This will not make much sense to most people, but the best experience(s) happened to me while in the hospital. Growing up as a loner, it was when I was sick that I knew people loved me.
This is a tough one! Give a quote by Polonius in six words:
“And let him ply his music.”
Prove my guilt or innocence to a jury of your peers in 19 words.
Dear Members of the Jury, Johnny Bravo is innocent, but his chin is guilty of blocking out the sun!
Compare and contrast the Russian and Italian mafias in 44 words…
Well, the Russian mafia is Russian, so they speak Russian and they eat borscht, and the Italian mafia is Italian, so they speak Italian and they eat minestrone. Also the Italian mafia has “The Sopranos.” No show for the Russians. Yet. Give it time.
Describe a musical instrument without naming it in 21 words.
Shaped like a elongated egg, this is played by blowing into a tube at one side and covering different finger holes.
Describe yourself in one word.
I don’t like being told what to do.
describe the Tomight Show is 16 words.
The Tomight Show is just like the Tonight Show, only for people who can’t type properly.
Describe smam in one word.
Hung
Describe what laxitives do for us in 8 words
Laxitives make your bowels empty. see Colon Blow.
in 7 words, describe MacBeth.
A regicidal Scot with a psychotic wife.
Describe what the world would be like without zippers in 29 words.
In a world without zippers, Velcro is king.
The English language would lose phrases such as “zip it up” and “I am going to zip over to the store.”
Describe the appeal of “Reality TV” in nine words.
Look at them! Thank God I’m not like that…
Explain the importance of having a good mousepad in 43 words.
Soap operas with better dialogue and more gossip potential.
Describe your underwear in 14 words.
Use a mousepad. It’ll keep the “feet” under your mouse from accumulating that fuzz that keeps it from sliding smoothly. Don’t settle for the rought surface; go with the jelly-like terrain. This essential feature makes some mouse pads are better than others.
Tell me why so many people think the CGI animation of Gollum is “brilliant”, even though his motions are just as gravity-less and overly-fluid as all the other crap that gets thrown in our faces, in 50 words exactly. Mention marmalade and Knight Rider.
Although Gollum’s movements do have the general consistency of marmalade, he still seems like a living, breathing character, and appears to exist on the same plane as the Hobbits - meaning he is more lifelike than the car on Knight Rider. And he has a damn serious MPD thing going on, too.
Give us a timeline of Benjamin Disraeli’s career in 46 words.
[hijack]geez freakin’ louise, Marley![/hijack]
Started as a novelist. Took everal tries to get elected to Parliament. Leader of Conservatives while Peel was Prime Minister. Chancellor of the Exchequer under Derby. Served two terms as Prime Minister, before and after Gladstone. Only Jewish Prime Minister. Involved in acquiring the Suez Canal.
Why we should lock up Marley and throw away the key in eight words.
[hijack]geez freakin’ louise, Marley![/hijack]
Started as a novelist. Took everal tries to get elected to Parliament. Leader of Conservatives while Peel was Prime Minister. Chancellor of the Exchequer under Derby. Served two terms as Prime Minister, before and after Gladstone. Only Jewish Prime Minister. Involved in acquiring the Suez Canal.
Why we should lock up Marley and throw away the key in eight words.
I swear I checked and the first post didn’t go through!
For forcing twickster to expound upon Disraeli unnecessarily.
Describe an orange in 60 words without using the words “orange” “round” “fruit” “citrus” or “peel”.
In California and Florida, there are trees upon which grow lovely orbs of a shade between red and yellow. When juiced, these succulent globes provide a tasty breakfast beverage – just be sure to remove the pips, and strain to the desired range of pulpiness. For some reason that’s never been adequately explained, it’s really bad to compare them with apples.
Describe your most recent romantic encounter in 14 words.