Tell me your best get rich quick scheme.

Advertise in the back of survivalist and similar magazines that you can neutralize the chip that the govt. puts in everybody’s butt. Then put together a wand with some spare electronics and make sure it has a prominant LED. When your customers come in pass the device over their bodies and press a button, making the LED light up. Tell them that you’ve located the chip, and you can either neutralize it in place or remove it through a very painful surgical procedure. When they choose to neutralize it take out gizmo # 2, which should vibrate or do something cool. Hold the gizmo over the “chip” and then demonstrate that the light no longer comes on using gizmo # 1. Collect their money and give them a money-back guarantee that if a working chip is ever found in their butt you will refund their fee.

Once this business is making money, franchise it.

Start up a regular poker night in college. Make sure at least one of the regulars is in a fraternity. Play once a week for about 3 months. Then, offer to play at the regular’s frat house. When they say yes, be sure to schedule it for a Friday or Saturday night. Once at the frat house, invite anyone else to play that wants to.

Within about 4 hours, you will cycle through about 30 drunk guys that lose all of their money. Makes approx. $300 a night for all sober people. Apply this money to your tuition, fees, and books. Save the rest for mutual funds.

Not all college learnin’ involves book learnin’.


Have you voted for your favorite, huggable Mullinator today?

Two Words!

Internet Startup!


-Frankie

“Mother Mercy, can your loins bear fruit forever?/Is your fecundity a trammel or a treasure?”
-Bad Religion

Idea #1: Hoard all the gold you can. Then detonate a nuclear device at Fort Knox. All the gold at Fort Knox will become radioactive and untouchable, thus forcing up the price of gold. Sell your gold at the inflated prices.

Idea #2: Go up to Mike Tyson, Stone Cold Austin, Sean Penn, or any well-known personality with a hot temper. Taunt them “yo’ mama is so ugly…” until they strike you. Sue them for damages incurred during the assault.

Idea #3: International playboy. Get a tan, take cruises, meet rich and lonely people, be nice to them, wait until one of them mentions you in their will, then help them “accidentally” fall overboard.

Idea #4: Write a clever and satirical syndicated column in which you answer humanity’s vexing questions.

I forgot Idea #5:

Go to a city with horrendous traffic, e.g. Los Angeles.

Get five friends and have them buy junker cars. Drive on a busy freeway at rush hour, and get all your cars to occupy all the lanes (including shoulders) on the freeway. All slow down and stop at the same time, set the cars on fire, and run away. Result: the biggest, most horrendous traffic jam ever seen in that city.

Send a letter to the city council, threatening to repeat your terrorist act unless they pay US$100,000,000, in small, unmarked bills.

Arnold Winkelried: Idea #2: Go up to Mike Tyson, Stone Cold Austin, Sean Penn, or any well-known personality with a hot temper. Taunt them “yo’ mama is so ugly…” until they strike you. Sue them for damages incurred during the assault.

Heck, just drive around Montgomery County in the hopes of Iron Mike not liking how you drive. Granted, his street fights are slight more violent than his title bouts (he goes for the balls instead of the ears), but for a couple million, some might take a hit to the cajones.


Wrong thinking is punished, right thinking is just as swiftly rewarded. You’ll find it an effective combination.

I always wanted to try the following:

Put this ad in a nationally distributed newspaper:
*

and see how many people send the money. Since the ad promises nothing for their “investment”, I’d be under no obligation to return it if they complained. Nor would they bother to take it to court for a measily $25.

I think there was a UL like this. But there’s enough gullible people out there that just might make it worthwhile.


Wrong thinking is punished, right thinking is just as swiftly rewarded. You’ll find it an effective combination.

lets see $25…

AWB
PO Box 666
Alexandria, Va

What was that ZIp Code again??


-Frankie

“Mother Mercy, can your loins bear fruit forever?/Is your fecundity a trammel or a treasure?”
-Bad Religion

  1. Advertise in the back of magazines for a remedy to roach infestation, guaranteed 100%, only $25. When the remedy arrives, it turns out to be two lengths of 2x4 labelled ‘A’ and ‘B’ and a xeroxed sheet which says,“Place roach on part A. Strike forecefully with part ‘B’. Repeat as necessary”.
  2. Identify all the discarded-cardboard bins behind grocery stores, bars, etc. Make regular rounds with a pickup truck and collect the cardboard. Unload each time truck is filled. Each time it rains, load cardboard back into the pickup and soak it thoroughly with a garden hose. Take to recycling center where they pay you on the difference in total vehicular weight between when you drive up and after the board is unloaded.
  3. ‘Kidnap’ the kid of the owner of the most local McDonald’s franchises. Pick a day when business can expect to be highest. Require as ransom all funds taken in by the franchisee’s stores on one afternoon. Have it turn out that you simply had some hot little thing waylay the kid for the afternoon, so that there is no real charge of ‘kidnapping’ possible if caught; at most, extortion and fraud. Also, do it in such a way that the franchisee will look like an idiot if the truth comes out.

Frolix, that’s the funniest think I’ve read all day! You’ll be rich!

I usually go around kidnapping cats and dogs. Then when the owner advertises a reward, I take 'em back and claim the prize.


“A bird in the hand is the Devil’s workshop; it is the goose that laid the bad apple.” - TennHippie

I heard a brilliant one on the radio the other day.

I wish I could remember the name of the company, because they said they had a web site and I could provide a link.

But anyway, for a nominal fee, you can get a star named after you or a loved one. As in, the twinkling things you see up in the sky at night.

Don’t know how they let you know exactly which star is yours, but the commercial said it is registered ‘with the U.S. copyright office.’

Wait a minute here … you can copyright anything that’s written. That doesn’t mean that the astronomy community is going to call that star ‘The John Doe star.’

What a scam! This is Brooklyn Bridge-selling at its finest.

So, anyone want a grain of Lake Michigan beach sand named after them? Send me $10, and I’ll send you a genuine hand-written certificate and a map …


“You should tell the truth, expose the lies and live in the moment.” - Bill Hicks

Keith, I’ve heard of that before and just found a couple of links to organizations promoting this very activity.

Starwishing and Off-Planet.

It looks like they just list your name in their registry along with the current numerical designation. You do get a fancy piece of parchment, though.

“Flesh” colored band-aids for black people.


If chickens could pee, they would be wet on the bottom.

Oh yeah, .cc domain names.


If chickens could pee, they would be wet on the bottom.

Lemmee see. Hmm. yeah, this should work.

  1. Put all the men on one island.

  2. Put all the women on another island.

  3. Open a ferry line business.


A. Open a whorehouse.

B. To reduce overhead, run it by hand.


I don’t have to do drugs to mess up my head. I went to Catholic school.

If everyone were rich, where would all the money come from?

If you want to get rich, become a lawyer.

"We all know that the people who get ahead in life are the people with experience. Doctors, lawyers, government officials, top business executives all have one thing in common. It’s not education; it’s not connections; it’s not even intelligence. No, it is that ephemeral quality experience. Ask any rich man what is the most important quality you must have to get rich, and he will tell you. That’s right, it is personal experience.

"The trouble is, how does an ordinary man or woman like you or me come by experience? You can’t get it in the store. You can’t order it through a catalog. You can’t learn it in school. You won’t find it among your friends, or in some tedious job where a person’s inner potential is never truly recognized and appreciated.

"To gain this powerful quantity - experience - you have to look AROUND. You have to OPEN YOUR EYES and make the conscious decision to seek out experience wherever it may be found. It won’t come to you by itself, if you sit and do nothing. You have to say to yourself, ‘Today I will take charge of the experiences of my life and shape them to my will’. If you are the type of person who can make this decision, and really mean it, then you are the kind of person I am looking for.

"I can help you to find the experience that you, like all men and women, need and crave. I was once a nobody; down and out. I was at the bottom of the barrel. But then, by paying close attention to my own personal experiences I was able to start again and overcome the things that had been holding me down. Now, I want to pass some of my experience on to you!

"But don’t come to me thinking this is just another get-rich-quick scheme like all the rest. You have to do some work, here - I can’t figure your entire life out for you. I can’t tell you what kind of money you need to live the way you want, or what that girl or guy you’ve had your eye on wants in a mate. I can’t tell you who, if anyone, is disrespecting you behind your back. These are things for you to figure out. But one thing is sure, you’re never going to do it without experience.

"If you want to reach out for that star, and start down the road to the life you’ve always wanted, then I can provide you with that magical quantity, experience. But this is your journey. I can’t, and in fact I won’t, tell you any more here. If you want to gain the powerful experience I am selling, you have to find the strength of will to make a commitment, right now, today. A committment to keeping your eyes open to your own experiences and really determining to be prepared. Prepared to swallow those experiences whole when they appear.

"Where I come in is, I can guarantee you will receive just the sort of life experience that wise men and women all over the globe have received in the past, and have used as a step on the road to wisdom. All you have to do is send $39.99 by check or money order to APB9999 c/o The Straight Dope Message Board Consumer Advice Department, Chicago Reader, Chicago, Illinois. Believe me, when you receive your experience it will be like a light coming on! A light that will illuminate your whole life! Take it from one who’s been there many times himself. Remember, you are guaranteed to recieve an important experience. If not fully satisfied, you can contact me at the same address.

"Don’t hesitate. Now is the time to start looking at everything through new eyes, through the eyes of …

                   **EXPERIENCE**.

Here’s a legal and realistic way that several people have become rich quickly.

There is a fairly new internet company that pays people to have a small window at the bottom of the screen while they surf the websites that they enjoy.

The small window displays paid advertisements of various companies.

The internet company pays a small amount of money to you for every hour of the month that you surf while having their window on your screen (up to a predetermined limit of hours). You will not get rich doing this. You will instead make a small amount of money, perhaps a few hundred dollars per year.

Here is how you get rich. The internet company pays you for the hours that are surfed by the people that you recruit you do this. They also pay you for the hours that are surfed by the people that are recruited by your recruits (up to about 4 levels).

For example, a person in Texas that started in April recruited 15,819 people, who in turn recruited 20,867 people. A person from Kansas recruited 13 people, who in turn recruited 22,457 people.

If the Texas person was fortunate enough that all of the 36K+ people surfed their monthly maximum, then the Texas person made more than $65,000 for one month. Of course some number of the recruits probably don’t surf the maximum hours or may not even surf at all, but even if only half of them did, the Texan made more than $30,000 in one month…in a years time close to $400K…

The person from Kansas is looking at about $28,000 if everyone participates and again, using the “maybe only half really surf” model, the person from Kansas is still looking more than $100,000 per year…

Of course it is possible that the recruitment numbers continue to climb for these two people…

I hear that there are about 4 million people involved with this in 8 different countries, so it looks like it is still a relatively ground-floor opportunity.

Not everyone is going to have the drive or the luck to build up a large referal network as the two examples that I’ve cited. I do however personally know of a couple of people that have received a monthly check in the hundreds of dollars and there is someone that is very close to me that has received 2 checks already for around $40.

Sounds like a pretty good get rich quick idea to me, especially considering it doesn’t cost a cent. Oh, and did I mention that it is legal, the company is legitimate, and the company is being run by former heads of Fortune 500 companies?

If you are interested in knowing more you are gonna have to figure it out for yourself because I don’t want to name the company or the link to their site because some people could be offended or think that I’m spamming. I will not answer requests for more information. I consider this post and all content herein to have been in answer to the OP.


Krispy Original – The original SDMB bad boy

No, Krispy, the trick is not to get involved with one of those internet pyramid scams as a customer, but to start one of them. You agree to pay a penny an hour to the person for when he surfs, plus a half a penny for each person he recruits, then a half of a half for each one they recruit.

Think about it! You get a whole lot of companies advertisements and charge them for how much time their ads are up, and make sure that it’s more than a penny an hour. See where this is going?

Just remember to alter the numbers of your scam so that people will actually go for it, and just so long as you charge those companies more money by the hour than you pay to the surfers, you’re rolling in cash.

The best part is, you don’t have to do ANY work! Just steal someone else’s money-surfing program, stick in your own ads, and you’re money!


I sold my soul to Satan for a dollar. I got it in the mail.