Different values? Bwah? Values have nothing to do with it. Throw courtesy and manners out the window if you like, fine and peachy. If you’re such a special flower where you need validation and attention 24/7 knock yourself out. Multi- task all you want, I for one will spend my time elsewhere.
Well, you know, now you’re talking about Twitter, and those folks are DEAD TO ME! 
Really, though, I think I have a much more casual approach to dating than some. It doesn’t strike me as bothersome if someone fiddles with silverware or turns toward the restaurant’s TV or sends a text or otherwise just isn’t wholly focused on me. I get a funny (and exaggerated. I’m not accusing anyone of believing this) picture in my head of two people staring at each other throughout a date, wondering who will be the first to blink and get sent packing.
Me: Oh no, my eyeballs are getting dry. But if I blink, he’ll think I’m not interested!
Him: I think I’m actually having a heart attack, but I’m afraid to check.
I mean, there’s some area between that and the dudes who can’t make eye contact. We just differ exactly where we think a comfortable spot is.
See, this is the sort of idiocy I don’t get. How in the hell can you be discourteous to someone if you’re both on the same page? I have said, and stand by, the fact that I wouldn’t assume this was OK with someone else, and would not do this to someone who was bothered by it. But according to a statement like yours, I’m insulting – who…society? – by sending a text during a date even if my date takes absolutely no issue with it.
You taking offense on behalf of someone who doesn’t want it, and insulting me at the same time (“special flower”? really?) – I’m not even sure what to do with that. But as you said, you’ll be spending time elsewhere, so I’ll consider it irrelevant.
You don’t think courtesy and manners are “values”?
You are not this stupid. The fact that you value a certain form of courtesy is, duh, a value. The fact that you determine that a certain thing is rude, while the other person doesn’t, is, again, a value judgement. The fact that you responded in this manner shows you aren’t merely saying “different strokes for different folks”, but actively treating an entire class of people as inferior. As I doubt you’re this rude all the time, if you value courtesy so much.
I don’t comprehend letting a single thing be a deal breaker. I personally don’t like it if someone texts while I’m dating them. But I’m not going to make a value judgement on them. In fact, I’m not even going to assume that we’re incompatible. It’s one thing. They could otherwise be the most compatible person in the world. The fact that so many other people can not care indicates that I can get over it, if it’s worth it.
To instead assume that we absolutely cannot be compatible–that would be prejudice. I’d be judging them before I’d had enough information about them. Most of you seem to be assuming a lot about the person just because they do one thing you consider rude. Ever think of, say, communicating that you find it so offensive, and giving them a chance to do it differently? No, you’re just going to get up, maybe be violent to them, and leave.
And you’re supposed to be the good people?
I’d consider it a blessing 
Dopers insult you so I don’t have to. It’s win-win!
Who has espoused violence here? Even the guy you admonished just said he’d leave such a person to their own devices (heh, that’s funny).
For a 1st or 2nd date situation, I’m not interested in stepping into the role of The Nag. Sure, I could ask them to quit. Just like I could tell them to do anything else that is a turn off. For instance, if I go out with someone who thinks there’s nothing rude or unseemly about eating pasta and steak with his hands, odds are I’m going to be too turned off to date him anymore. So correcting his behavior would be a waste of my time and energy. I’d only do this if I was attracted to him and wanted to see him again.
I once went out with a guy who for some reason thought it was be cool to walk in on me while I was using the toilet. Now sure, maybe he didn’t know this was rude behavior. But his failure to know this is a big frickin’ deal. It’s a red flag that he has some profound gaps in common sense that are incompatible with what I’m seeking in a mate.
To me, texting throughout a date is no much different than any other rude behavior. And it’s never wrong to judge someone by how they conduct themselves.
Only a special flower could look at things in such a positive light. I am positively beaming. 
Please tell me you are not checking or responding to texts while at the movies. That is extreamly rude to everyone around you. That little green screen is very distracting in a dark theatre and pulls everyone around you out of the movie. If you do that KNOCK IT OFF. If not, as you were.
(PS: I wasn’t saying that not being around YOU would be a blessing. I meant having that other person who is wants to dictate what is right and wrong for all of us who said they wouldn’t stick around. You sound just fine)
I was right there with you – no worries.
I think you will find that the higher you rise in an organization, the more available you have to be to address more important isues.
That said, for some reason people have this bizzare sense of urgency whenever their stupid Blackberry goes off. Yes, got forbid you pay attention to the person who actually took time out of their busy day to physically spend time with you.
So if I’m on a first date, I’m tolerant if you have to answer the occassional critical email. If you are distracted by that thing all night, I’m going to cut the date short and you can reschedule when you don’t have that proposal due in the morning (if I feel like it).
Not to mention weddings and funerals. “Rude” isn’t strong enough for that.
Is this sarcasm?
On first reading, I was sure it was a rather funny, over the top parody, but based on the replies, I can’t tell.
reads a few pages of thread
backs away slowly
But, errm, for me, once is totally fine. Twice is annoying but not a deal-breaker. Anything more than three that are not for work/emergency reasons approach total turn-off territory.
I thought you said upthread that your SO and/or friends weren’t bothered by your phone use and/or drifting attention. I personally consider the described behavior a shortcoming and rudeness. I am glad we each have different people with whom we can associate. That’s all I meant. Not sure how you read “guilt” into it.
I have asked a young lady out (I wish) and she has agreed to come out with me. That person is the centre of my attention at the time and it is manners to court said person. Not to answer idiot texts asking if you are getting a knee trembler.
I said that I pretty much don’t use my phone. I currently don’t know how to answer mine. As for drifting attention, yeah. Sorry that my mind is not 100% focused on the people I’m with 100% of the time. If you say that yours is, well, I’ll be forced to believe you. But I’ve never met anyone in my life like that.
How is there not “guilt” when you’re accusing me of shortcomings and rudeness?
“Hi! Yeah, I’m just at a funeral. Fred Peters - did you know him? Big guy, really loud, always staring down your shirt - yeah, that guy. Yeah, he’s dead now. I KNOW! I thought he’d die from all that weight years ago, too! Hold on, some guy at the front of the room is motioning at me for some reason…”