Terrible songs that never deserved to be hits

Well, yes, in a literal sense, sure. I just wasn’t aware that there were any pop songs written with three keyboard parts.

The Dave Berry is strong in this thread.

What the heck, it that spirit I’ll throw out “Timothy” by The Buoys.

And for the record they were only down in that mine for an hour, two tops.

You weren’t rubbing sticks together to make sparks ignite?

Between the Beatles, the Beach Boys, Harry Nilsson, and various other 60s and 70s psychedelica with many complex overdubbed tracks, there are undoubtedly songs that feature some combination of three different keyboard instruments.

That was Stevie Wonder. It was with “The Girl Is Mine” that McCartney brought down Michael Jackson.

That was Stevie Wonder. The Michael Jackson duets were “Say, say, say” and “The girl is mine” - both horrible, especially the latter.

Edited to add: Beaten to it!

I wonder what it says about our relative politics that I like about 95% of the songs listed.

Re “Break My Stride”, I agree with the commenter who said he could watch those girls dance all day. Dayum, what physiques!

Stood not one foot away from Marilyn McCoo in an airport gift shop one day in 1971. ‘Dayum’ doesn’t begin to describe that experience! She was far and away one of the best looking women I’ve ever seen in my life. Beautiful and adorable all at the same time. Much better looking than in that clip, which was 12 years or so later.

How could you NOT link to his follow-up, “The Kid’s American?”

Missed the edit window. Matthew Wilder looks like Allen Covert in “The Wedding Singer.”

Good Morning Starshine. Top 10 all over the world. I blame it for the sudden onslaught of Type 2 diabetes.

It’s the high notes. If she hadn’t done the high notes it wouldn’t have been such a hit. But honestly I find it giddy-sweet but not saccharine. It’s auditory afterglow.

Politics?

She was a member of the Rotary Connection, and their cover of “Respect” is pretty cool. Does that count?

I love it. It’s cute but in a good way IMO and the melody’s really strong. I find the bit that goes “But try as hard as I might do, I don’t know why” simply arresting.

Funk Soul Brother. The song evidently consists of the lyric “Check it out now, funk soul brother!” repeated over and over.

The song is “Rockefeller Skank” by Fatboy Slim if it’s the one I’m thinking of. It also contains the lyric “Right about now, the funk soul brother.” The nteresting thing is he got no royalties for the song. There were four samples on it, and each artist received 25% royalties in order to clear the sample for use.

The thing one has to remember about “Copacabana” is that it was supposed to be a throwaway novelty song. If you hate it, take some comfort in that Manilow also hates it and yet has been forced to keep singing it in concerts for forty years.

Bite your tongue. Dolly and Dolly’s version are both awesome. Whitney Houston’s version, however, is irritating af. But it does give me a chance to tell this joke:

Q. What was Whitney Houston’s favourite form of coordination?
A. HAND-EEEEEYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYEEEEE

Now imagine it being sung by Rick from Rick and Morty. Better, no?

My own offering in this thread is “Life” by Des’ree, featuring this deathless piece of writing:

Really, there just aren’t enough references to toast in modern songwriting in my opinion. But wait - it really picks up in the chorus!

Amazing stuff.

I don’t think that lyrically it’s that bad a song, I just think it doesn’t work the way Dr. Hook did it (bizarre vibrato). The cover that Herman Brood did I think works much better with the lyrics.
I’m surprised that Run Joey Run hasn’t been nominated. God what a nails on the blackboard voice of the female singing “daddy please don’t”.

And Fatboy Slim gave us one of the world’s greatest videos. Behold “Weapon of Choice.”

And adding to my previous post, Manilow didn’t even want to record the song in the first place. He saw the problem with the song right away, stating, "“The problem with the song was that if you didn’t listen carefully to the lyric, you would think that the singer was singing about himself. It could be misinterpreted as a monumental ego trip.”