried, thought, and been charmed by this message board, but that doesn’t mean I would necessarily give much weight to unsolicited opinions given about my personal life, whether those opinions were positive or negative. I’m glad you realize you haven’t done anything wrong and I hope you also realize that you don’t owe anyone here an explanation or an excuse for how you live your life. (And, for that matter, you would not owe anyone any such explanation even if you had done something “wrong” – it’s none of their business.)
As I said: Live well and be happy; that will be the best revenge.
Even me?
Heck, Nym, if we’ve been involved and I can’t remember it, I am going to be soooo pissed!
Good luck, Nym. Good luck, DPR. While I’m generally skeptical about romances that begin online, I’m currently living with my lady love I met on the net. So what do I know?
Just a thought - as far as I’m concerned, Nymysys said everything that needs to be said (that is, that this is none of anybody’s business). I agree, and I’m leaving this thread. Best wishes to dpr and Nymysys.
That’s so beautiful…Congratulations to both of you!
I’m sorry to hear about this. That’s fucked up. I don’t think you, nym (or dpr) need to make any further comments on the issue. But it is an unfortunate reality of being rather open with aspects of your personal life on the message board. These things can and sometimes do happen. This is the one security of keeping matters more private. Aside, look at it this way, you found out someone was not what they seemed to be and you have a better vision of who your true friends are.
No, No, No, No.
Sorry. This was motivated by anger and frustration. As long as Nym and dpr know the source, that is all that matters.
Hopefully now we can all move on and let the happy couple drown in molasses and sugar. 
First: Nym, dpr, from me your get the same response that I have to everybody’s relationships, “whatever”.
So far as I know, neither of you are married and both of you are adults so I certainly have no opinion on your relationship. I don’t know you personally so I have no opinion on its prospects. I find it difficult to worry about people other than myself so I have not specific hopes for your future.
Have fun, enjoy yourself is all I can say.
Considering my history of ghoulish inappropriateness I will ask this: Would you two like to be the pilot couple in my Doper Relationship Pool scheme? You might make enough to by a new rice cooker (everybody always needs a new rice cooker).
Now, the “not on the boards” source of this conflict is pretty obvious. Normally I would go there myself to get things explained to me, but until my Northpoint issues are resolved I can’t do that. Assuming I am correct about the source, could someone familiar with the details email me and tell me what the hell happened?
Your glaringly goulish inapporpriateness is part of your charm, ob. IIRC, dpr and I talked about this little scheme when you first broached it in the forum-that-shall-not-be-named. Perhaps I shouldn’t speak for dpr, but we seemed to think volunteering to be the test case was pretty amusing at the time. As far as I’m concerned, sign us up. Are you posting a thread somewhere? I’ve forgotten the details.
Besides that, we need the cash. Flying from one side of the world to the other is NOT getting any cheaper. 
Well, heck. I spent almost an hour with Nymysys in the airport in Chicago. Does that mean that we were dating? Damn. She didn’t fuck me… :rolleyes:
But seriously. I don’t know what has transpired, as I’ve been busy lately and haven’t been in chat or on the boards. I’ve kinda pieced it together from this thread. After seeing this, I’m glad I wasn’t around for this.
Nym, I’m sorry your faith in people you thought were your friends has been shattered. I know you, you’re strong and determined and know what you want–you go get it, girl. You and dpr are made for each other. And yes, I mean that as a compliment.
Keep your heads up, my friends.