Wake. Evacuate. Bathe. Breakfast. Pluck. Make-up. Condition. Dry. Dress. Drive. Drink Tea.
Explain Britney Spears in 10 words.
It’s like I explained to the RSPCA man: I was getting dressed, the dog ran away with my clean underwear, I chased him and grabbed him just as those Mormons knocked on the door…it really wasn’t what it looked like.
She’s a neutered clone miming some ugly guy singing elsewhere.
Describe another Doper (without specifically naming them) so that others will recognize him or her in 18 words.
He is from the Netherlands where there are wooden shoes. He is dating someone from the United States.
Summarize your favourite Monty Python sketch in 8 words.
“This is a dead parrot.” whack whack whack
Describe your dream job in 31 words.
Physicist, at some place with a few decent lunch places not too far away. Currently, I have to drive several miles to get lunch, and our cafeteria sucks pretty bad usually.
Describe several good uses for a beanbag in 22 words.
Whoops, that should read "beanbag chair’.
Back when I was in university, I found that my friend’s beanbag chair was the perfect place to sit to get stoned.
Make me understand what a tomato is in 50 words.
Ah, the tomato (or, is that tom-ahh-toe?). A bright red, juicy fruit – no, it’s not a vegetable) – ideal for eating raw (with salt, fresh out of the garden). Or - why not fry up some green tomatoes? Research suggests that eating tomatoes will reduce the chance of prostate cancer in men.
Describe the best moment of today, using 14 words.
Laughed with my girlfriend. She said she loved me. We had phone sex.
Describe the nature of comedy in 18 words.
Oh, that’s only 13 words. Make that “I laughed with my girlfriend.” 
Guy walks into stuff. Funny. Guy hits other guy. Funny. Unexpected word juxtaposition occurs. Funny to a few.
Explain transubstantiation (sp?) in 2 words.
Bloody crackers?!?
A glowing orb, pale yellow, halo of bright light accentuating pocked surface.
Describe color blindness in 10 words without using the words color, or blind or any form of these words.
Top and bottom of traffic lights look similar. Be careful!
Describe why you are not normal in 17.5 words.
For you, that $2000 printer was a waste of money.
Describe the grossest thing in your house in 15 words.
I know the Third Tenor. I was friends with a pan-dimensional cosmic entity from Eggidoodlebopper al-
I can’t tell you since I am way too scared to look in the crisper.
Describe why you are not normal in 17.5 words.
No understanding of normal, can’t be something you have no knowledge of. I would like to watch norm…
Describe your worst fear without naming it in less then 15 words.
That which is hot, red, powerful – smoke alarms need new batteries often. Be safe!
Describe the last animal you saw - in 20 words.
My new puppy, Piper. She’s 5 months old, has enourmous feet and too much skin for her head, lotsa wrinkles.
Describe how and where you got drunk for the first time in 28 words.