** How fat do you have to be to float withot effort?
What Is “Freight on Board”?**
You know, if you want to date overweight women there are lots better pickup lines.
So…I got fired today
I haven’t had sex in three years
Well, maybe that prostitute gig just wasn’t your thing.
**Good jokes you’ve heard recently
I haven’t had sex in three years **
Bwaaa!
What completely normal situations get your goat?
Damn relatives.
** What’s the stupidest thing Google has recommended to you?
The Two-Fisted Heroes’ Guide to Time Travel**
Yes, but it’ll be a collectors’ item in 2525.
**Damn relatives.
I haven’t had sex in three years **
Well, you’d probably have more options if you considered dating someone who’s not your cousin.
**3 women freed after 30 years as captives in the UK
Damn relatives.
**
I haven’t had sex in three years
Not everyone wants to “celebrate” Thanksgiving
But after three years, that turkey is looking attractive…
Sit on Santa’s lap…
I haven’t had sex in three years
Security! :eek:
** What do you want for Christmas?
PC Replacement: Need Answer Fast**
“Thank you for calling Santa’s North Pole Hotline. Please listen closely, as our options have changed. Dial 1 for returns. Dial 2 for complaints about elves. Dial 3 to order the 2014 Mrs. Santa Penthouse Calendar. Dial 4 for details about the class action lawsuit over reindeer roof damage. Dial 5 for this year’s gift requests. Dial 6 to find out what happened to last year’s gift requests.
Please continue holding, your business is very important to us.” ♪ ♬ Have a holly jolly Xmas ♫ ♭
That’s evil. 
** Can I show up at a Catholic Church & just join the congregaton? What’s to stop me?
Poll: Hera, Aphrodite, Athena**
I imagine Thor will have something to say there as well.
**Can I show up at a Catholic Church & just join the congregaton? What’s to stop me?
Richard Simmons **
**How do quadriplegics/injured people relieve sexual tension?
How about a St. Louis Dopefest next week? **
:eek:
Another teenaged airplane thief
I am quite high up in the sky [locked thread]
“Young man, you land that airplane right now!!!”
What would you do if your daughter did porn?
The Appalachian Trail
A few months on the trail might take your mind off it…
** If I could take your brain and stick it in a pickle jar, would you still be conscious?
How does this help a toothache?**
C’mon, what’s the harm in trying?
What do you do when you get the house to yourself?
Why wasn’t the zebra domesticated?
Weekend project!
What do you do when your life has been stolen?
Buy a used snowblower
Well, why not?
Do you know how to use all the programs in Microsoft Office?
What would you do if your daughter did porn?
Then you need Windows Media Player, silly.