Oh my. Watching the dancers in comically amusing green clown outfits, I find myself both horrified and kinda turned on at the same time. This better not turn up in my dreams tonight.
For a song that’s awful on both musical and moral grounds, “Into the Night” by Benny Mardones (a hit in both 1980 and 1989).
“She’s just sixteen years old, leave her alone” is the first line, it get worse…
…and that’s even if you’ve never seen the video.
Works best with “Chuck”.
Novelty song.
I like a lot of these songs, and love a few of them. Even the worst ones don’t begin to scrape the awfulness of treacle songs from the 60s and 70s.
“Jean”, by Rod McKuen
Herb Alpert’s “This Guy’s in Love with You”
“Knock Three Times” by Tony Orlando & Dawn
“Dizzy” by Tommy Roe
“Honey” by Bobby Goldsboro
“(You’re) Having My Baby” by Paul Anka and Odia Coates
What’s worse than these songs? That every one was a number one Billboard hit, except “Jean.” That almost slipped by, but no, Oliver took it to number one on the Adult Contemporary charts.
Any time you young’uns like to rail against classic rock, put these on and remember these were the alternative.
Something about the voice kinda sets my teeth on edge.
Did the band really need three keyboard players?
Do you know what Chuck Berry song was the only one to reach Number 1 on the Billboard Hot 100 in the United States?
“My Ding-a-Ling” I find the song incredible annoying.
If they had three keyboards, yeah.
Here’s an SCTV clip featuring Dave Thomas as Richard Harris singing MacArthur Park on Mel’s Rockpile (SCTV’s American Bandstand parody.
Spoiler: An audience member beans “Richard” with a brick.
Obvious song not yet listed: “My Humps” by Black Eyed Peas. No explanation necessary.
Semi-obvious: “Let 'Em In” by Paul McCartney and Wings. Without John and the other Beatles to hold him in check, Paul put out some serious stinkers. He even brought Michael Jackson down with “Ebony and Ivory”.
Song only I may hate: “Black Water” by the Doobie Brothers. Can’t stand the singing, and the fiddle/violin combined with the other instruments might be my most hated instrumental passage of all time.
I’ll nominate Honey, by Bobby Goldsboro. I think there was a notable spike in suicides when that song came out.
Along the same line…Teen Angel by Mark Dinning.
And two of the big reasons I hate Christmas, because these pieces of shit get played constantly: Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree, and Jingle Bell Rock.
I hate the many many repitions in that song. Yes, it is bad.
Bearing in mind that “Seasons in the Sun” was popular during the same era as the streaking fad, our parody lyrics were:
We had joy, we had fun
We went streaking in the sun
But the cops, yes they saw us
And they shot us in the buns
I nominate “Ring My Bell”, “Pop Muzik”, “Fly Robin Fly”, etc.
Also, why is “Turn the Page” so idolized by many? It’s just Bob whining and bragging. All Bob’s hits seem to be Bob whining and bragging. “Like a Rock” and “Against the Wind” are even whinier and braggier. I have never understood Seger’s appeal.
Hey, not necessarily. I went to a show where this chick sat between a piano and a keyboard and some of the time she was playing both at once.
♫ To-night you’ll have the strangest dream ♬ . . .
Warrant, “Cherry Pie”
There were lots of really bad hair metal songs back in the day, but only this one is famous for the lead singer saying, in retrospect: “I could shoot myself in the head for writing that song!”
Jason and Maeby do not too bad a job of it.
Actually I take exception to that, and will force Daryl Dragon’s E-mu modular synthesizer on you, simply to terrorize you, for revenge.
Written by one Willis Allen Ramsey, it was originally titled Muskrat Candlelight, which I think sounds better, more appropriate.
Call me a muffin, but I have no problem with the verses - I think they’re actually quite legitimately fine, in the minor key.
HOWEVER…
The chorus? I could not agree with you more. The worst, most shmaltzy reconstituted barf, ever. As a wee’un I always went, “I just called, to say, you’re ug-ly.”
I could put together a nice big list that would probably bend a couple noses out of shape, so, I’ll just…mosey…along…
ETA: Rod McEwen was mentioned somewhere earlier.
I wish he wasn’t.
I guess this ETA isn’t helping.
I went to Girl Scout camp while that song was still on the charts, and the counselors told us that it wasn’t about that, or picnicking at the local park (out in public on a blanket, anyway!). 
How about “Convoy”?
Yeah, 1976 was a year of bad songs, why do you ask?