Okay, then just for SPOOFE, what about a thread that pits Batman against the various Star Wars ships? Who wins there? 
Wesley Willis whooped Batman’s ass.
You can’t just pretend it never happened, people!
Since the gods of plot devices decree that Wesley can save the ship from any danger and Batman can defeat any foe it’s an "immovable object VS irresistable force kind of thing. Thus, an ecounter between the two would cause the universe to blink out of existence to be replaced by reruns of Bewitched.
What if Wesley Crusher really was Batman?
What if Wesley Willis was really Batman?
How about Bruce Willis vs. Batman?
That guy can kick ass, in any time period.
It’s called a “head.”
Huh huh. Huh huh huh huh huh.
Ew.
Hey!
Bruce Willis
vs
Willis from Different Strokes
“What you talking about, Batman?”
You greatly underestimate the power of Trek technobabel.
“By venting our warp core exhaust through an eight-dimensional matrix we created on the holodeck and then passing it through the transporter buffers we should be able to fit snuggly in the Batman’s stomach with room for at least one more burrito!”
Feh. I could take out Enterprise. The damn thing’s held together with Scotch tape and bailing wire. It’s had more breakdowns than Virginia Woolfe. The goddam Paklids shut her down, f’rchrissakes! Even the 1960s TV Batman could take Enterprise! Hell, Alfred disguised as the 1960’s TV Batman could take Enterprise!
Batman v. Deep Space Nine would be more of a challenge. After all, they’ve got Hawk in charge. Even Spencer didn’t mess with Hawk.
Dude…Batman is like the coolest superhero. The motherfuck has no actual superpowers yet he can hang with Superman and the rest of the Justice League. Unlike Superman, Spiderman or any other superhero, his alter-ego is not a total dork. Bruce Wayne is a frigin supermodel dating billionare CEO.
The Enterprise, on the other hand, is the Ford Pinto of spaceships. They explode at the drop of a hat. All the caped crusaders has to do is punch old man Picard in the face, change the access codes to something Data can’t translate (like “can’t”), throw a Baterrang into the warp core and BIFF! POW!! KA-BLAM!
No more Enterprise.
—What if Wesley Willis was really Batman?—
Batman will cause damaging disharmony in your life by cussing at you for no reason at all.
Except the success of Technobabble is utterly dependent on the whims of the Plot. In the episode Night Terrors, the Enterprise-D tries to use its nifty Anti-Borg Deflector Dish Ray to escape from some funky rift… and it fails. Why? Because there was still twenty minutes of the episode to go! But then a second technobabble attempt - a chemical explosion that, physically, should have been weaker than the power generated by a matter/anti-matter reactor - succeeded. There is no reason why this second technobabble attempt should have succeeded… except an Act of Plot.
Clearly, Plot is far more powerful than Technobabble.
Prior to the NJO books, I’d have given it to Batman any day of the week. After Vector Prime, however, when the universe developed the ability to easily kill off a Main Character, Batman’s chances drop a bit more…
But then it all depends on the ship. Anybody and his mother can sneak aboard an Old Empire Imperial-class Star Destroyer. Same goes for any Rebel or New Republic ships. However, Imperial Remnant ships, Hapan vessels, and other specialized ships can still be a tad troublesome. Batman’s in for some trouble if he tries to get aboard Booster Terrik’s Errant Venture.
Ok, this is a little more complicated than I thought. You are correct that necessities of Plot can dictate the outcomes of Technobabble. I take back my statement that Technobabble is the enemy of Plot. This is because, like it or not, Technobabble is part of the Plot. What I meant was that Technobabble is the enemy of a good or logical Plot. That being said, I don’t think you can say that Technobabble or Plot is more powerful. I could write some truly dense Technobabble that would end the Plot any way I choose. On the other hand, as you pointed out, that Technobabble is limited by the confines of the Plot. There is a symbiotic relationship at work here. Plot shapes Technobabble; Technobabble shapes Plot. It’s really a beautiful thing, in its own way.
Now for Asylum’s blasphemous remarks:
1)Kirk doesn’t need a Playboy. He is a Playboy (something that rich prick Batman will never understand).
2)Any mental damage caused by Lord of Illusions could easy be repaired by Quantum Leap. The show is infectious. Will he ever make it home? Can one man make a difference? These are the great questions of our time. Even Batman will probably find himself writing fan fiction.
3)Capture of Picard’s Enterprise is entirely dependant on the capture of Bakula’s. See #2. If Batman fails to capture all the starships in your scenario, his ill-considered plan is doomed.
4)You forgot to mention the deadly and powerful Enterprise Rent-A-Car. Again, Batman is helpless. They’re so expensive and he would have to wait in line forever at the airport.
Shit, the Star Wars ships can’t even beat Enterprise, no matter how many facts SPOOFE makes up. Since Bats already captured all of the Enterprises, he’d mop up. By the time Darth even had the thought “I’ll do this neato force thingy with my hands and strangle him”, Bats would have kicked his ass unconsious.
SPOOFE, you had to pick the one plot/technobabble conflict that actually makes sense, didn’t you? The reason the first attack failed was that the Borg had assimilated Picard and all of his knowledge, they knew what was going to be done and how to defend against it. The second attack caught them by suprise.
Quoth Asylum:
Critical mistake, there. You don’t incapacitate Scotty by getting him drunk, you incapacitate him by getting him sober. Drunk Scotty is the second-most powerful force in the Universe, second only to Torn-Shirt Kirk. Now, if he had some Bat-Sobriety Pills, that might work, if you could figure out how to trick Scotty to take them.
But get Scotty drunk, and Cap’n, Batman won’t be able to take much more of this.
I didn’t write the AOTC: ICS book, did I?
Wrong episode, Davey.
Goliath: “I don’t know, Davy… God wouldn’t like Batman and Enterprise to fight. Because The Lord died for all of them. Or was that Trelane?”
There’s no way in hell Bats can cope with technology a couple of centures more advanced than his knowledge, and Lt. Commander “What tricks are the writers going to invent this week, making the Vulcans half as powerful as God?” Spock would remember some wierd technique to incapacitate Batman.
Furthermore, Shang Chi can kick Bats’ ass all over the place in half a comice book, then devote the rest of the book to gazing into Leiko Wu’s eyes and meditating on the ironies that drive a man of peace to live a life of such violence.
Of course, the Enterprise is the flagship of the Federation, and has gone up against the worst foes the Galaxy has to offer. Batman, on the other hand, has his ass handed to him by a clown on a fairly regular basis. True, in the end he generally comes out on top, but often it takes several issues, and more often than not a horde of bystanders and/or allies are maimed or killed in the process.
It’s been pointed out that Batman is able to serve alongside Superman and the other heavyweights on the Justice League, despite having no powers himself. However, this seems more than a bit suspicious. What, in fact, is Batman’s role on the team? Could it be that his presence is simply to allay humanity’s fear about the existence of a superpowered elite? After all, when the JLA goes into action against Starro or whoever, where’s Batman? “Oh, he’s planning our strategies from a distance,” claim the Justice Leaguers disingenuously. “He’s hiding in shadows, that’s his job, he’s Batman.” Is it all just a put-up job? Let’s face it, Batman is clearly stretched to his limit when battling guys like the Penguin; is the JLA seriously going to trust him to come up with a world-saving battle plan?
If, on the other hand, the OP was asking about the television series “Batman” vs. “Enterprise,”, Batman wins hands down on the basis of Julie Newmar alone.