I think I’d take him out back and neuter him. With any sharp or semi-sharp item available.
Or spay, I can never keep those straight.
Your line:
“Many, many people love, want, and couldn’t imagine life without their children. And still sometimes want to lock them in the basement.”
cite:
I Wonder How Many People Secretly Despise Their Kids?
When you understand how people can feel both love and loathing for their own children simultaneously, then think about having kids of your own.