Yeah, and there was me thinking I was actually interested in my degree subject matter cynical laughter at my naivety
Green_dragon, my friend, I can’t count the times I thought I was about to fail. I was going to flunk utterly, I was going to get kicked out of school, I was going to lose every hope for the future and every last shred of whatever human worth I had. My friends would abandon me, my parents would disown me, nobody would ever love me. I would have a big scarlet F branded onto my forehead forever, and even strangers would know not to make eye contact with me or speak to me. I would be cast Beyond The Pale.
But somehow I muddled through. I won’t say I did well–my transcript is not exactly a record of unsullied success–but I did well enough to get myself into grad school and stay there.
My bet is that you’ll do fine. And if you don’t, there’s almost always a way to recover.
Now get cracking. There’s pizza and coffee here if you need it.
Scribble, you’re my new virtual best friend…man, it’s good to know that someone’s been there, felt that way and come through ok. I’m going to bed now, thanks for the advice and I’ll ‘get cracking’ again tomorrow; pizza and coffee will be in order as well I think 
I’ll keep you posted as to how it goes.
Okay, Green. Sweet dreams. And, yeah, please let us know how it goes.
Boy, I take a weekend off and everybody’s life goes to hell.
Steelerphan, my wife’s doctor just started her on a new medication to try and get her blood sugar back under control after her recent hospitalization. She’s already on so much medication it’s a wonder we can keep it all straight. If she ever has to go on insulin she’ll go nuts, since she hates needles.
The kitten we’re hand raising is getting more active. The fur on its ears, feet & tail is getting darker. I have got to move those boxes out of the library so I can get the others out so they can get used to being around people. I don’t need feral housecats.
Hey, I’m checkin in again.
Lifew is looking a little better today, I’m looking through notes for a couple of my exams and I’m assured they’re nice and easy, shouldn’t be too bad. Hopefully they should make up for the ones I’m going to do horribly badly in - and then maybe I’ll get to come back next year, work hard, and get my degree. I’m posting from the library, where I’ve been for the past 4 hours and probably will be for the next 6 hours. Joy…
Could anyone send me a kitten to pet while I’m here?
Best of luck on the exams green_dragon. I finished my degree in May of 2000. I had less than 10 hours sleep my last week and wrote 6 dissertations as well as study for exams. Boy was I knackered. The Friday after exams finished I moved to England :eek:
You’ll be fine. Sleep with the books under your pillow… osmosis? Sometimes the more you try to force into your brain the quicker you lose it.
Relax. You’ll be fine
Hugs to everyone (including MrsLurky).
Lose the stuff or lose the brain? Or maybe both…anyways I’m off to bed, waking up in 5 hours to start work again…exams start on Thursday and I’m still not nearly ready…but I’m getting there…need coffee…or sleep…huh? wha? zzzzz…
We haven’t talked since I told her, and it’s really hard. To be fair, I haven’t been home. I don’t know what I’d do if I was. She’s been gone before I wake up, and I leave before she gets home, and I don’t come home till after she’s asleep. I don’t know what to do. I put myself on the line, and she just let me know how totally dissapointed in me she was. I don’t want to talk to her at all. What happens if/when I tell her I’m bi? I want to be able to tell her someday, but… I don’t trust her at all. I want to cry every day, and probably have so far. Thank god I have training for my new job to keep my busy.
Any suggestions?
Lynne–out of curiosity–how old are you?
I know what it’s like to feel like you can’t trust your folks. It’s the pits–but then you find other people you can trust, and you can help each other out instead of having to rely on your parents.
I have come to realize that there are just some things I can’t talk about with my mother. Any discussion about my career or school plans, any thoughts about my hopes for going abroad, or getting my doctorate, or whatever, are simply off-limits with her. She’s incredibly disappointed and frustrated that I haven’t achieved more in my life than I have. (She thinks I should already be finished with school, have a prestigious job–doctor, head of my own law firm–that pays at least US$50,000/yr, be married to a Nice Jewish Boy, and be well on my way to a Nobel Prize. The fact that, at almost 30, I’m pretty far from any of that stuff is a clear indication that I am a talentless, hopeless boob, right?) As a result, she does her best to undermine my self-confidence and be completely discouraging about any plan or idea for my future.
So when I need reassurance, advice, or feedback on my plans, I go to my friends instead.
Lynne, honey, it will get better eventually, it really will. You must remember that you’ve made a mature decision for yourself–the best choice you could make, imo–and that your Mom just simply may not ever approve or be okay with it. Just keep in the front of your mind that this was YOUR decision, and that you did the best you could with it, and that that process is what adults do every single day.
I went through the very same thing with my mom when I was just about your age. She survived, I survived, and we’re far better friends NOW than we were then.
My dad, on the other hand…sigh. He’ll never forgive me for divorcing my first husband, and the fact that I’m now divorcing a second one is just completely unacceptable to him. Good ol’ Dad has two ways of looking at women in abusive relationships:
- If she leaves him, she’s a failure because she didn’t “fix” it.
- If she stays, she must “like being treated that way.”
So there’s no winning with him, and my conclusion is pretty much this: He’s not a very nice man, frankly. Why on earth would I care about the opinion of someone I don’t even respect, much less like?
So, hang in there, and vent here when you have a need. {{hugs}}
Steelerphan, it doesn’t count as whining when you’re at a Comfort Party. Here, let’s make you a nice soft spot on the couch, and you name your treat…ice cream? chips and salsa? weepy movies? We’ll get you set up right away for some good old-fashioned comforting.
You have a lot on your plate right now, it sounds like…I’m sending you some very strong vibes and good thoughts, and I predict that something small will make you feel a little better over the next couple of days.
green_dragon, how go the finals? Done yet? You are SO going to be ready for a break, I bet! We’d better whip up an extra-special treat for you as a Done with Finals! celebration…
scribble…maybe a nice massage would help stave off that long, cold, lonely celibacy a bit. Everyone needs a good massage every now and again.
Lurky, if only I had room for more kitties! How I love them. We have four now, though, so my hands are a little full…
Hope your wife is well.
[hugs Washte] Hey, hon! So glad you’re still here!!
Hmmmm…let’s put on some music and put our feet up and have a great big bowl of my special hearty Chex Mix. That sounds perfect for this rainy afternoon.
Thanks, Bodypoet.
Yeah, maybe my mom’ll come to her senses, maybe even before I move out (June 29!!!). I had to call her today, and she asked me what my problem was. I said that I was mad at her, and she said “maybe we need to talk again then”. I said “no. You said the most cold, cruel thing you could last time we talked, and I’m not going to go through that again. 'Scuse me, I have things to do.” And hung up on her. I told her if she needed to get a hold of me, she had my cell phone number (which I bought 2 days ago). Grrrrr.
BTW, Scribble, I’m 18.
Sorry folks, I don’t have any real people (as in adults and such) to talk to aboot this other than like, 2 people, and I’m just fed up with her.
Aye bodypoet, I’m still around. Mostly lurking cos I’m not much into posting these days. By the time I get home from work, play with the pup and them fix dinner it’s after 9 pm and I’m knackered, so there isn’t much time to do owt else.
Lynne darlin’, be good to yourself but be careful not to burn bridges with the home environment. Your parents are your parents and when they die, you will realise that they actually do mean summat to you.
Hope everyone has a good weekend.
Hugs for Lynne? Check.
Kitty for Green Dragon? Check.
Snuggle for Scribble? Check.
Fresh baked cookies for everyone? Check!
OK I’m back.
I’ve had eight exams spread over three days. GRR! And their not over yet, I have three more to go speard over next week.
The damage is worrying. I flunked two exams today. Big style…might as well have not turned up. However I passed a big one this afternoon, one yesterday (not sure about the other one) and I was ok the day before. I’m suffering from sleep deprivation and lack of decent food. I’m taking tonight off and getting into the work tomorrow for next week’s exams.
This time is a time of pain.
Thanks all, we’re speaking again, my new job is going pretty well(but I’m still scared I’ll screw up being a waitress), and I move in two weeks. As soon as I’m sure I’m not pregnant, I’ll be good. MMM, stress.
Green_dragon–so, do you have your grades back yet? How’d the rest of your exams go?
Lynne–how’s being a waitress treating you? I didn’t last too long, but I used to know lots of people who did really well at it and cleared some great cash in tips. And how did the pregnancy test go? What’s going on?
ArrMatey–thanks for the snuggle. I could use it, lemme tell ya! Here’s a hug back ((ArrMatey))
How’s everybody else doing?
I just got hired (big sigh of relief here). I’ll start next week or the week after that. It’s not greatly exciting work, and I won’t get time off between school terms, so I can’t travel (which is the pits, but it beats unemployment.) But I can buy a staff parking permit, which lets me park a lot more conveniently than I could with a student pass. And I’ll get paid for the whole summer and next year, which is good.
The guy who dumped me a few weeks ago sent me an e-mail. (If you’re really curious about the whole saga of my short-lived relationship with this guy, check out my “He wants to go for coffee!!” thread. I’m too lazy to link to it right now–sorry.) We had lent each other CDs, but we hadn’t returned them to each other before he told me he didn’t want to see me anymore. His letter was friendly–he wants to know how I am, if I got hired, etc. And–get this–he wants to meet in person to return my CD.
On one hand, I’m curious to know why he’s so eager to see me again. On the other, I can’t imagine sucking down coffee across a table from this person being anything less than deadly embarrassing and awkward. I debated my response for a week, and then told him that this week and next week were crazy (which is true, actually), but that after that I might have some time. He zapped me back a reply and asked me to let him know when I have some time.
I’m confused, and I probably should just let the matter drop, and mail him back his frickin’ CD in a month or so. But at least I have a couple more weeks to decide whether I’m willing to see him again or not.
I’m too old for this crap. Why I can’t just shrug the whole thing off I’m not sure.
In the meantime, this week and next week are crazy. I’ll be doing nothing but field work (read “hard manual labor outdoors, usually in the rain”) and taking care of a bunch of beetle colonies.
I just keep thinking–if I can get through this, I can make it through the rest of the Degree From Hell. Wish me luck.
Green_dragon–so, do you have your grades back yet? How’d the rest of your exams go?
Lynne–how’s being a waitress treating you? I didn’t last too long, but I used to know lots of people who did really well at it and cleared some great cash in tips. And how did the pregnancy test go? What’s going on?
ArrMatey–thanks for the snuggle. I could use it, lemme tell ya! Here’s a hug back ((ArrMatey))
How’s everybody else doing?
I just got hired (big sigh of relief here). I’ll start next week or the week after that. It’s not greatly exciting work, and I won’t get time off between school terms, so I can’t travel (which is the pits, but it beats unemployment.) But I can buy a staff parking permit, which lets me park a lot more conveniently than I could with a student pass. And I’ll get paid for the whole summer and next year, which is good.
The guy who dumped me a few weeks ago sent me an e-mail. (If you’re really curious about the whole saga of my short-lived relationship with this guy, check out my “He wants to go for coffee!!” thread. I’m too lazy to link to it right now–sorry.) We had lent each other CDs, but we hadn’t returned them to each other before he told me he didn’t want to see me anymore. His letter was friendly–he wants to know how I am, if I got hired, etc. And–get this–he wants to meet in person to return my CD.
On one hand, I’m curious to know why he’s so eager to see me again. On the other, I can’t imagine sucking down coffee across a table from this person being anything less than deadly embarrassing and awkward. I debated my response for a week, and then told him that this week and next week were crazy (which is true, actually), but that after that I might have some time. He zapped me back a reply and asked me to let him know when I have some time.
I’m confused, and I probably should just let the matter drop, and mail him back his frickin’ CD in a month or so. But at least I have a couple more weeks to decide whether I’m willing to see him again or not.
I’m too old for this crap. Why I can’t just shrug the whole thing off I’m not sure.
In the meantime, this week and next week are crazy. I’ll be doing nothing but field work (read “hard manual labor outdoors, usually in the rain”) and taking care of a bunch of beetle colonies.
I just keep thinking–if I can get through this, I can make it through the rest of the Degree From Hell. Wish me luck.
Sorry for the double post. The hamsters are acting up again–what can I tell ya.
I’d say I’d go punish the hamsters, but really, it sounds kinda… Perverse?
As for the guy, hey, return the CD’s, and if it’s not working out for you, just say, “Hey, I thought I could handle having coffee with you, but it’s not working out, I’m outa here.” and walk away. I know, easier said than done, but if ya wanna rehearse it a few times in front of a mirror, go ahead. We won’t tell.
On the other hand, it could turn out perfectly okay. Who knows?
Keep us updated, and hey, have a nice cup of cocoa and some nachos before ya head out. Keep ya warm in the rain.