The 12 days of Christmas game

The Game Room
1

‘On the first day of Christmas my ex-wife sent to me a divorce with no alimony’

This is a gem of a lyric that a student of mine came up with in a class today. We were talking about Christmas carols and we got to thinking that the presents in the 12 days of Christmas are pretty much sh*t, apart from the 5 golden rings. Maybe you could use the geese as guard geese, but well…

So why don’t we make our own 12 days of Christmas song. For now let’s just continue the one that my student made first, but then after the 12th day, anyone can change the theme by changing the person who gave the present. Or, we could just keep going until the 83rd day or whatever.

Here we go…

On the second day of christmas my ex-wife sent to me

2 kids she hated
and a divorce with no alimony

By the way this is the 12 days of straight dope Christmas thread.

2

On the third day of christmas my ex-wife sent to me

3 bitter phonecalls
2 kids she hated
and a divorce with no alimony

3

On the fourth day of christmas my ex-wife sent to me

4 cheap attorneys
3 bitter phonecalls
2 kids she hated
and a divorce with no alimony

4

On the fifth day of christmas my ex-wife sent to me

5 sexually transmitted diseases
4 cheap attorneys
3 bitter phonecalls
2 kids she hated
and a divorce with no alimony

5

6 shots of Cuervo
5 sexually transmitted diseases
4 cheap attorneys
3 bitter phonecalls
2 kids she hated
and a divorce with no alimony

6

On the sixth day of christmas my ex-wife sent to me

6 disgusting drunk pickup guys a-laying
5 sexually transmitted diseases
4 cheap attorneys
3 bitter phonecalls
2 kids she hated
and a divorce with no alimony

7

On the seventh day of Christmas my ex-love sent to me

7 overdue credit card bills
6 disgusting drunk pickup guys a-laying
5 sexually transmitted diseases
4 cheap attorneys
3 bitter phonecalls
2 kids she hated
and a divorce with no alimony

8

On the eigth day of Christmas my ex-wife sent to me

8 boxes of junk
7 overdue credit card bills
6 disgusting drunk pickup guys a-laying
5 sexually transmitted diseases
4 cheap attorneys
3 bitter phonecalls
2 kids she hated
and a divorce with no alimony

I’m going to be hearing 5 ess tee dees for that verse all season

9

On the nineth day of Christmas my ex-wife sent to me

9 nude pictures from an orgy
8 boxes of junk
7 overdue credit card bills
6 disgusting drunk pickup guys a-laying
5 sexually transmitted diseases
4 cheap attorneys
3 bitter phonecalls
2 kids she hated
and a divorce with no alimony

10

On the tenth day of Christmas my ex-wife sent to me

10 Mormons preaching
9 nude pictures from an orgy
8 boxes of junk
7 overdue credit card bills
6 disgusting drunk pickup guys a-laying
5 sexually transmitted diseases
4 cheap attorneys
3 bitter phonecalls
2 kids she hated
and a divorce with no alimony

11

On the eleventh day of Christmas my ex-wife sent to me

11 threats of alimony
10 Mormons preaching
9 nude pictures from an orgy
8 boxes of junk
7 overdue credit card bills
6 shots of Cuervo

5 S.T.Ds!

4 cheap attorneys
3 bitter phonecalls
2 kids she hated
and a divorce with no alimony

12

Aww how sweet! :slight_smile: (I like mine better too!)

13

On the 12th day of Christmas my ex-wife sent to me

12 letter bombs
11 threats of alimony
10 Mormons preaching
9 nude pictures from an orgy
8 boxes of junk
7 overdue credit card bills
6 shots of Cuervo

5 S.T.Ds!

4 cheap attorneys
3 bitter phonecalls
2 kids she hated
and a divorce with no alimony