The BJ Thread: give me some, uh, pointers

Yes, please, watch the teeth. Some guys like that, but you need to assume that he doesn’t, because the vast majority don’t, and for me at least the tiniest scrape nearly ruins the whole thing.

Definitely use your tongue. Use a rhythm with a steady “beat”, preferably a fast one.

Go as far down the shaft as possible on the downstroke, and use your hands on the rest. Sounds like you already did that with the ex, but just making sure.

Learn to deep throat.

ALWAYS swallow. ALWAYS. It’s really not that bad, I swear. You just have to swallow it like a shot; if you psych yourself out about it and think, “Oh my god, there’s semen in my mouth”, it’ll be impossible. So don’t think about it–just swallow. It’s a hugely important part and for some guys (myself included) almost makes or breaks the deal.

HOWEVER, do not swallow while it’s all the way back in your throat, if you do deep-throat. You may choke instinctively, the upshot if which is that you barf, bite down or both–both being rather undesirable in the context.

If not being able to “fit it” into your mouth is a problem, try practicing by filling up water balloons (well, not all the way or anything) and holding them in your mouth for a while at a time while you’re sitting at the computer or reading or watching TV or whatever else.

Don’t stop unless he wants you to. You can tell by his face and eyes. Speaking of that, use that (his facial and eye reactions) to determine what he likes and what he doesn’t like that he’s too shy to talk about, and tweak your plan accordingly. Looking into his eyes while you’re doing it is a turn on for a lot of guys anyway, so it helps doubly.

Ask the guy for pointers as to what his specific likes and dislikes are. Use those pointers.

Fair market value for a blowjob is a full session of cunnilingus with fingers. You don’t need to offer (or recieve) one for the other every single time, but the offering of the two should be roughly equal, otherwise one of you two is getting ripped off.

The willingness and/or happiness to do something that doesn’t necessarily stimulate you but gives him sexual pleasure, is actually a pretty good bit hotter than the act himself IMO. Keep that in mind: it’s almost all in the enthusiasm, although technical skill of course is a must.

But of the actual physical pleasure that it gives, the most important things are friction (movement up and down in a steady rhythm), wetness (having lots of saliva is a big help) and tightness (hence the hand usage). Keep those in mind and base your technique on that.

Lastly, you should know that I (probably one of “the kids” you refer to, as I’m turning 20 soon) am immediately available for hands-on tutoring, no charge. :wink:

That’s true with some guys, but not with all. I’ve been with girls who just could not get me off orally if their lives depended on it. Like Johnny L.A., I’ve had more that didn’t end in ejaculation than did.

Yeah, that is a huge help, too.

When I was young my friend and I read a book (we snuck it into the basement) called “The Sensusous Woman”.

It’s dated but I remember that the intructions given on blow jobs to be pretty good.

This is the most useful thread I’ve ever started. Exactly the kind of information I wanted.

Well, to the best of my knowledge I haven’t met him yet. Do you think that if I wandered around asking men about their blowjob preferences, I might get a date?

It’s just crazy enough to work.

But you will before you get into bed or get half-naked, right? Before too late, right? After a few drinks? Try whispering in his ear and telling him to show you – it’ll work wonders.

Or go down on him, then ask. That’ll work, too.

Let’s back up a bit. Why didn’t you pleasure your husband that way? His choice or yours?

I just came here (so to speak) to address the teeth issue. Ok, usually this is a given. But my SO likes teeth. Biting in fact (not hard, but still biting). I had to get him to sign an affidavid to that effect before I’d do it, but…he liked it.
Which of course goes to the basic priciple; find out what he likes. (Although I wouldn’t start your date seach with “Do you like your penis bitten” :smiley: ")

Other than that you’ve got some good advice here…I don’t know how "Neglect not the testicles " was left out of the Bible. (But don’t bite them…nobody like that.)

Put your hands wherever your mouth isn’t. Including the rest of his body. And let us know how your date goes :stuck_out_tongue: .

I can’t recommend this book enough. Very explicit.
It gives very good tips on using your hands and mouth at the same time. For many men, using only your mouth just doesn’t provide enough stimulation.
Another recommendation is using a flavoured lubricant. Those make combined hand/mouth action much, much smoother and much more pleasant.

That’s my favorite way to swallow. That way I can take the load down the hatch, make sure none of it spills, and keep licking and sucking until the guy is totally done.

Some guys want it to stop after they shoot, some of them want sucked until they’re soft.

Basically as long as the head of the guy’s dick doesn’t unexpectedly poke my tonsils, I’m not going to gag either. :slight_smile:

What catsix said. I actually find it easier to swallow when he’s at the back of my throat.

I would never do this, for the same reason that I don’t enjoy giving blowjobs after there has been penetration: I can’t stand the taste of latex/rubber. There are better ways to practice overcoming a gag reflex. :slight_smile:

Have you ever given a blow job? Try keeping your head straight and centered while looking as far up as you can, for as long as you can. Now imagine that there’s something filling your mouth, and that your head is moving back and forth, and that you’re concentrating on doing different things with what’s in your mouth while not biting it … all without looking at what’s in your mouth, and while continuing to have your eyes rolled up so far that they’re nearly in the back of your head. Oh yeah, and did I mention that a lot of the time, the face you’re trying to look at will be out of view anyway, because the guy will often have his head back and his eyes closed? All that eye strain, just to see a chin.

See what I mean? Occasional eye contact is possible, but not the kind you’re talking about – at least not in my experience, though I’ll allow for the possibility that I’m not the most skilled fellatrix on the face of the Earth. :wink:

It’s actually a pet peeve of mine: one thing I don’t like about giving head is that I can’t talk to the guy (simultaneously asking him what he wants me to do, talking a little dirty, and doing what he wants me to do can be a little tricky), and the other thing is that I don’t get to see much of his reaction.

Wow! Things sure have changed since Grandpa’s day. I have in my collection the marriage manual my parents used for self-education called, Sane Sex Life and Sane Sex Living, by two doctors (of course!). Supposedly containing all a married couple (of course!) needed to know about sex, the closest the good docs got to “blow job” is the term “genital kiss”, which left A LOT to the imagination. So did the rest of the book.

Oh yeah… I forgot to mention this. Not necessarily technique advice, but a bonus level or something.

Hubby and I are together for over 12 years, so we know each other’s “tricks” so to speak. A few months ago, trying to come up with something new, I strolled into the bedroom carrying a hand mirror. He asked “what’s that for?” So I handed it to him and proceeded to pleasure him. He figured out that he could “watch” without having to raise his head. Totally reclined relaxation for him. I was thanked. A lot!

That’s what mirrors on the ceiling are for. Don’t you have one?

This is something that has always worked for me:

Act like it’s a delicious popsicle, or sucker (except don’t try to bite to get to the soft chewy centre :slight_smile: )

When you are just starting out you can fold your lips over your teeth, now you are providing a nice soft, but firm surface, have at him. Swirl your tongue around and suck. The more drool the better, he will slide smoother. For your first try you can try a flavoured lube if you would like, some women prefer the taste. I prefer that they have showered.

Most guys do not expect deep throat, and they are usually pretty happy with any attempt, except **watch the teeth **. Go as far as you are comfortable.

I have two rules, I like a warning before the guy comes and I don’t like anyone to try and hold my head. This doesn’t mean they can’t hold my hair out of the way, just don’t try and control my head.

As you get going, you can graze with teeth, then lick hard where you just grazed. Pay special attention to the small area just under the head underneath. It’s extra sensitive, lick, lick. you can lick as firmly as you want. Do not ignore the testicles, but if you are going to suck on on, be gentle. Think of it like a grape, Gentle. You can suck, but gently. Alternate and use your hand on the penis while you are doing this. Most guys also like it if you take their testicles in your hand and gently tug when they are coming.

**One last thing - ** If you are unsure about swallowing, don’t. It’s not a huge deal either way. One thing, if you want to try it, ask him to let you know before he does and make sure he is as far in your mouth as you can. I really don’t like sucking semen to the back of my throat. YMMV

Ahhh my mom would be so proud

Enthusiasm pays more dividends than technique.

“Enthsiasm” does not necessarily mean a frenetic pace or forceful handjobbing with the head in the mouth- at least, not for me. It just means to appear as if there’s nothing in the world you’d rather be doing at that moment than kneeling in front of him and worshipping his cck. One girlfriend who was really good at it used to pause to look me in the eye and say things like "I love sucking your cck" or “My god, your cum tastes so good- give it to me”. These are good ways to wrap things up, by the way, if your mouth is getting tired. He’s bound to finish up soon after hearing comments like these.

Well, I am, anyway.

Click on address bar of this post, right click, 'copy". Address e-mail to wife, right click in subject, “paste”.

Hold mouse over “send”.

Re-think matters.

Close the Dope.

Get comfortable yourself—a pillow to kneel on, lying without your head at a weird angle, because you may be there longer than you thought. Only give a blowjob because you can’t wait to have him in your mouth. Tell him this. Ask questions and listen to the answers. Right there and Don’t stop need to be respected as much as possible. A lot of saliva and sounds are to be expected. Listen. Enjoy.

Of course, the biggest thing is despite the name of the act, suck, don’t blow. While doing it, lie so that you give the guy some access to your vital areas so that he can return the favor somewhat as you do him.

Remember that “blow” is just an expression.