A friend and I have a mutal ex-girlfriend (we dated her at different times) who decided she still wanted to be friends with us. Unfotunately, this was more torture for us, because although we no longer date her, she acts like a total tease, making it difficult to get over her. Especially for me- in fact, she’s probably more physically affectionate toward me now than when we were dating. Sometimes I feel that she is doing deliberately, because the things she does hurt me so much inside. I’ve tried avoiding her lately, but that is kind of hard because she lives with my best friend (the arrangement is even more awkward for him). He has it bad too, because after they broke up he still believed he could win her back. Often times I’ve caught her saying to him, “We’ll never get back together if you keep blankety-blank” she holds the concept of her getting back with him like a carrot, and he’s unable to move on because he feels like he’s got a better chance of getting back with her (which wont happen, IMO). This pattern is not just limited to us. She has, in my estimation, five gentlemen total whom she has dated then demoted to ‘friend’. Much of her behavior around them has not changed, however. In fact, had I not been told by my friend that she broke up with him, I wouldn’t have found out myself because her behavior didn’t change at all. One of her ‘friends’ got a girlfriend this year and boy does the ex go on and on about how horrible this girl is (she is BLATANTLY jealous, its nuts). Another frustrating thing is our ex is extremly emotionally fragile; often times we simply stay quiet about it solely because we’re afraid how she might react.
She sounds like a real catch. :rolleyes:
Why do you even put up with her?
good question :mad:
Sounds like a friend of mine who wanted to have every option open to her at all times. Finally (after 2+years, nearly 3), I got so tired of her BS I blocked her from my AIM buddy list and haven’t talked to her since.
Her coworkers, from what my sister’s friends tell me, are as enamored of her as I am at present.
Incubus, buddy, you may realize this already, but I will say it anyway.
This woman is not your friend. Repeat, This woman is not your friend!!! Get the hell away from her. Shun her, as if she had a contagious disease. You’ll be better off.
Whatever you decide to do, you need to discuss it with your friend first, since she lives with him. Unfortunately, it appears you can’t just cut bait and get her out of your life, which would be the best thing to do.
You could always just tell her that you don’t want her to be all cuddly, sit-in-your-lap affectionate. Be very mature and nice about the whole thing discussing it rationally. Or… be rude and mean about the whole thing a-la “if you’re not going to be giving me a blowjob later tonight, get your own damn seat.” If anything, that will get her attention.
Maybe start with the mature option then move to the rude option as necessary.
I personally find it hard to be rude to women, even women who deserve it. So I definitely agree with CheeseSteak and say start with civil and work your way down until she understands.
Be forewarned she may think you’re trying to play a game, trying to be “hard to get” but you just gotta stick to your guns - eventually you’ll hit a level where she realizes this isn’t a game. And either changes her style or tries all the harder - at which point you gotta break it off.
Tough game.
Ignore it. Tell your friend to do the same. I know it’ll be hard to do, but if she’s deliberately playing a game, and you value the friendship, this is a good way to shut it down without doing any direct damage to the friendship.
From what you wrote, I also agree this woman isn’t your friend, but we’re only hearing your side of the story here. It could be you’re a little hypersensitive after the break-up and are misreading her typical behavior.