This is said to veterans and first responders. Is this said to others also? Who would they be? It’s been discussed before, but for suggested replies none have ever felt right to me. Here’s a reply that feels right to me and I’m going to start using it: “Thank you for your support.” What do you think? How do you reply? If you thanked someone for their service and they replied with thank you for your support, how would you feel?
“Thank you for your service”: here’s a reply. How do you reply? (Veterans, first responders, others)
I wouldn’t mind hearing "Thank you for your support”, but I’d also be perfectly happy with any of these:
- thank you
- appreciate it
- (a simple nod and smile)
One of my sisters gave Dad a baseball cap emblazoned with “WWII VET” and the name of his ship. He didn’t care for all the attention the hat brought at first but he eventually settled on the nod, smile, and/or wave thing.
There’s a base down the road from my store so we get a lot of Air Force people in stopping in for lunch, in full (camo) uniforms, as well as a lot of cops. I hear someone say ‘thank you for your service’ from time to time and the reply typically seems to be a semi-awkward ‘thank you’ and/or nod.
Assuming the person doesn’t thrive on those types of comments, I’d guess most of them hear it often enough that, if nothing else, it gets old. Like a cashier hearing the same joke 3 times a day.
I’m in the “nod and smile” school.
I’ve worked on a military base for over 15 years now and I have yet to meet a single active-duty or veteran who cares even a little bit that you’re thankful for their service. They’d really rather you just say nothing, honestly.
Same goes here. But what do you do when it is said? That’s my predicament.
I’m a teacher so, “Thank you for your service.” usually comes out as a variation of, “Go fuck yourself.”
I work heavily with a youth baseball program, and I essentially say that all the time to our coaches. “Thank you for helping with the youth of our community.”
[slight hijack] I was selling Boy Scout Popcorn with my son outside of a grocery store. We had a bucket there to collect small cash donations for the Popcorn for the Troops (no one ever bought a full version themselves for $50; lots of people wanted to donate a buck or two rather than buy a $20 caramel corn, so this served dual purposes). A vet, don’t remember which service or what action they may have seen, went on a rant about “Thank you for your service” when he was just doing his job etc. “No one ever says ‘Thank you for your haircut’!” He then went into the store. When he came out, I made sure to thank him for his haircut. He laughed (but didn’t buy any popcorn).[/hijack]
ETA - I like the “Thank you for your support”, or just a simple “Thank you.”
Yeah, that’s the sort of thing Dad did when he first started wearing his cap.
Personally, I tend not to say “Thank you for your service” to random servicemembers except if we happen to be talking about their service, or they’re thanking me for jumping in to buy them a coffee, or something like that.
It just feels almost invasive or patronizing to lead with a remark like that out of the blue, and I don’t wonder that some servicemembers and vets feel a little awkward about how to respond to it.
I don’t defend that view on the basis of any consistent etiquette principle, it’s just how I personally seem to feel about it.
(Why does it feel sorta invasive to just blurt out “Thank you for your service” to a stranger in uniform, but not invasive to pop up next to them at the counter and say “Excuse me miss, I’ll be paying for this gentleman’s/lady’s order, please” or something of that sort? I dunno, I’m not sure that makes sense.)
If the way they say it comes across more like a fuck off, that’s their prerogative. I just ignore them and move on.
This thread is not about should it be said? Or what if the person is being a jerk when they say it?
This thread is about, if it is said in a genuine manner, how should the recipient reply?
“Thank you for your support” is what I use, too. It’s always well-received.
@Kimstu, thank you for your lack of asking, for a lot of us it’s a relief.
To the op, I’m in the smile and nod camp myself. I generally try not to let it come out that I’m a vet just because of “thank you for your service”
Not hardly the same thing, but I just got off jury duty, and the jurors are collectively thanked by the judge and both attorneys with much the same words. Since by the end of the trial we’re well trained not to talk to anybody, a silent smile and slight nod of acknowledgement seems appropriate.
As for people thanking others than veterans and first responders, I do publicly-visible volunteer work, pruning street trees for a non-profit. I often get “thanks for taking care of our trees” or something like that from people walking by (not, I know, anything like the services performed by veterans and first responders, but the OP did ask). Since I enjoy the work, I often say “oh, it’s my pleasure.” I understand that this reply would not work in many cases, but it does seem to generate further comments and questions for me while I’m working.
I get “thank you for your service” from time to time, either from the occasional American I encounter (I’m Canadian, in Canada) or from the occasional Canadian (it’s not something Canadians do as a rule). I simply say “thank you”. I was operational for the first three years and the rest was staff stuff. If people want to thank me I have no need to make an issue of it. Canadians are also pretty indifferent to defence issues anyway.
Mumble and avert my eyes mostly.
In prior threads, folk have mentioned that they are or know vets who wear service-connected attire to receive discounts. So at least some vets want some show of appreciation. And I’ve encountered a good number of vets receiving VA disability who feel they ought to receive more.