My mom’s Jeep is a guy magnet? 
I recently purchased this sticker and this one, minus the “SATAN” text. I wonder if placing these on my Grand Cherokee will make it into a Satan-spawned guy magnet.
Isn´t it one of the biggest issues with the anti gay religious busybodies that allowing gays to live as they chose would spell the end of the human race because they can´t have babies?
Does this compute?
Oh, I’m pretty sure Debbie Samberg back in sixth grade was involved with Satan. The cutest girl in the whole school and WICKED.
One assumes it ties back to “better than to marry than to burn.” In other words, abstinence and self-flagellation is best, but if you can’t, you need to get married so you don’t go to hell.
It’s generally a fallacy to assume that all ‘religious nuts’ are nutty in identical, or even compatible, ways. 
Isn’t ‘confirmed bachelor’ an old term for ‘teh gay’?
Only the newly born again? I see plenty of this from my 62YO, son of a Methodist preacher roommate.
What he said.
Those poor girls. I bet they have no clue that they were working for Satan just then. If I was going to be working for Satan torturing poor sexually repressed guys, I’d like to know so I could get some laughs out of the process.
Three girls of different ethnicities in a convertible with a border collie? Sounds like he fell into an Old Navy commercial.
Not sure what to make of the fact that he was on his way to buy fish medicine.
Anyone else reminded of the punchline, “Heck, we sent two boats and a helicopter, what more did you want?”
Son of a Methodist preacher!
That, I think, would a good alternative to an expletive that also starts with “Son of a…”
Can the big red dude also make a big, sexy, strong daddybear gay man come up and flirt with me? Or does he only dabble in sexy women and straight guys.
And if he gives me his number or something, bonus points…
Synonymous, I would think.
Anyone else reminded of this Onion article:
The Onion | America's Finest News Source.
Well, that article reminds me of a standup comedian I heard years ago:
“Women always have to be going here, going there, doing ‘stuff’. They don’t appreciate the beauty of just lying in bed and watching TV … on a Tuesday morning. [feminine voice on] ‘Hey, are you ever gonna get out of bed?!’[/fv off] ‘If you don’t bring me a beer I guess I’ll have to!’”
Well as the board’s resident Satanist I feel obliged to comment here. It is one of the Satanic statements that Satan is the best friend the church has ever had as he has kept it in business for years. It’s true of course: whilst Satan is there to blame for everything and out there as a boogie man dangling temptations in front of proper god-fearing folk, the concept of sin and the Christian mindset will survive.
Don’t question the ridiculous belief that the very act of procreation (and all thoughts that lead to it) are sinful - that’s Satan trying to get a grip of your soul! Now get thee to church and say some hail marys - better stay away from the girls whilst you’re at it, it’ll just make things worse. In fact anything said that contradicts conventional religious thought or orthodoxy is Satan trying to increase his dominion over the earth and must be resisted at all costs. :rolleyes:
As has been said upthread, such thinking is a perfect excuse to abdicate responsibility for the actions people take (or the things they want to do) in life. Satan is showing you something to try and lead you away from God, it’s all his fault. Er, no, those thoughts are all your own, any guilt you’re experiencing is just a basic manifestation of cognitive dissonance.
Simple, elegant, intuitive… may I borrow this as a corporate logo?
Actually, my girlfriend does bring me beer, watch me play X-Box, and let me touch her boobs on occasion, and I don’t even have to ask her. And it’s her X-Box. (Well, I do ask for the beer.) So you really did describe a large portion of what makes my current relationship.
Granted, she started law-school in January, so she doesn’t have much time for stuff other than studying, which is generally what she is doing when I’m on the X-Box. We had a considerably different relationship before she started school (we’ve been dating for well over a year now). And I do frequently get my own beer. She’s the one that relegated me to X-Box status, not the other way around. Not that I’m complaining one way or the other.
Yup.
I’m most impressed with Satan’s perfect timing. Getting three women in a Jeep, and then lining them up at a stoplight, perfectly like that.
Agent Could you ask you friend how this works? Does Satan find hot chicks already driving around, and then get them to turn, speed up or slow down so they come together?
Or, much like I discovered from my single days, you couldn’t count of having sexy willing women around when you want, so would have to plan this in advance?
Does he inspire them to drive somewhere that day, and then keep on them until they’re at the right time and place?
Is Satan allowed to inspire people or can he only tempt them? If so, then what is he tempting the women with?
How does Satan know he’s going there at that time? Does he get the same ability to read the future as God?
Wouldn’t it just be easier to send porno pop-up ads? That’s what happened to my computer, it wasn’t me visiting any fishy sites, I’m sure!