Well, they are a cartoon disfunctional family that is poorly drawn but exquisitely voiced. No one ever put Phil Hartman to better use. And it is the only form in which I can stand Kelsey Grammer. Good show.
In 19 words, describe an insect bite.
Why you little bastard! Why didn’t I feel it? Gah! Now I’ll be scratching forever. Friggin’ mosquitoes! Next time…
Why you little bastard! Why didn’t I feel it? Gah! Now I’ll be scratching forever. Friggin’ mosquitoes! Next time…
How long is a piece of string? Nine words.
The one I cut Sunday was slightly too short.
Who is your favorite “Sesame Street” character? 23 words.
Yep Yep Yep Yep Yep Yep!! RAY-DEE-OH. RADIO. Yep Yep Yep Yep Yep Yep Yep Yep Yep Yep Yep Yep!! UH-Huh! Uh-HUH! Uh-HUH!
Kiss your favorite Mod/Admins ass in 33 words.
Lynn, we Dopers are so happy to have you back on the boards!! The BBQ Pit just wasn’t the same without you. Get some rest and heal up as fast as you can!
Describe your bedroom in 57 words.
a vast sprawling cesspool of decay, filth, and villainy… my bedroom reeks of all that is vile, disgusting, fetid, and damp. In addition my bedroom is guarded by a foul-tempered, dirty fighting, evil mannered wretch of an overgrown, man-eating cat of dubious heritage. Bring food and he will welcome you with open arms… into HELL!
63 words to describe the joys of BEER!
Do, a beer, a German beer
Ray, the guy who buys me beer
Me, the guy I buy beer for
Fa - a long long way for beer!
So, I think I’ll have a beer
La, la la la la la beer
Ti - no thanks I’ll have a beer!
And that brings us back to do do do do!
Man, do I love beer!
Describe Las Vegas in 7 words.
Arrived. Gambled. Lost 1350. Drank. Strippers. Slunk home.
Describe hockey in 27 words.
Played on ice with skates. Two nets, two goalies, twelve players total. One puck. Get the puck in the net. The Stanley cup is all that matters.
Describe the internet in 5 words
SDMB, Spam, Porn, and Kazaa.
Describe Sammy Sosa’s bat-corking in 11 words.
Porn, ronservative whackos, and Cecil. 
Retell Edgar Allan Poe’s The Raven is 11 words.
D’oh, Conservative whackos.
Give him a break, he just used it in practice. Right?
Raven knocks, says nevermore. Guy recalls wife, goes bonkers, bird remains.
Explain why conservative whackos suck in 24 words.
Taking away individual rights in the name of improving federal security is a horrible idea. Family values don’t necessarily mean ONLY husband, wife, kids.
Why should man go to the stars? 33 words, one of which is an exclamation.
Zounds! There’s probably all sorts of whacked out space stuff up there – we just need to go get it. Then we can focus on scoring with chicks and making Wheaties commercials.
Explain why the caged bird sings in 16 words.
The caged bird sings a beautiful song - you may remember it from your youth - “Free Bird.”
Describe how we should punish Lobsang for causing us to become addicted to this game, in 20 words.
I think flogging with a wet noodle would be appropriate, followed by the supergluing of fluffy kittens to various appendages.
Describe a sporting event of your choice in 47 words, making reference to at least one type of shellfish.
They say the University of Florida has the loudest football stadium in the country. Orange and Blue shirts, flags, and body paint as far as the eye can see. Tailgate parties with everything from kegs to ribs, shrimp, and lobster on the barbie. Go Gators! Go UF!
In 9 words, tell me how much the music industry is suffering from peer-to-peer file-sharing software.
music’s not free
listeners MUST pay
need new porsches
7 words for a kick to the 'nads