The Best Revenge...

Ferret Herder has the right idea, but the answer is as close as your local “Dollar Store”… Buy a cheap digital alarm clock or watch(or 2, or 17), set them/it to random alarm times and leave them very well hidden around the office…

I did this to a room mate once, as a simple (non revenge) type prank, drove him nuts

Precisely what I was going to suggest. Buy a dozen, Hide them under desks, above the ceiling tiles, behind the coffee machine, inside a photocopyer’s paper tray (stuck to the top rather than the tray itself so it’s undetectable when the tray is empty), under chairs, behind a wall clock – anywhere nobody is going to think to look.

Oh, and plant a few hidden cameras, because I’d love to see a real-life reenactment of Office Space.

I’ve done it with aging sausage in a couch. I consider it some of my finest work. It’s good to know I’ve got kindred spirits out there. :smiley:

If the toilets are the kind with a tank, then an upper-decker is the way to go.

j666, you are evil! :smiley: That sort of nonspecific paranoia should cause the place to implode in a week.

Vietnamese fish sauce in the car air vents.

You could wait until just before you clock off each day.

Then phone the speaking clock in some far distant country and just leave the phone connected all night, every night.

Phone bill is gonna be somewhat LARGE

I suppose there are several categories of pranks/stunts/revenge…

  1. Immature but harmless. Dumb junk like unplugging the phone’s handset from the phone so they answer, but there’s no voice.

  2. Aggressive. Damaging property or running up phone bills etc.

  3. Tailored. If you know their habits and prey on them. E.g. for the guy who always tears the end off an envelope and blows to expand it, you mail him an envelope filled with talcum powder.

It would be fun to do these WHILE you’re there to watch people get their comeuppance, of course.

I like something along the lines of j666’s as well, a punishment suited to the crime. If you can turn their BS against them, that would be sweet. I wonder if it could be done more subtly, indirectly. E.g. nonchalantly drop some legal phrases into passing conversations to hint that you’ve been talking to a lawyer.

And stir the pot. Use the office drama/politics against them. Bob can’t stand Ted because he got a raise that Bob thought he deserved? Tell Bob, in glowing terms, how cool Ted’s new car is. See if you can make everyone hate each other.

The true best revenge is a row of bodies face down on the floor. Everything else is just posing although I can certainly understand why somebody wouldn’t feel committed enough to an issue to serve life in prison for it. People always talk about taking the “high road” on these matters and is all bullshit. Most successful and famous people have stories about destroying their opposition by any means possible and the reason they were successful is because they pulled it off better than anyone else over and over. If you feel the urge to destroy someone, just do it although you have to weigh this against the risk of more extreme measures.

Damn. You really **are **evil. :eek: I gotta remember that one…


This is really just more of a mental masturbation thing for me, I promise. I have no intention of actually taking any kind of revenge on anyone. At this point the worst thing I might do is the next time they start in on me the way they have been lately I might mention that I had lunch with an attorney the other day (which is true, and I did explain the whole situation here at work and he gave me a bit of off-the-record advice, but the reason I had lunch with him was because we were on a date, not because I am seeking legal representation or anything.)

Cartons of milk poured behind files cabinets and desks tends to become. umm. interesting.

Or into the space above the ceiling tiles if you’re feeling energetic.

Head down to the pet store and pick up a dozen or so mice to release as a thoughtful parting gift.

What about the “Beverly Hills Cop” banana in the tailpipe?

I gotta go with the Milk Chicken Bomb.

Take an old glass mayonaise jar, and stuff it with raw chicken parts and spoiling milk. Fill it full, and put the lid on tight. Hide the jar in a heating vent somewhere in the office. After repeated exposure to heat the jar will eventually crack (if it’s not too thick) or the top will pop. The gases which have been building inside will be released. Vile, vile stuff. It will be absorbed by carpet, clothing and all kinds of things around the office.

Just make sure you don’t have to work there anymore.

Wow. I’m flattered. Thanks.

Maybe I will make the ‘passing comment’ I’ve been thinking of to my boss …